


Indulgence

by immistermercury



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, I don't, It was a necessity, M/M, Playgrounds, Soft Boys, eva is Good, freddie with a baby, freddie's children are biological, i won't pretend i know where this is going, immigration application, it's another father fic!, it's not fluorescent au though, jim's is adopted, oh bomi, remember my 250k fluorescent verse?, supportive parents (of the boys), that wasn't supposed to work out that way either, the whole thing is fluff i promise, this is v good for stress relief, vignette-style, vignettes of the boys being fathers, what a strangely loveable character, yes - Freeform, you read that right
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2020-07-27 13:09:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 57,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20046553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immistermercury/pseuds/immistermercury
Summary: Jim took the cigarette from Freddie’s lips and flicked the ash off for him so that it didn’t land on the baby; Freddie’s grin was lopsided and warm. “Christ, which inch of my fantasies did you fall out of? Tall, handsome, strong, and you know how to be my third hand? I’ll be keeping you around.”Jim laughed and took a drag of his own. “I admire you for having the energy for having a baby on top of a five-year-old. Eva knocks me out most nights.”“It’s all in the Red Bull, darling. I can’t remember the last time I ate an actual meal.” He chuckled. “I’ve stooped to Monster at some points. I once poured Monster into a double shot espresso and nearly died of heart palpitations.”





	1. The School Run

**Author's Note:**

> You can picture these children as Olly and Lulah; I literally just changed the names so we wouldn't get the AUs mixed up! I wanted to write a soft daddy fic again because I have major writer's block and this was all I could think of to write. This isn't intended to have much plot apart from getting together and the infamous if they're both daddy how is this going to work, so you can strap yourselves in for a fun-filled fluff ride!

Jim must’ve been watching the scene in front of him, on and off, for at least half an hour. His little girl was dashing around the playground with her friends, her blonde pigtails bouncing as she leapt from the swings and whizzed down the slide with her friend. It was a Thursday, just after school hours had finished for the day, and Jim was feeling a little bored and alone; the mothers from school didn’t tend to speak to him too much simply because of his gender.

“Daddy!” Eva called, dashing over to Jim. “Daddy, Daddy, I made a friend!”

“Did you, princess?” He picked her up and smiled. “Who’s your new friend?”

“He’s called Dylan and he’s five but that’s okay because I’m nearly five too.” She told him seriously. “And he’s here with his daddy too!”

“That’s nice!” Jim smiled and put his book away, standing up. 

“Look!” She squealed, kicking her little legs until he put her down again. She dragged him over to the little boy, who was looking entirely perplexed but happy all the same. “Look, Daddy, this is Dylan!”

“Hi, Dylan.” Jim smiled. “Where’s your daddy?”

Dylan pointed shyly over to a man sat cross-legged on a bench, nursing a baby in his arms, feeding it from a bottle. “Eva, darling, why don’t you run off and play? I’m going to go and talk to Dylan’s daddy for a bit.”

“Okay!” She agreed, and they ran off together, headed straight for the big slides. Jim sat beside the man, taking a moment to admire him from the side; he had dark, curly hair, the most gorgeous warm skin, lips a soft pink. The baby was adorable, too, skin just a little cooler, one small hand resting on his father’s finger as he drank, blinking big green eyes up at them both.

“Can I help you?” The man asked carefully, though his smile was friendly and warm. Jim immediately blushed, realising that he’d been caught staring; he had to remind himself sometimes that unwarranted attention was treated with suspicion, not joy. 

“Sorry.” He apologised quickly. “My daughter seems to have made quite the friend of your son. I thought I’d come over and introduce myself.”

“She has?” The man looked up from the baby quickly, clearly delighted. “Oh, that’s just wonderful! So many people don’t want to play with him.” He smiled at Jim as though he’d orchestrated it himself. “Thank you.”

“Oh, I didn’t do anything.” Jim chuckled. “Eva just ran over to me to tell me she’d made a new friend.”

  
  
“Thank you for raising your little girl to be open-minded.” The man said earnestly. “Sometimes I wonder why more people don’t do the same.”

“What - if you don’t mind me asking - what keeps other children away from him?” Jim asked softly.

“We’re Parsi.” The man explained. “And the kids around here don’t tend to trust children that aren’t white. His English isn’t fantastic, too, so lots of people assume that he’s mute. He just doesn’t like it when people laugh at him, poor thing.” He lifted the baby up quickly when it started to grumble and patted its back gently. “I never asked you your name, I’m so sorry.”

“I should’ve told you! It’s entirely my fault.” Jim smiled. “I’m Jim Hutton, and my daughter is Eva. She’s adopted.” He told him quickly. “People always wonder how a single man has a daughter. No, I’ve never been married, I’m gay. I just haven’t found a partner yet, and I wasn’t about to let that hold me back from having my daughter.”   


  
“Do you just have the little girl?” The man questioned, resting his cheek on the baby’s head. At Jim’s nod, he smiled. “God, that’s the dream, isn’t it? A little girl all to yourself, to love and to spoil.”

“It is wonderful.” Jim agreed. “She’s a boisterous little thing, too, and I just think that’s amazing. She’s been through so much, and she’s got such a big heart at the end of it.” He smiled. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Freddie.” He smiled. “I’ve got two boys. My eldest is Dylan, and this is baby Theo. They’re biological.” He said, just explaining in the same manner as Jim had.

“It’s unusual to see Dad do the school run and the baby care.” Jim commented, smiling as he looked down at little Theo. “Oh, he’s gorgeous.”

“Isn’t he just?” Freddie cooed, gently touching the bottle back to his lips when he reached for more. “I’ve got sole custody of them, actually. Mum decided she didn’t want anything to do with us. Kids were always my thing, and after we’d had them, she thought they weren’t hers.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Jim said quickly, embarrassed by how he hadn’t even considered that Freddie could be a single parent.

“It’s not your fault, darling!” Freddie said animatedly. “It’s exhausting, and I can’t remember the last time I had more than three hours’ sleep in a row, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” He closed his tired eyes for a long moment and then smiled. “I mean, sometimes I’d pay to be sixteen and drinking champagne in bed again, but I think I’d feel very lonely without them to keep me on my toes. If it’s not one, it’s the other, you know?” He chuckled. “Dylan’s lost his pencils and the baby’s hungry and Dylan needs help with his homework and the baby needs a bath and so on and so forth.” He smiled apologetically. “Sorry, I’m a bit of a chatterbox.”

“Don’t apologise!” Jim beamed at him. “People don’t tend to talk to me in the playground, it’s like-”

  
  
“They can’t possibly trust you because you’re a man?” Freddie grinned. “Honey, I know that one too well. They look at me like I’m going to poison my baby with sheer incompetence even though I’ve been the one looking after both of them since we got them. My wife rolled out of bed, put on lipstick and face powder, and then went off and found herself another man.”

“She sounds delightful.” Jim said sarcastically, opening a box of cigarettes and offering one to Freddie.

“Oh, I shouldn’t-” He took one from the box with his teeth and grinned. “Would you be a darling and light it for me?”

Jim struck a match and lit Freddie’s cigarette for him with a smile. “I don’t know whether I can blame her for everything.” Freddie continued his little recital, intermittently puffing smoke at the clouds. “I don’t know if I really loved her at the end. I started having these thoughts, you see, that everything I’d created was sort of- a beard, I guess. Like I was trying to hide behind this perfect family façade.”

Jim took the cigarette from Freddie’s lips and flicked the ash off for him so that it didn’t land on the baby; Freddie’s grin was lopsided and warm. “Christ, which inch of my fantasies did you fall out of? Tall, handsome, strong, and you know how to be my third hand? I’ll be keeping you around.”

Jim laughed and took a drag of his own. “I admire you for having the energy for having a baby on top of a five-year-old. Eva knocks me out most nights.”

“It’s all in the Red Bull, darling. I can’t remember the last time I ate an actual meal.” He chuckled. “I’ve stooped to Monster at some points. I once poured Monster into a double shot espresso and nearly died of heart palpitations.” He joked. 

“And I thought I was bad with the coffee.” Jim found himself relaxing in Freddie’s presence; he just seemed to understand exactly how he felt. “Do you have those days where you get to the end of the day and all you’ve eaten is half a pack of instant noodles at work?”

“I don’t even have work to regulate me.” Freddie chuckled. “It gets to ten o’clock and I realise I haven’t eaten anything so I just eat a full pack of biscuits so I don’t literally collapse. I work at home, you see, so I have to try and work whenever the kids are asleep, and it’s usually disastrous.”

“I can see why you’re tired.” He smiled. “I’m a hairdresser, so I just work school hours so I can be at home when Eva is. When she gets home we snuggle or we bake or we go out to the park or she comes food shopping so she can convince me into buying all of her little favourites.”

“That’s a privilege.” Freddie told him seriously. “I’m an artist, and I have an exhibition coming up. Have you ever tried to paint with a baby dribbling down your back because he won’t stop crying if you put him down?” He smiled tiredly. “It doesn’t exactly put you in the most creative of moods.”

“Why don’t you come over to mine for a coffee?” Jim asked abruptly. “Nothing fancy. I’m sure Eva would love to have Dylan over for the evening.”

“Can I extend the hospitality in the opposite direction?” Freddie put the bottle in his bag and bounced the baby gently. “I’d love to come to yours, but I need to put the baby down for a nap, and he’ll get grumpy if he’s not in his crib.”

Jim smiled and stood up as Freddie did. “I’d love that.” He replied, calling quickly for Eva. 

“Then it’s a date.” Freddie winked, holding the baby against his chest while Dylan took his other hand.

* * *

“That’s literally the best that he’s gone down in weeks.” Freddie smiled as he leaned against the counter, listening momentarily to the sound of silence from upstairs. “Sorry, darling, I promised you coffee and then abandoned you in my kitchen. Please excuse the mess, I didn’t realise I’d be having guests over today.”

“Freddie, you don’t have to apologise. Having kids is hard work.” Jim smiled. “Why don’t you sit down for a second and I’ll make a pot? Your feet must be killing.”

“Ibuprofen works wonders.” He promised, but he sat down all the same, heaving a sigh of relief. “It’s my back, actually, that it gets to. I haven’t bought a pushchair yet, so I have to carry the baby everywhere.”

“I might have an old one you could have.” Jim hummed as he found the cafetiere and the ground coffee. “How strong?”

  
  
“As strong as you can fucking make it.” Freddie laughed and yawned, resting his head against the kitchen table. “It’s four o’clock and I could pass out standing up. Dylan usually lets me have a nap at about this time, especially if he can tell the baby’s been bad.”

“Do you need to go and have a lie-down?” Jim asked softly. “It’s completely alright if you want to, I mean, you’ve definitely got the harder job here.”

“No, no.” Freddie waved it off. “What kind of hospitality is that? Welcome to my house, I’ll be with you when I’ve woken up.” He chuckled. “I won’t die, darling, you don’t mind me.”

* * *

Freddie fell asleep on him within half an hour as they sat together in the lounge, halfway through the pot of coffee. Jim had excused himself to go to the bathroom, and by the time he’d come back, Freddie was curled up on his end of the sofa, looking very unguarded, very youthful, and very vulnerable; Jim took one look at him and decided to try and make his life a little easier. He put a blanket over the top of him and went to check on the children; Eva and Dylan were building tall towers together, playing make-believe with who could be trapped in them and who would save them from languishing there forevermore.

“I think the prince could destroy the dragon.” Jim agreed with Dylan and smiled. “If he had a magical sword that could destroy anything in his path.”

“Sword?” Dylan echoed, and Jim remembered what Freddie had said:  _ his English isn’t fantastic.  _

“It’s like a very long knife that they used in battles a long time ago.” He smiled and sat down beside them both. “Dylan, darling, do you know what kind of food your daddy likes to eat? I’m going to make dinner tonight.”

Dylan’s little face lit up as though it was information he’d been retaining for a very specific purpose. “Daddy has recipes.” He told Jim seriously, leading him into the kitchen and finding a little stash of papers by the fridge. “From madar bozorg.”

Jim flicked through a few until he found one that he thought he and Eva would also enjoy, and then set about finding the ingredients in Freddie’s kitchen. While his vegetable drawer was plentiful, the rest of his fridge was a little pitiful; a little meat, some milk, some butter, and some water. 

* * *

Freddie jolted awake as soon as he realised he was asleep, surprised to find himself under one of his blankets that he definitely hadn’t pulled into his lap when he had been awake. His heart immediately started to beat faster; he’d left his children, his baby, with a man he hadn’t known more than an hour. He didn’t know anything about him, and anything could have happened to them.

He walked quickly into the kitchen, and the sight touched his heart.

The smell of spices floated through the air from the bubbling pot on the stove; Dylan lay on the floor with Eva as they got competitive over a game of Jenga; Jim sat in the armchair in the corner, giving the baby his next bottle. He’d moved the Moses basket into the kitchen to keep an eye on them all at once.

“How did you-” Freddie breathed out slowly. “How did you know it was Theo’s feeding time?”

“You have a little chart on the fridge.” Jim smiled up at him. “And he was getting grumpy, and Dylan suggested he might be hungry. He said you usually serve dinner while you feed the baby, but I don’t have that kind of dexterity.”

“Thank you.” Freddie smiled shyly and rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand. He took Theo when Jim carefully handed him over and pressed a light kiss to the baby’s forehead. “Hello, darling.” He leaned back against the wall and smiled. “I’m so sorry, jigar, Daddy was sleeping and he didn’t hear you getting hungry. Aren’t we lucky to have Jim around?” He smiled as he put the bottle back to his lips.

“Dinner’s ready when you’ve finished.” Jim smiled as Dylan jumped up.

“I’m hungry!” He told Jim and Freddie tutted a little.

“Jim has been lovely for us, darling, and he’s made dinner for us. You have to be lovely in return and ask nicely.” He said, voice a little firmer. “Show me how you ask nicely.”

“Please may I have some?” Dylan asked sweetly and smiled. 

“Of course you can, darling.” Jim dished some out for both children and smiled.

“Thank you, darling.” Freddie kissed his son’s cheek lightly. “Thank you for being a good boy.”

Jim walked over to Freddie and stood beside him, listening to the gentle snuffling noises the baby made as he fed. “Suddenly I understand why you’re so tired all the time.”

“You seem to have mastered it in the space of an hour. I’m still trying.” Freddie smiled apologetically. “Sometimes it can get a bit lonely, honestly.”

“I can imagine.” Jim brushed hair from the baby’s forehead. “It’s hard to look after a baby at the same time on your own. It’s a nice little holiday for me, because it’s like playing make-believe, but it’s your reality.”

“Don’t I know it?” Freddie said softly. “It’s been really nice to have you over this evening. You’re probably the first guy I’ve had over that doesn’t find the whole baby and kid thing disquieting.”

“Never.” Jim promised. “Do you have guys over a lot? I mean, not in that way, more like-”

“Chill out. I know what you mean.” Freddie stood the half-empty bottle on the table and bounced the baby. “Not since it’s just been me and the kids. When I was with my wife, we were in a real rough patch, and I realised that I like guys. I was something of a Lothario, except they never came back to my place. My wife and I, we’d take it in turns to mind the kids just so we could go out and-” He made himself mindful of his language. “Find other people, you know? That’s when we realised it was never going to work out. Except she valued that life over our kids.”

“How old are you?” Jim asked. “If you don’t mind me asking, I mean.”

“I’m twenty-one.” Freddie shook his hair from his face. “I had Dylan at sixteen. In my culture, you start young. Mama had me at fifteen.” He explained. “God, it’s depressing, twenty-one and I haven’t had sex in the best part of three months.” He chuckled. “What about you?”

“Twenty-three.” Jim gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. “I had Eva at twenty. I didn’t really think about the impact on the rest of my life.”

“I just don’t know how you’re supposed to meet people. You don’t get single dads that aren’t like mid-thirties, early forties, and I’m not into that kind of age gap. I don’t need a boyfriend twenty years older than me.” Freddie picked the bottle back up. “God, listen to me whining. I’ve known you the best part of three hours and you already know about my lack of a sex life. That should tell you something.”

Jim laughed. “We all got lost in that trap. Sometimes it’s hard to see the wonder of what’s at the end of your nose.”

“I have a wonderful life.” Freddie said earnestly. “And I couldn’t ask for better boys. I’d just quite like a full night’s sleep and a boyfriend at the same time.”

Jim chuckled. “I think we look for very similar things.” He said fondly. “Although, I’d just like a lie-in. Eva doesn’t wake me in the night too often anymore.”

Freddie laughed. “Alright, show off.” He said playfully. “What’s for dinner?”

* * *

“It’s been really lovely having you around.” Freddie scrawled a number on the back of his hand. “Call me sometime when you want to complain about the joys of fatherhood.”

“Thank you, Freddie.” Jim smiled and took Eva’s hand as they went out into the evening light. “Good luck with the baby.”

  
  
“Thank you.” Freddie chuckled. “I wish we- oh-” He blushed and shook his head. “Oh well.”

“Are you going to-” Jim cast a glance around quickly. “Would you like to kiss me goodnight?”

Freddie’s face lit up. “Yes!” He squeaked; he leaned in and gently touched his lips to Jim’s. 

Jim pulled away after a moment, smiling. “Well, goodnight.”

“Goodbye.” Freddie said, voice a little wistful.

“Oh, not goodbye!” Jim leaned in and kissed him lightly again. “Goodnight!”

Freddie’s blush was demure, and Jim wasn’t sure if he was more in love with that or the way he phoned later that evening just to check they’d gotten home safely.


	2. Skyline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all begins to get easier.

Eva lay against his chest, giggling each time Jim pressed a kiss to her cheek or her forehead; she glanced up at her daddy with all the love in the world behind her eyes. “I love you, Daddy.” She said softly, reaching up to touch the scruff of Jim’s beard.

“I love you too, sweetheart.” Jim smiled and gently brushed her hair back. “You’re my special little girl, darling, aren’t you? You’re my favourite little girl in the whole world.” He kissed her forehead again just to hear her squeal. 

“Daddy?” She giggled and wriggled onto his chest so that they were laying nose to nose. “Daddy, why did you kiss Dylan’s daddy? Boys don’t kiss boys.”

“I like kissing boys.” Jim told her and kissed her nose. “Some boys kiss boys, and some boys kiss girls.”

“But why did you kiss Dylan’s daddy?” She asked again.

“It’s just us being friendly, darling.” Jim chuckled. “It was me saying thank you for letting us stay at his house for the evening.”

“It wasn’t friendly.” She started to giggle. “You kissed him on the mouth! I don’t kiss my friends on the mouth.”

“It’s because I like Freddie.” Jim told her with a fond smile.

“You like-like Freddie.” Eva started to giggle and bounced on his chest. “Daddy loves Freddie!”

“Eva!” Jim laughed. “Darling, you mustn’t say things like that! Even if I do like Freddie, you don’t want to make him sad by telling him. Some people don’t like people feeling like that.”

“Why?” She asked him. “I like being loved.”

“I know, darling.” Jim brought the blanket over the both of them. “But Freddie might not want to be loved by anyone at the moment, and especially not by me.”

* * *

“Oh, fucking-  _ shit.”  _ Freddie muttered to himself, digging through his wallet to try and find the money to afford their shopping. “Can you take the cigarettes out? They’re too expensive.” He murmured apologetically, trying to keep his voice down with the embarrassment. “Shit, I’m so sorry, I need to take a couple of things out.” He started combing through the shopping, taking out anything that wasn’t completely necessary: he hadn’t realised how little he had in his wallet that day.

“Daddy, why can’t we have the biscuits?” Dylan asked loudly, clearly putting up a fuss, and Freddie’s skin crawled.

“Dyl, darling, Daddy hasn’t got the money with him today to get the biscuits. We’ll get them next time.” He promised hurriedly. When he got the shopping down to what he could afford, it was enough for school lunches, baby formula, dinners for Dylan and the cigarettes for himself - he’d be hungry, but he sure as hell wouldn’t be withdrawing from nicotine at the same time.

“It’s Freddie.” Eva whispered to Jim as she sat on his hip. “Daddy kiss him.”

“Eva!” Jim chastised her. “Don’t say that kind of thing in public, darling, please.”

“Sorry, Daddy.” She murmured apologetically; they both stood and watched Freddie for a few seconds. Jim didn’t feel comfortable watching Freddie like that, in the same way as everyone else was, scrambling to be able to afford what he could. He’d been there too much himself.

“Hey-” Jim pushed through the queue and dug in his pocket for his wallet, handing him a twenty-pound note. “Hey, buy it. You need it.” He said softly, thinking of how bare his fridge had been. 

“I can’t let you do that.” Freddie said immediately. “It’s fine, I get paid in a few days, I’ll just come back and get it.” He lied, pushing Jim’s hand away.

Jim ignored him and turned to the cashier. “How much for the whole shop?” He asked her.

“Thirty-five sixty-two, sir.” She replied. “With the cigarettes, it’s thirty-nine exactly.”

Jim dug in his pockets and got out another twenty-pound note, handing them both over. “Include the cigarettes.” He told her, managing to hand it over just as Freddie grabbed his wrist.

“You can’t!” He insisted, but the cashier was already tucking the notes away. “Jim, I-”

“Shush.” Jim took the pound coin and tucked it into Freddie’s pocket. “It’s done now.”

“God, I hate you.” Freddie grumbled as he took the shopping. “You’re so nice.”

Jim laughed and quickly bought the few things he’d been intending to buy. “You can repay me with your company.”

“For forty quid I’d expect a full dinner service and a complimentary blowjob.” Freddie murmured and Jim burst out laughing.

“I mean, if you want to…” Jim trailed off with a wink. “This place is quite far away from yours, isn’t it?”

“It’s one stop on the District line. It’s the easiest shop to get to from mine, really. The least walking.” Freddie smiled. “Easiest to do with the kids.”

“You’re going to take a baby, a five-year-old and three bags of shopping on the tube?” Jim asked. “God, you’re braver than me.”

“Lots of practice. The hardest thing is Dylan’s tendency to dawdle because he wants to look at everything and I’m conscious that we’ll miss our stop, and I don’t have any hands free to keep him safe.” He chuckled. “We’re alright.”

“I’ve got the car with me, do you want a lift back?” He offered. “I mean, we live in the same square, so it’s no skin off my back.”

“We do?” Freddie asked. “What number are you?”

“Ninety-two Earl’s Court Square.” Jim grinned. “Second floor flat. We’re pretty much directly across from you.”

“I didn’t realise.” Freddie murmured apologetically. “That would be lovely, Jim, thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” He took Eva’s hand and led them out to the car. “I don’t have a baby car seat, though.”

“I’ll hold him. It’ll be fine, it’s no more dangerous than taking him on the tube and being jostled all the time.” Freddie smiled and sat in the passenger side, checking to see that Dylan had gotten himself all strapped in. 

* * *

Jim didn’t get weekdays off that often; his friends all worked during the day, and so he didn’t see the point of having the time off. This time, though, he thought he’d go over and see Freddie for an hour or so. He jogged down the stairs of the big house and went out the front door, locking it quickly. He kicked through the fallen leaves as he crossed the green and went up to the solid front door. He rang the bell for Freddie’s apartment, tapping his fingers on the iron fence.

“Hello?” He heard Freddie’s voice through the crackling speaker. “Who is it?”

“It’s Jim.” He replied quickly. “This might be a bad time, but I was wondering if you wanted company for a little while?”

“Yes!” Freddie’s delighted voice came through the speaker. “Let me buzz you in.”

Jim opened the main door and went up to Freddie’s flat, grinning when he saw Freddie’s smiling face from the open door. “This is a lovely surprise!” He said animatedly. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“I’ve got the day off, so I thought I’d pop over.” He took in the sight of Freddie in paint-stained overalls and couldn’t wipe the smile from his face. “I thought we could do the school run together later.”

“I have so much to thank you for.” Freddie grinned. “Come in, come in, I’ll put the kettle on.”

“How are you doing?” Jim asked, closing the door behind himself and going into the kitchen. “You were pretty stressed the last time I saw you.”

“Oh, darling, life is just challenging me at the moment.” Freddie shook his head theatrically, brushing it off, and grabbed two mugs. “Tea or coffee?”

“Tea for me, please.” Jim smiled and walked up behind him, lightly resting a hand on the small of his back. “Genuinely, Freddie, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Freddie glanced up and smiled at him. “Just a messy week. I’m having some troubles with the Home Office and with the whole divorce, and I’ve just been stressed about Dylan starting school, that’s all.”

“Troubles with the Home Office?” Jim questioned, grabbing the milk from the fridge for him. 

“So, when you first move to England, you’re put on a probation period for two years and you can’t claim any state help for anything. Which was fine because my wife was English, so it didn’t apply to her, and she was working while I was the househusband.” He poured the boiling water into a teapot. “Except now that our divorce has been finalised, she sends me money for the kids, but it’s not enough for me on top of it, and I can’t claim any help because I’ve only been here for two months.”

“So it’s money troubles?” Jim asked softly.

“I can’t help myself because I can’t get a job.” He explained and took the teapot over to the table. “Because I’ve got the baby, and childminders cost a lot of money. I don’t like to ask my parents for help, because they’re already paying the rent on this place and I feel bad about that. Do you know how expensive baby formula is?” He chuckled.

“I can imagine.” He agreed and poured the tea out for both of them. “How’s the art going?”

“Really well!” Freddie smiled. “It’s the exhibition next week and so I’m going to go and set it all up tomorrow. I’m doing the last finishing touches today.”

“Can I help?” Jim leaned on his hand and smiled at Freddie. “I’ve got the rest of the week off and I’ll be bored otherwise.”

Freddie beamed at him. “Of course you can! An extra pair of hands is always welcome, especially with muscles like that.” He winked playfully. 

“You flatter me.” Jim chuckled and leaned forward, gently taking Freddie’s hand and smoothing his thumb over the soft skin on the back of his middle finger. “I’m excited to see it.”

He couldn’t stop his eyes from raking over Freddie’s form when he stood up to reach the biscuits from the cupboard, admiring the slight curve of his ass. “Why don’t we go into the lounge?” Freddie offered, standing by the door and smiling.

“Sounds good.” Jim brought the teapot with him and set it down on the coffee table. 

* * *

They sat down for dinner as the four of them that evening, all cramped into Freddie’s tiny little kitchen, the baby in the Moses basket by the fridge. Freddie and Jim sat opposite each other, smiling when they caught each other’s glances; Freddie’s heart pounded when Jim leaned in and bumped his foot against Freddie’s, deliberately invading his space just a little. Freddie wasn’t sure why he felt crowded, the same thrill that he’d felt when big men had had him against the wall at clubs.

He felt like this was the beginning of something, that might just become something special.

When he stood up in the middle of his dinner to tend to a crying Theo, Jim wordlessly placed his food back in the still-warm oven to stop it from going cold; all that Freddie could feel was an overwhelming sense that things might just start to get easier. 

He stood by the doorway and bounced the baby, shushing him gently; he wasn’t due food, and instead was just grumpy about being left alone for too long. “It’s okay, jigar.” He said softly, kissing Theo’s forehead. “It’s okay, sweetheart, Daddy’s here now. You’re so good, darling, calm down for me, there we go.” He smiled when Theo quietened and blinked up at his daddy, starting to smile.

“My gorgeous little boy.” Freddie cooed and kissed his forehead again, rocking him slowly and smiling when his little fists locked into Freddie’s overalls. “Oh, you just wanted a cuddle, didn’t you? You got a little lonely in your basket.” He instinctively moved into the kitchen and started clearing away pots and pans, baby balanced in one arm, his usual routine when the baby started to cry; he had a tendency to forget or abandon whatever he was doing beforehand.

Jim stood up and gently rested a hand on Freddie’s shoulder. “Do you want me to take him for a while?” He offered. “You haven’t finished your dinner.”

“I forgot.” Freddie smiled apologetically. “I mean- yeah, if you want to.” He bounced Theo gently and handed him over to Jim. “It’s nice having you around.”

“It’s nice to be around.” Jim grinned and took Theo, holding him carefully and cooing when he immediately clutched tight to him. “Sometimes life can be a little lonely when you’ve only got a four-year-old for company.”

Freddie got the remainder of his dinner from the oven and went back to eating. “You know, both times I’ve had newborns, I’ve been terrible with remembering to eat. Last time was less stressful than this time, too, I was just awful at recalibrating.”

“You’ll get there.” Jim said comfortingly. “You’ll get someone to help you out, too, so you’re not just trawling through it on your own.”

“And hopefully indefinite leave to remain.” He smiled wryly. 

* * *

“Baby is in bed.” Freddie smiled triumphantly as he sat down on the sofa. “He’s so much better when you’re here. Maybe I’m less stressed.” He lay back into the cushions and closed his eyes momentarily. 

“That makes me happy.” Jim watched his relaxed smile and felt his heart warm. “Freddie, darling?”

Freddie’s cheeks warmed at the pet name and he smiled shyly. “Yes?” He asked sweetly.

“Can I kiss you?” Jim asked hopefully. “I know the kids are the next room over, I just- I really like you.”

Freddie laughed. “I like you too.” He said shyly, more like a boy with his first love than a man with two children. “Of course you can.”

Jim cupped his cheek gently and smiled. “I’d pretend that I was satisfied with the goodnight kiss, but I think we’re sending each other signals that we want more than that.”

  
  
“Am I that obvious?” Freddie’s grin was cheeky. “I’m flirting with you, sue me. As much as I can with children around, anyway.”

“There’s a reason I came out to you straight away. You’ve got to steal your chances when you get them.” Jim leaned in and pressed his lips to Freddie’s, less chaste than the evenings previous. Freddie wrapped his arms around his neck and grinned into the kiss, squeaking when Jim gently pushed him back into the cushions.

“I’m not so innocent when the children aren’t around.” He snaked a hand into Jim’s hair and kissed him slower, deeper, parting his lips ever so gently.

“Call me when your sister has the kids.” Jim grinned. “I’ll give Eva to my mother.”

“I look forward to it.” Freddie smiled in response. 

They lay together, lazy and kissing, until the sun disappeared behind the London skyline and Jim begrudgingly had to take Eva home to bed.


	3. Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Embraced and accepted.

Freddie looked better rested that afternoon; he’d had a reasonable night’s sleep for the first time he could remember for the longest time. The baby had only woken three times in the night for his bottle, and had otherwise slept through: three lots of three hours’ sleep felt like an indulgence for Freddie. He tapped his toes as he waited for Dylan to come out of the school gates, cradling Theo in his arms. 

Dylan came out with Eva, as always; Freddie was still delighted that Dylan had made a best friend so quickly, overcoming all of the challenges of integrating into this new society. “Afternoon, darling.” He smiled and leaned down to hug Dylan. “How was your day, sweetheart?”

“Really good!” He beamed up at his father. “We learned some new letters today.”

“Well done, darling!” Freddie kissed his forehead. “You’ll have to teach me when we get home.”

“Is Eva coming with us today, Daddy?” He asked softly. Freddie glanced down at Eva, seeing that she was looking around for Jim; he had vaguely recognised that Jim hadn’t arrived yet when he was waiting, but he’d assumed he’d be waiting somewhere in the background by now.

Her lower lip trembled when she couldn’t see him, and Freddie could see the fear behind her eyes that he wasn’t going to come back for her. “Don’t worry, darling, your daddy is working a little later this evening, so you’re going to come with us for a little while.” He said comfortingly. He had no idea where Jim was that evening, but he hoped that he wouldn’t mind.

* * *

Jim burst in during the children’s dinner, making full use of the spare keys that Freddie had given him. “Eva-” He breathed out when he saw her at Freddie’s table, sharing the big armchair with Dylan. “Oh, thank God.”

“Daddy!” She leapt from the chair and ran for him, squealing when he picked her up and spun her around. “Daddy, where were you?”

“I had to work late, sweetness, I’m so sorry.” He rested his cheek against her hair. “Are you okay?”

She nodded and kissed his cheek. “Baba made biscuits with me and Dylan.”

“Baba?” Jim questioned, combing her messy hair from her face.

“It’s Dylan’s other name for me.” Freddie came out into the hallway, smiling at the sight of the little family in front of him. “He taught it to her. It means daddy in Persian.”

Jim cupped Freddie’s cheek and kissed him gently, chaste in front of the children. “Thank you so much for looking after her.” He said softly. “I couldn’t get out of the salon because someone double booked me and one of my clients was getting shitty because it’s her wedding tomorrow and so I couldn’t rearrange her appointment and my shift manager said that I had to stay to complete both of them.” He muttered disgustedly. “He asked why my wife couldn’t look after Eva.”

“Hey, it’s alright.” Freddie promised. “People don’t understand what it’s like, darling, but I understand. People don’t want to understand.” He pecked his lips again and smiled. “You’ve helped me out so much, it’s the least I can do.”

Eva went back to her dinner and Jim wrapped an arm around Freddie’s waist. “It’s not until you change things that you realise how unfulfilling your life was before.” He kissed Freddie’s temple. “It’s so nice to have someone I can depend on.”

Freddie wrapped his arms around Jim’s neck and smiled. “It’s a privilege to be depended upon.” He said sweetly. “Remember you said to tell you when my sister was going to have the kids? This Saturday.” 

Jim grinned and kissed him lightly. “I can do this Saturday. Sure she won’t mind?”

“She’s got two kids herself. Between all of us, we’ve basically got the full set. I’ve got the five-year-old, you’ve got four, she’s got three and two and I’ve got the newborn.” He joked. 

“I’m excited.” He gave Freddie’s butt a secret squeeze and winked. 

* * *

The stars sparkled low in the sky that evening, drawing pinpoints on the sky, reminiscent of light through the bedsheets when hidden under the covers as a child. They sat beneath a chandelier, two floors up from the busy London streets, watching through floor to ceiling windows.

Jim loved watching the way headlights from the street threw shadows onto Freddie’s face, illuminating the high points of his cheeks as he laughed loudly and openly. “No one’s ever taken me out on a cocktail date before.” He lifted his glass and smiled. “What did you say this was called?”

“Butter toffee old fashioned.” Jim grinned. “It’s whiskey-based.”

“It’s fucking gorgeous.” He took another sip and laughed. “And so strong! I feel like it’ll go straight to my head.”

“I assume you’re not much of a drinker?” Jim wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him in closer. 

“I was married before I could legally drink.” Freddie chuckled. “Dylan was nearly two by the time I could drink. I didn’t really have the time with a toddler around, and I couldn’t take anyone out on drinking dates before I got married.”

“How old were you when you got married, then?” Jim questioned. “You must have been young.”

“It was my sixteenth birthday, actually.” He laughed. “Mary was already pregnant, so it was kind of hurried. We’d been together for two years at that point.”

“That’s so young.” Jim squeezed his waist a little and smiled. “Were you happy?”

“Really happy. I really loved her at that point.” He shrugged. “And then I realised I prefer guys.”

Jim chuckled and leaned in, kissing him long and slow. “You know, I’m so glad I came over to say hello. I just got excited because you’re the only other dad I’ve ever seen in the playground.”

“And who would’ve thought this would happen?” Freddie crawled into his lap and kissed him again. “Who would’ve thought you’d meet the only other gay single dad in London?”

“Who just so happened to live across the square?” Jim grinned. “It was written in the stars. I think you were put in that tiny little flat by fate.”

“I still haven’t been to yours.” Freddie smiled shyly. “You’ve got the nice flat, haven’t you? The two-floor flat, not my couple of rooms.”

“Why don’t you come back to mine tonight?” Jim rested his hands on Freddie’s waist and grinned. “I promise I’ve tidied up all the toys.”

“That’s because you’ve spent most of your time at mine. Sometimes I forget that you don’t live with me.” Freddie kissed him again and giggled. “I’d like that. I can’t remember the last time someone took me home.”

“Oh, darling, it would be my pleasure.” Jim purred.

* * *

Jim would never forget the image of Freddie beneath him, legs slung haphazardly over his shoulders, moaning obscenely at the ceiling with his back arched towards the heavens. Jim would never forget the little whimpers as he curled his fingers, the high keening noises as he explored his body with lips and tongue, the gasps and moans as he swallowed him down, thick and hot on his tongue. Jim would never forget the way he cried out with ecstasy, the hot laughter against his neck as he came down from the high, the tremble in his legs.

“You’re gorgeous.” Jim murmured, trailing his knuckles back and forth over Freddie’s cheek. 

“You’re wonderful.” Freddie said sleepily, settled comfortably against his chest. “Thank you for taking me out tonight.”

“It’s been lovely.” Jim brought the blanket over both of them but Freddie yawned and sat up reluctantly. “Where are you going?” Jim whined, tightening his arm around Freddie.

“I need to shower.” Freddie chuckled. “I’ll ruin your sheets.”

“You won’t.” Jim insisted. “Stay and cuddle.”

“You don’t bottom.” Freddie laughed but lay down all the same. “Guys kick my ass if I don’t wash.”

“I don’t care about that shit.” Jim grinned and kissed his cheek. “I’m a gay man, it’s par for the course. I don’t trust guys that expect everyone to be squeaky clean.”

“My kind of man.” Freddie pressed his lips to the muscles of Jim’s chest. “Dirty-minded in the best way.”

“You’re a kinky little thing.” Jim chuckled and kissed him slowly. “Freddie?”

“Yes, darling?” He responded, tracing patterns on Jim’s side. 

“If I bought a crib, would you want to stay over here sometimes?” He asked softly. “It’s nice to have you in my home too.”

“Cribs are so expensive, darling, I wouldn’t expect you to do that.” Freddie shook his head. “I’m trying to keep Theo in his basket for as long as I can. I’m trying to save up for a crib for our house.” He kissed Jim’s cheek. “It’s lovely for you to offer, though.”

“I don’t mind, darling, honestly.” Jim kissed him softly. “Because I’ve already got a spare room in here that Dylan could sleep in, and I’m assuming you’d want to share a bed.” He smiled.

“You’ve really been thinking about this, haven’t you?” Freddie’s heart fluttered at the consideration Jim had given it. “I mean, it’s your money. I can’t stop you from accommodating me.” He smiled shyly.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Jim grinned.

* * *

“Where’s my little man?” Freddie asked as he stepped into the hallway of Kash’s house. “Where’s my darling little boy?”

“Baba!” He heard a little voice cry out and Dylan came running, throwing his arms around Freddie’s neck when he crouched to pick him up.

“Hello, sweetheart!” Freddie kissed his temple and hugged him tightly, spinning him around in the air. “Oh, darling, I missed you! Have you been good for Kash?”

“Very good.” Kash came out into the hallway with Theo in her arms and smiled. “Haven’t you, Dylan?”

“Very good.” He echoed and nodded. “I brushed my teeth all by myself this morning!”

“I didn’t even have to ask him.” Kash said proudly. “Why don’t you come in and have a coffee? Then we can have a catch-up and Dylan can finish his breakfast.”

“Sounds wonderful.” Freddie beamed at her and took Dylan into the kitchen, placing him back down into his chair and then taking Theo from Kash.

“How was your evening? Did you get all the art done you needed?” She asked him, flicking on the kettle to fill the cafetiere. “Nice and peaceful?”

“I wasn’t painting, actually, for once.” He smiled shyly and busied himself with tickling Theo’s tummy. “I went on a date.”

“You’re dating?” She asked excitedly. “Oh, don’t tell me you haven’t told her about the children, Freddie, that’s a disaster waiting to happen. What is she like? What did you do? Is she an expensive taste? How did you afford it?”

Freddie was a little taken aback by the bombardment of questions and laughed a little. “I- it wasn’t a she, actually.” He said shyly. 

“What?” She turned back to him quickly, face the picture of concern. “What do you mean?”

“I’m gay, Kash.” He rocked the baby a little. “I realised it a little while ago.”

She threw her arms around his neck. “I’m so glad you can be honest with yourself.” She kissed his cheek. “So, tell me about him. Does he know about the kids?”

Freddie was delighted by how easily she took the news. “Well, he’s two years older than me, and he’s Irish, and he’s got a four-year-old daughter.”

“Jim!” Dylan said happily, mouth crammed with toast. 

“Yes, darling.” Freddie chuckled. “We met in a playground, because his daughter pretty much adopted Dylan. They’re best friends, so he comes over a lot, and we have dinner together a lot. He helps me with the baby sometimes.”

“He sounds so sweet.” Kash said happily. “So what was your date?”

“He took me out for cocktails.” Freddie smiled bashfully. “And I stayed at his for the night. And yes, darling, I did on the first date.” He grinned into his mug as she handed him his coffee.

“Oh, gross, I don’t need to know that!” She laughed. “You seem happier now.”

“He really gets what it’s like to be on your own with a kid as a father.” He said, voice a little distant and dreamy. “Our families just feel like they’ve merged perfectly.”

“Does his daughter call him daddy?” She asked playfully. “Because you can’t both be daddy.”

Freddie burst out laughing, even more so when Theo squealed along with him. “The kids sorted that one out themselves. You might notice that Dylan isn’t calling me Daddy anymore. He’s calling me Baba now.”

“That’s adorable.” Kash smiled. “So he’s Daddy and you’re Baba?”

“Exactly.” Freddie kissed Theo’s smiling cheek. “If this all works out, that is.”

* * *

Jim was almost a little nervous to have the whole family over for once, but the house was growing quiet; Theo slept in his new cot in one of the spare rooms, Dylan in the other, Eva all tucked up in bed. Freddie, meanwhile, was taking the opportunity to shower when he didn’t have to worry about the baby.

Jim sat on the sofa, idly flicking through television channels, when Dylan stood nervously in the doorframe. “Daddy?” Dylan asked quietly.

Jim didn’t respond for a second, assuming he was looking for Freddie, and then softened a little. “Dylan, darling, are you okay?”

He shook his head and walked over to Jim, crawling into his lap and cuddling tight to him. “Daddy, there’s a spider.” He said quietly. “It’s big and fuzzy.”

His heart pounded with delight; he felt like he was being accepted by Dylan. “It’s okay, sweetness.” Jim promised and kissed his forehead. “I can get rid of it for you.”

The little boy nodded and clung to Jim. “Cuddle first.”

Jim wrapped his arms around Dylan and held him close. “I love you, Dyl.” He said quietly.

Dylan beamed up at Jim. “I love you too, Daddy.”


	4. Somebody to Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim just wants to help.

The silhouette cast by the dim lamplight was enough to put a smile on Jim’s face, despite the early hour of the morning; Freddie was sat up in the bed next to him, covers rucked around his waist, laughing ever-so-softly as Theo grabbed impatiently for his bottle. “You’re supposed to take breaks, darling!” Freddie whispered, patting his back gently. “You’d think I’d never fed you before.” His voice was light, amused, fond, as the baby got his way and latched back onto the bottle. Freddie settled back against the headboard, holding Theo closely, stroking his tiny little fingers with the pad of his thumb.

Jim reached over and lightly rested a hand on Freddie’s leg. It was moments like now that he realised how much his life had changed since he’d met Freddie; he was so used to living a little isolated from the rest of the world. He wasn’t used to a bright face on the pillow next to him in the morning, a warm cheek pressed to his chest, toiletries cluttering his bathroom and casual conversation about something other than cartoons and numbers and toys. He wasn’t used to soft kisses as he cooked, company in the evening over a few glasses of white wine, laughing and joking when one of them slipped on a rubber duck in the shower definitely not big enough for two.

“Sorry for waking you, darling.” Freddie murmured apologetically, smiling shyly. “Little one needed a bottle.”

“Don’t apologise.” Jim yawned and sat up, wrapping an arm around Freddie’s waist and pecking the top of his head. “He’s a hungry boy tonight.”

Freddie blushed at the affection and cuddled into Jim’s side. “I might need to start making him some bigger bottles. He’s just been having these little two-ounce bottles so far, so I might try and make a three or four-ounce one and see if he’s hungry for it.” He said softly.

“How do you know?” Jim asked, sounding a little naive. “Like, when he’s hungry. Because sometimes you feed him before he even starts crying and it’s not one of his regular feeding times.”

“He does this adorable little thing where he sucks on his fingers or his hand or tries to do the same with my fingers.” Freddie chuckled. “I find it really intuitive now. I did all of Dylan’s feedings when he was little, though his cues were a little different. He used to stick his tongue out at me.” He laughed.

Jim wrapped both arms around Freddie, wanting to bottle the sound of his laughter and listen to it forever and ever. “You’re such a good dad.” He smiled and dropped a kiss on the join between his shoulder and his neck. “I still feel like I’m stumbling through day by day, but you’ve got it all sorted.”

“I just learned not to get stressed out by it all.” He explained. “I was lucky that there’s such a big gap between my children. I couldn’t have done a toddler and a newborn at the same time. Because there’s a big gap, I can trust Dylan to behave if I have to feed or change or put Theo down to sleep.”

“I love watching you with Theo.” Jim admitted. “You’re such a natural with babies.”

“I just love him.” Freddie chuckled. “My little Teddy.”

* * *

His fingers faltered on the door handle as he stepped into his flat, the flat that Freddie was almost sharing by now, the little flat that had become a riot of noise and colour and laughter and happiness. He could hear Dylan and Eva murmuring to each other over colouring at the dining table, he could hear the happy noises Theo made, he could hear the sound of sheets being shaken out as Freddie changed the beds.

More than anything, he could hear Freddie singing.

It was distracted singing, something to pass the time as he cleaned, but his voice was gorgeously strong, powerful and passionate, loud and clear and occasionally descending into laughter when he hit parts of a song he clearly couldn’t sing single-handedly. Jim closed the door as quietly as he could, not wanting to disturb him, but Freddie’s voice cut off abruptly with the click of the lock.

“Evening, darling!” He called down the stairs, emerging from the upstairs bedroom with dust clinging to his clothes. “How was work?” He jogged down the stairs quickly and dropped a kiss on his cheek.

They hadn’t talked about what this was, exactly, but Jim didn’t know if he could deal with going back to a quiet house again. 

Jim snapped himself out of his trance and smiled, pulling Freddie into a proper kiss. “Well, darling-” He stole another kiss quickly, enjoying the feeling of Freddie’s little body against his own. “I never like working late, but it’s nice to have something so pretty to come home to.”

Freddie smacked his thigh playfully. “You flatter me.” He chuckled. “I’ve done a bit of a clean up for you, and I put some clean sheets on your bed for tonight.” He said with a sweet smile.

“Are you staying over tonight?” Jim asked, keeping both hands on his waist.

“If you want me to.” Freddie said bashfully. “I don’t mean to invade your space.”

“Oh, darling, it’s not invading!” Jim kissed his forehead. “I always want you to stay over.”

“I’ll have to go and get a few things, then.” Freddie hummed. “You’re nearly out of formula and I need to sterilise a few more bottles for tonight. I got behind because I was painting, and Teddy got grumpy earlier because he had to wait for the water to cool.” He rested his head on Jim’s shoulder, just enjoying their closeness.

Jim smiled and kissed his temple. “Were you singing when I came in?” He asked, though he knew the answer.

“Sorry, darling, I’m awfully loud.” He apologised automatically. “I wasn’t thinking. I must have disturbed the neighbours.”

“You can hardly call it disturbing them. Your voice is incredible.” Jim took one of his hands and kissed the back of it gently. “You should record something.”

“Recording studios are remarkably expensive, darling.” Freddie brushed off the compliment with a little blush. All his life, his voice had merely been an inconvenience. “Besides, who would sign someone with two young children?”

* * *

Freddie snuggled up underneath his arm and smiled up at him. “That was a lovely gig, darling, thank you for taking me.” He said softly. “Did you say you knew these guys?”

“Passing acquaintances.” Jim squeezed his waist and smiled. “I’ve done the drummer’s hair a couple of times, so I got to know them a little. They’ve been on the pub and small venue circuit for about a year now, and the music isn’t bad, so it can be nice to come out and support them sometimes.”

They wandered past a van and noticed the drummer and the guitarist loading equipment into the back - Freddie, forever the loveable stranger, tugged Jim over. “Really enjoyed the gig.” He smiled sweetly at the guitarist, notable for the long curls that Freddie wanted to try and draw. 

“Thanks.” He huffed half-heartedly; Freddie was a little taken aback and surprised. “Might be the last one.”

“Why?” He asked softly. “Did something happen?”

“Singer packed up and left.” The blonde sat on the floor of the van and opened a beer. “And there isn’t really any band without him.”

“Can’t you get someone new?” He asked shyly. “Surely you must have people interested?”

“Got any suggestions?” He asked, without humour. 

“You should hear Freddie sing.” Jim added, and Freddie hit him playfully.

“That’s not what this is about!” He squeaked, but the guitarist cocked an interested eyebrow. 

“Go on, then.” He shrugged. “I’ll hear anything at this point.”

Jim gave his hand an encouraging squeeze and Freddie wetted his lips a little before he started to sing. Both men stopped their packing and paused, listening to him, momentarily awed: his voice was gorgeous, strong if a little underused, bold and technical and daring.

“I wasn’t expecting much.” The blonde admitted. “But that’s- your voice is gorgeous.”

“Do you write songs?” The guitarist asked; both men were suddenly fixated on having him in the band. 

“Yes.” Freddie smiled shyly. “That was one of my own.”

The guitarist wrote down a number on a piece of paper and smiled. “Call us when you’re free. It’d be good to jam sometimes.”

* * *

Freddie tapped his pen against the dining table, scrawling different sets of numbers on a sheet of blank paper. His neck was aching from being leant over, and Jim could feel from across the room that was getting increasingly stressed. He sat down next to him and rested a hand on his upper back, frowning a little. “Are you okay, honey?” He asked softly.

“I just can’t make the money stretch.” He sounded so defeated, and it made Jim’s heart ache. “I’ve got twenty-five pounds left. That’s it.”

Jim rubbed his back soothingly. “What are you working out?”

“If I scrub my flat clean, I can get my deposit back, which is about thirteen grand. If I move up to somewhere like Manchester or Leeds then my rent can be about six hundred a month instead of the two thousand I’m paying at the moment.” He rubbed his forehead. “But I don’t want to move Dyl away from school when he’s finally settled in.”

“I don’t want you to move.” Jim said softly. “What about the band?”

“I don’t want to move.” Freddie sighed. “But I can barely afford formula anymore even if I go hungry. If I cut down to one meal a day, I’ve still got to feed Dyl and pay my bills.”

“Move in with me.” Jim said softly. “I own this house, you don’t need to worry about rent or anything. Stay with me.”

“We’re not even together officially.” Freddie said quietly. “And what happens when you get sick of listening to the baby cry at night and we start arguing and then I end up trapped in a house where you don’t want me?”

“Hey-” Jim cupped his cheek. “Darling, breathe. We’re not going to repeat what happened with Mary.” He promised. “You know I love children, sweetheart, and I love Dylan and Theo. I don’t want to argue you with you.”

“We’re not even together.” Freddie repeated quietly. “What if you want to bring someone home?”

Jim pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Freddie Mercury, will you be my boyfriend?” He asked, a playful smile on his face. 

“I hate you.” Freddie said, but he was smiling as he wrapped his arms around Jim’s neck again. “Are you sure? You don’t have to do it for my sake.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Jim smiled. “Darling, I love you.”

“I love you too.” He smiled shyly, melting into the hand on his waist and on his cheek - the hands of his boyfriend, of someone who loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on holiday for the next week so there won't be any updates across any fics - see you soon!
> 
> Also - are you guys enjoying this fic? Because the comments are minimal and that's making me v sad :((


	5. Jellycat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK KIDS

Jim stroked the baby-soft skin of Theo’s cheek as Freddie curled up beside him, head resting against his shoulder. They’d all but moved into Jim’s little flat by now, the family of five getting used to bumping into one another; Jim was getting used to sharing the sink with a sleepy Freddie in the morning, was getting used to cooking for four instead of two, was getting used to a hot cheek pressed against his chest in the middle of the night. Freddie was getting used to someone else able to feed the baby if he needed to shower or change or eat, was getting used to washing paint off two little pairs of hands and changing two little beds and helping smooth out Eva’s hair before Jim could see that she’d lost another little hair clip.

Theo wriggled impatiently and Freddie tickled him lightly, chuckling to himself. “He knows it’s tummy time.” He said softly. “He’s an active little one. He’ll probably be an earlier crawler, the complete opposite of his brother.”

Jim chuckled and kissed Freddie’s temple. “Where’s his mat?”

“Over here.” He opened a box and lay it out on the floor. “I love this new one. It’s so soft.”

“It’s shaped like a teddy bear!” Jim grinned and carefully lay Theo down on his tummy on the mat. “I’m glad he seems to like me.”

“If we-” Freddie blushed bashfully and glanced at his feet. “If we do stay together, then you’ll be all he can remember. He’ll never question having two fathers like Dylan has.”

“Dylan has?” Jim echoed curiously, pulling Freddie against his chest as they watched Dylan crinkle a little toy elephant between his fingers. “That’s strange, Eva’s never questioned it.”

“You have to remember that he was four when Mary and I split up. He has about two years where he can remember us being together, and so he was- indoctrinated, I guess, into that heteronormative ideal of mummy and daddy.” Freddie spoke a little bitterly, and Jim chuckled. “So he questioned a lot why I was in love with another man.”

“Big words.” Jim kissed the back of his neck. “Is he okay with it now?”

“Very.” Freddie smiled. “I think he can tell I’m much happier, and because you help with Theo I’ve got more time to play trains or colour or dance with him. I think he feels like he’s gotten his daddy back now.” He leaned up and kissed Jim’s cheek. “He talks about you all the time, you know. He told my sister all about you and your hairdressing and your moustache and your cooking and Eva and how you always do the bubble baths just right.”

Jim laughed delightedly. “Eva was telling my mother about you. About your pretty voice and the lullabies you sing and the way you redo her hair so I don’t see it when it’s all messy.”

“Are you happier now?” Freddie asked shyly, resting a soft palm against the hands clasped around his waist. “Honestly, darling, not just what you think I want to hear.”

“I can’t explain to you how much happier I am.” Jim took his hand and squeezed it lightly. “I can’t explain what it’s like to wake up next to you in the morning and get ready for work while I watch you sleeping in the warm part of the blankets I’ve left behind. I can’t explain what it’s like to give the kids their breakfast while you warm up a bottle and the sleep still clings to your eyelashes.” He smiled and breathed out a small laugh. “Coming up to the school playground and seeing you leaning against the wall in those sunglasses and knowing that I’m allowed to drop everything just to kiss you, knowing that you’ll kiss me back, knowing that it makes you smile as much as it does me.”

“I love watching you get changed or shave while I’m waking up.” Freddie smiled. “I love the little scratch on my chin when you haven’t shaved properly. I love having a daughter with her hair plaited in ribbons who wants to sit with me when I’m reading in the evenings. I love the way Eva wants to know all about the story even when it’s completely age-inappropriate.”

Jim laughed as he watched Theo, completely absorbed in touching the mirror by his face, discovering the smoothness of the texture and the reflection of his fingers. “I really love you, Freddie.” He said softly. “I’m so damn lucky to have someone as incredible as you are.”

“You’re getting soft.” Freddie said playfully, kneeling up and straddling Jim’s lap to kiss him lightly. “I love you too, my darling. There was me, sitting and drinking tea on my own, thinking no one would ever want some confused twenty-something with two kids and emotional baggage and a completely naive viewpoint of the world.”

“I don’t think you’re naive.” Jim leaned back amongst the cushions as Freddie pushed him down playfully. “You’re like the children, you’re not weary and cynical like the rest of us. It’s so refreshing, sweetheart, you’re not one of those people that thinks being overly negative makes you interesting. You believe in magic and you believe in love and you believe in the innate good of people and I want to believe in all those things too.”

“I believe that everyone has the potential to be happy.” Freddie smiled. “I believe in chance and I believe in humouring things brought about by fate, like when a handsome Irishman sits down next to you on a park bench on a terribly stressful day and your head tells you to give him the shove because you’re tired and your heart says to offer him a coffee.”

Jim wrapped his arms around Freddie’s neck and kissed him softly. “I’ve felt different since the first day I met you. People have such a tendency to complain about every little aspect of life, but I was struck by your complete belief that you have a wonderful life. I was struck by your refusal to be negative.”

“People are attracted to positivity. People like confidence, positivity and conviction. People want to be around others that uplift them.” He tilted his head back as Jim kissed down his neck. “I was struck by you because you were so calm and collected.”

“It’s the art of not giving a fuck.” Jim laughed against his pulse point and Freddie shivered. “Because I believe in chance too. I believe in taking your chances when they’re presented, and not dwelling on it if things don’t turn out the way you want, because sometimes you have to take a series of chances to get to where you’re meant to be.”

Freddie smiled and glanced over his shoulder when Theo started to laugh, batting at a rattle that hung from the canopy of his mat. “I love you so much.” He said again, finally managing to capture him in another kiss.

* * *

Jim’s eyes are drawn inexplicably to Freddie, watching everything and nothing, fixated on shape and colour and shadow and sparkle that he’s never seen in his lover before. He looks like a smudge of colour on canvas, the diamonds on his leotard reflecting all the colours under the rainbow in the low, smoky air of the club. Most of his chest is on show, hot and shining with sweat that Jim wants to lick, wants to taste that most animalistic part of him; somewhere at the back of his mind he wonders if it tastes the same as when they make love, Freddie’s wrists bound to the bedposts and sharp cries echoing from the ceiling as Jim discovers each part of his body with a curious mouth.

His energy is so sexual onstage, completely unexpected, rolling hips and grinding against guitars and playing with the audience, toying with them, teasing them with calls and answers; he should be mocked by them, by people too haughty to play up to his games in this part of London, but he has them in the palm of his hand. He twists his wrist, and he squeezes, and they moan as easily as Jim does, the literal and the figurative.

He already knows how the night is going to end, fingers gripping sinks and the hasty silence of teeth in skin, hips snapping and skin against skin, hot gasps and quietened shrieks and the insatiability of the man that he’s honoured to call his boyfriend. He readjusts his jeans and takes another sip of the lager in his hand, and he doesn’t even pretend not to stare.

* * *

“Any more boxes?” Jim laughed as Freddie emerged from the bathroom, a blush over his cheeks. “There’s got to be at least a hundred here.”

“Oh, don’t.” Freddie shook his head. “I haven’t even packed up my bedroom yet, let alone managed to get the boxes out.”

“Want some help?” Jim offered. “I can pack up some stuff.”

“Thank you.” Freddie smiled breathlessly. “If you could just shove the stuff from my bedroom in, that would be great. I’ve done the wardrobe, and leave the bedsheets.” He leaned over and kissed his cheeks briefly. “You’re a wonder.”

Jim quickly packed up some of the extras in his room, chuckling at how well they represented Freddie as a person; a silk blanket, a pack of condoms, a toy elephant, a worry doll and a potted plant. He grabbed a box from beneath his bed, checking the contents quickly: books, notebooks, a pack of pens and some sheet music, and put it inside the bigger box. He picked up the next box, opened it, and then paused.

“Freddie fucking Bulsara!” He called out, laughing to himself. “You kinky bastard!”

Freddie looked around the door and gasped, cheeks flushing scarlet. “Shit!” He squeaked. “I- I mean, I-”

Jim laughed and walked over, kissing him slow and deep. “How do you even take something that big?”

“It’s kind of my thing.” Freddie said shyly, but he was encouraged by the kiss.

“Here I was, worrying about fucking breaking you.” Jim chuckled and kissed him again. “And you use that on yourself.”

“What am I supposed to do when I can’t go out?” Freddie pouted up at him. “Before I met you, I was practically locked in the house on my own in the evenings. A man has needs.”

Jim grinned wickedly. “I’ll have to try something like this on you myself.”

“You don’t dare.” Freddie teased. “I don’t think you’ve got the guts.”

“You think I’ve never done this before?” Jim replied, kissing his lower lip. 

“You have?” He asked curiously. “Maybe I’m not the only kinky one.”

“Maybe not, darling.” He grinned playfully.

* * *

“It’s animal day on Thursday.” Eva’s lower lip wobbled as she tugged at Freddie’s hand. “Baba, I don’t have an animal like Dyl.”

Dylan had always loved his stuffed animals, creating a small zoo of animals from lemurs and seals to teddy bears and dragons. Their flat was littered with toys on the dining table, on the sofa, on each and every bed, even on the bathroom counter. Eva, though, had never been especially interested in stuffed animals until she’d seen Dylan’s, and she’d been too shy to ask Jim for one since.

Freddie crouched down and hugged her. “Would you like to go and get one, princess?” He asked softly. “We can go to the shop together.”

She nodded eagerly. “Please, Baba!”

“Don’t tell your daddy.” He smiled. “We’ll surprise him.”

When Jim came over to them, Dylan ran obediently over to him, smiling with the knowledge that he was helping keep their secret. “Daddy, can we play trains?” He asked hopefully. “I don’t want to do boring shopping with Baba.”

“Baba is going shopping?” He asked curiously. “Is that true, Freddie?”

“We’re going shopping for some special little girl things.” Freddie leaned over and kissed Jim’s cheek. “I thought you wouldn’t mind looking after the boys for an hour.”

They’d both been speaking about how nice it would be to bond with the other’s children naturally, and Freddie thought he could monopolise on it.

“It would be my pleasure. When was Theo last fed?” Jim took the baby and bounced him slowly.

“Midday.” Freddie took Eva’s hand. “It was a big bottle, but he’ll probably want more before long. He’s got some bottles made up in the fridge.”

“You’re a star.” Jim kissed him softly and squeezed his waist playfully with a wink. “I’ll see you in a little while, then.”

* * *

Eva’s eyes lit up, a look Freddie had seen before in a sweet shop that he and Jim had treated the children to a while ago. “Baba, I love it!” She held his hand tightly, squeezing it tightly. “I like the pink one.”

Freddie lifted the pink bear down from the shelf and handed it to her. “This one, sweetheart?”

She hugged it tightly, resting her cheek against the soft fluff and smiling to herself. “Bubblegum.” She told him. “Bubblegum bear.”

“That’s a wonderful name!” Freddie smiled. “Would you like to help me choose one for Dylan?”

Eva took her role very seriously, hugging Bubblegum the whole time, and paused when she came to a huge rack of Jellycat toys. She ran her fingers over the softness and squealed when she saw a bunny hugging the end of a blanket. “This one’s a bunny and a blankie!” She told Freddie excitedly. “Dyl likes his blankie.”

“This is the best of both.” Freddie beamed at her. “That’s a brilliant choice, darling.”

* * *

“Where have you been?” Jim asked with a chuckle, looking at the bag in Freddie’s hand. “Is that a new toy, darling?” He asked Eva.

Eva showed him the pink bear and beamed up at Jim. “Bubblegum!” She told him, letting him feel the softness for himself.

“We took a little trip to Harrods. Something a little special.” Freddie put the bag with Dylan’s on the table. “They have an animal day at school and Eva was a little shy to ask you in case you thought it was too little.”

“Bless her.” Jim placed the bear back in her hands. “A proper little Harrods bear, too.”

“Only the best.” Freddie chuckled. “I bought Theo a nice baby blanket, too. And this, for Dylan.” He showed Jim the bunny and blanket. “Dylan, darling?” He called out.

Dylan came running and gasped when Freddie held out the toy for him. “For me, Baba?”

“For you.” Freddie leaned down and cuddled him. “You can snuggle the blanket and the bear.”

His little face beamed up at him. “Thank you!” He squealed.

Eva looked delighted, and she smiled over at him. “I picked it!” She told him.

Dylan ran over and hugged her tightly. “You’re my best friend ever!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a month to finish this, Fluorescent, Incandescent, Iridescent, Proclivity, Hospitality and Within the Golden Hour and man, that's a challenge!
> 
> (Yes, there are two unpublished fics in this list - coming soon!)


	6. In Sickness and in Health

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's just a little wiped out.

Jim couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of Freddie, bundled up in sweatpants that most definitely did not fit him, bouncing petulantly at the end of the bed. He was more reminiscent of one of the children than of the man Jim had fallen in love with, hair loose and curls brushing his ears, cheeks pinkened, lower lip stuck out in a pout.

“I can’t believe you’re ignoring me.” Freddie huffed and crossed his arms. “I can’t believe you’d invite me to live in your house, look after my children, feed me, get me a job, even-”

“Freddie!” Jim laughed and put his book down. “Baby, I’m not ignoring you. I’m just not a mind reader, and you haven’t actually told me what you want.”

“I want a fucking cat, Hutton.” Freddie said, very seriously. “Can we get a cat?”

“If I say yes, will you let me read in peace?” Jim arched a sarcastic eyebrow. “You go and find us a cat, and I’ll look after it and let it live here. Is that a deal?”

Freddie looked shocked that he’d gotten his way so easily. “Really?” He asked hopefully.

“Yes, really.” Jim rolled his eyes and held out an arm for him. “Come here, asshole.”

“If I have to, bell-end.” Freddie quickly wriggled into place against his chest and smiled happily. “I want a black one, and I want it to be fluffy. I’ve been promising Dylan a cat for years.”

Jim kissed his forehead and picked his book back up. “Then we’ll get a cat, princess.”

Freddie settled into reading along with Jim; he spent so much time against his chest as he read that he could follow the plot of the book himself. He found it endearing that Jim would always surreptitiously check that he’d finished the page before he turned over, the way he’d always pause to explain words that Freddie asked him about; he’d never been a big reader, but he’d come to enjoy these moments of silence with his lover.

At the same time, though, he loved to ruin the moment.

“I’m going to grow a moustache.” He said definitively, looking up at Jim. “I like yours too much.”

Jim chuckled. “Why not a full beard?” He questioned, picking up his bookmark and putting the book aside; it was clear that Freddie was too chatty that evening to focus.

“Are you fucking with me?” Freddie arched an eyebrow. “No one wears a full beard at the moment. Besides, it makes me look more Parsi than is strictly necessary, and I’m trying to blend in.”

“Shall I trim it for you when it’s grown out a bit?” Jim offered, cupping his cheek and tilting his face up a little. “I think it’ll look lovely on you, darling.”

Freddie’s cheeks warmed with delight and he leaned in to kiss him. “I’m feeling an image shake up. A lot more sequins and a lot more glitter.” He grinned. “I mean, the leather looks good on stage, but I’m just feeling a little more- a little more, you know?” He laughed.

“I vote more leotards.” Jim gripped his waist as Freddie straddled his lap. “I think more red. Maybe some silver. You want to go for complementary colours for your skin tone.”

“Didn’t realise I was getting a stylist as well as a boyfriend.” Freddie smirked and kissed over his jawline and down his neck. “God, I want to mark you.” He murmured, kissing over his Adam’s apple.

“Don’t you dare.” Jim tilted his head back, his body betraying him. “They’ll kill me if I turn up to work covered in bruises.”

“You can borrow a turtleneck.” Freddie murmured, nipping lightly and feeling the jump of Jim’s hips.

“Won’t fit.” He said distractedly, leaning down to squeeze his ass.

“Fuck off.” Freddie rolled his eyes. “We’re practically the same size, darling.” He kissed over Jim’s pulse point and hummed out a little moan as he rolled their hips together. “Fine, a scarf then.” He suggested when Jim showed no hint of budging.

“Fine.” Jim gave in, gasping as Freddie immediately locked his lips just above his collarbone, rolling the soft skin between his teeth until Jim was practically panting.

Freddie was quick to strip him down, never ceasing the attack on his neck, then his chest, then his stomach, his hip bones, lower, lower, lower-

Jim grabbed his hair and Freddie glanced up, smirking back at him. “What do you think about fur?”

* * *

Jim woke up to a cold bed, the crib beside him empty; he frowned and leaned up on his elbows, scanning the empty room. He yawned and leaned over the bed, grabbing a sweater and a pair of boxers from the floor. He’d started wearing the same outfits as Freddie, jealous of how comfortable he always look, proud of himself and his own skin. He got dressed and stepped out of the bedroom, listening for any sign of life around the house. “Freddie?” He called.

He heard crying, and anxiety immediately ate at him; Freddie never let the children cry for long before he was cheering them up, doting on them, and these sobs were panicked and drawn out. He ran down the stairs to find Freddie in the lounge, exhaustedly bouncing Theo in his arms, trying so hard to calm him down. Worry was plastered across his face, and he looked so tired, and Jim immediately felt protective of the both of them.

“Darling-” Jim walked over to them, wrapped an arm around Freddie’s waist, and frowned. He forgot all about the baby momentarily: Freddie was hot, so hot, and his skin was much too pale. “Freddie, you’re burning up.”

“I can’t make him stop.” Freddie sounded as though he were about to cry himself. “He’s got colic, he’s been crying half the night, I tried not to wake you-”

“Hey-” Jim said softly. “Baby, it’s okay. Why don’t you give him to me?”

Freddie handed him over and sat down on the edge of the sofa. “I don’t know how to make him stop.” He whimpered. “It’s so bad, Jim, Dylan was never like this, I have to be doing something wrong-”

Jim held Theo over his shoulder and patted his back gently; the baby dribbled down his back, but started to calm regardless. “You’re not doing anything wrong, darling.” He said gently. “Freddie, you’re sick, you need help with him.”

“I’m fine!” He insisted, reaching for Theo again, who immediately screamed. Freddie could’ve cried, feeling as though he was being rejected by his own son; infantile tears pricked at his own eyes.

“Hey-” Jim said quietly, sitting down beside him and wrapping his free arm around Freddie. “Hey, just calm down, darling, please.”

Freddie took a few shaky breaths. “I’m sorry.” He said quietly. “I’m just frustrated and I shouldn’t take it out on the both of you.”

Theo lay against Jim’s chest, finally quiet, and Freddie leaned against him. “What’s frustrating you, sweetheart?” Jim asked gently.

“I don’t feel well.” He admitted. “I think I’ve got some chest infection but I can’t afford a doctor’s visit. I’m scared I’ve given it to Theo.”

“Darling-” Jim hummed and pulled him in closer. “You don’t have to pay, this is England.”

“I do.” Freddie whispered. “Because my visa isn’t valid anymore, I had to pay the surcharge, but I couldn’t afford it. Now I have to pay for it.”

“Why isn’t your visa valid?” Jim kissed his forehead, trying to soothe his mind a little. 

“I’m not married anymore. It’s a family visa.” He sighed. “I’m scared they’ll take the children and send me back. I like it here.”

“I like you here. You make the world a happier place.” Jim smiled. “I’ll see if I can get you some medicine. I could always take Theo for an appointment if you get really worried.”

Freddie started to smile, though it was shy and unsure. “I just can’t believe I’ve let it all spiral like this.” He admitted, a little ashamed.

“We’ll sort it out, sweetness.” Jim promised. “And we’ll start today. I’ll bring the Moses basket down here, and you can go upstairs and get some sleep. You’re no fun when you’re grouchy.”

“You’ve got work.” He protested weakly, but the idea of a few hours of unbroken sleep after nearly a week of being continuously awake for Theo. He started coughing, leaning forward to ease the pressure on his chest, and Jim rubbed his back gently. 

“I want to look after my family.” Jim said soothingly. “If my boyfriend and my baby are sick, then I’m going to look after you, darling, of course I am.”

Freddie closed his eyes, resting against him. “I’m just- I’m so used to trying to do everything on my own.”

“I know, darling.” Jim soothed. “You don’t have to do that anymore. How about you go back to bed, I’ll settle Theo down here, and then I’ll take Eva and Dylan to school?” He suggested. “And then we can have a little morning nap together.”

“Sounds perfect.” He smiled tiredly and stood up, taking Theo when the baby stretched up his little hands to Freddie. “Daddy’s sorry for getting cross, baby.” He said gently. “It’s not your fault that your tummy hurts.” He kissed Theo’s forehead and rocked him, watching as his little eyelids started to droop. “I’ll settle him, darling, you go and check on the kids and see if they’re up.”

Jim nodded and jogged up the stairs, opening the door to the children’s bedroom. “Good morning, darlings!” He opened the curtains, and immediately rushed over to Dylan. He was close to tears, having been sick, and he was shaking with nerves. “Oh, sweetheart, come here.” He said soothingly, opening his arms for his son.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” He whimpered, but crawled into Jim’s arms regardless. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry-”

“Darling, you don’t have to be sorry.” Jim promised, picking him up and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll give you to Baba, okay, and he can help you get nice and clean and dry, and I’ll make your room clean again.” He said softly. “Eva, darling, can you go and brush your teeth in my bathroom, please?”

“Yes, Daddy.” She hugged his leg and grabbed her toothbrush from the main bathroom, running into the bedroom where Freddie was to use the bathroom. “Baba, Dylan’s poorly.”

Freddie looked over at her quickly. “Oh, sweetheart, thank you for telling me.” He lay Theo down in his crib and leaned down to give her a soft kiss on the forehead. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She smiled and hugged him, resting her little head on his shoulder. “I love you, Baba.”

“Love you too, sweetness.” Freddie chuckled as she ran out of the room, checking once on Theo before walking over into the children’s bedroom. “Where’s my little man?”

Dylan whimpered and hid in Jim’s neck, frightened of being ill around Freddie. Back in India, it had always been Freddie who had worked once Dylan was old enough; he would work whenever he was at nursery, and so his mother had to care for them whenever they were sick. His mother had a tendency to punish them for sickness, and so he immediately associated failure and fear with illness. “Hey, sweetheart.” Freddie softened his voice and walked over to them, resting a hand on Dylan’s back. “Show me your face, darling.”

He looked up, a little nervous, but relaxed when he saw Freddie’s gentle smile. “Shall we get you cleaned up, sweetheart?” He offered.

Dylan nodded shyly and Jim carefully handed him over to Freddie. “I’ll drop Eva off at school.” He said and kissed Freddie softly. “It’ll be a day with the boys, today.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” Freddie took Dylan into the bathroom and ran a warm bath, carefully helping him take off his pajamas. “Does anything hurt except your tummy?” He asked softly.

“No, Daddy.” Dylan said shyly. “I’m sorry.”

Freddie rolled up his sleeves and lifted Dylan into the bath. “You don’t have to be sorry, sweetheart. I’m not very well either.” He said softly. “So I think we should get all cleaned up, and then we can have a lie down together, how does that sound?”

Dylan nodded tiredly as Freddie washed his hair quickly and methodically. He was out of the bath in record time, into some clean pajamas, and they both brushed their teeth together; by the time Jim got home, they were curled up together in his and Freddie’s bed, and all three boys were fast asleep.

Freddie opened an eye when Jim came in, bag in hand, and sat up tiredly as he came over to the bed. “I bought a couple of things.” He smiled and sat beside Freddie, pulling him in closer. “I bought you some decongestants, to help you clear up your chest, I bought Dyl some kids’ paracetamol because it’s supposed to help bring down a fever, and-” He looked so proud of himself, and Freddie kissed him softly. “I found colic drops.”

“Colic drops?” Freddie took the box and looked them over. “How do they work?”

“They’re supposed to relieve the pressure in his tummy.” Jim said softly. “We’ll have to try them before his next feed.”

“Thank you.” Freddie smiled and rubbed his eyes. He glanced over at Theo, who was laying awake in his basket, sucking on his fist; he hadn’t taken any breakfast because of his crying, and Freddie pulled himself up to stand. “I think he’s hungry now.”

“Sit down.” Jim kissed his forehead. “I’ll bring the bottle and the baby to you.”

Freddie lay back against the headboard and took Theo in his arms; he laughed a little when he kept trying to suck on Freddie’s fingers. “Soon, darling.” He promised, kissing his forehead. 

“Daddy?” Dylan asked sleepily, curling up into his father’s side. “Daddy, I’m cold.”

Freddie lifted another blanket over Dylan and smoothed his hair back from his forehead. When Jim came back into the room, Freddie looked over at him and smiled shyly. “Darling, can you feed Theo for me, please?” He asked hopefully.

Feeding Theo was a treat for Jim: he loved to spend time with the baby. He hadn’t told Freddie, trying not to intrude on the relationship Freddie had with his son, but he got excited every time he had a chance to do a feed. “Of course I can.” He smiled, trying not to look too excited. “Want me to try the drops?”

“Please.” Freddie pulled Dylan into his lap as soon as Jim took the baby, holding him closely as he shivered. “Can you take some medicine for me, darling?”

Dylan nodded tiredly and Freddie grabbed the box, quickly pouring the medicine into a measuring spoon and giving it to his son. He took it warily, but he relaxed when he realised the taste wasn’t so bad, and swallowed the second spoon easily.

Freddie almost couldn’t believe how easy he was being.

“Thank you, darling.” Freddie breathed a sigh of relief and glanced over at Theo, who was eating greedily. “Please remember to wind him.” He said shyly.

Jim took the bottle away when he took a break and winded him gently. “Two good boys.” He leaned over and kissed Freddie’s cheek. “Now be good and take yours, too.”

Freddie grabbed his tablets and his water bottle and swallowed a couple. “Remind me how many children you have?” He joked, looking up at Jim with love behind his eyes.

“Four, apparently.” Jim chuckled. “I didn’t sign up for this, but it’s worked out wonderfully.”

Freddie closed his eyes and rested against him. “I love you so much.” He said softly. 

“I love you too.” Jim kissed his forehead. “I thought of a way to get around your visa problem, too. It’s a bit extreme, though.”

“Hmm?” He asked sleepily. “Anything, at this point.”

Jim swallowed quickly and glanced over at him. “Let’s get engaged.”


	7. Diamonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation.

“Pardon?” Freddie spluttered, looking up quickly. “What did you just say?”

“Let’s get engaged.” Jim shrugged. “Your visa is valid, you can claim help with money, you can use all the healthcare for free, and they won’t send you back.”

“You’ve known me for a month.” Freddie looked completely dumbfounded. “We can’t get married. What if we split up? Then I have all these problems again.”

“I never said we have to get married.” Jim pointed out. “If we decide to split up, you apply for another visa, and we stay engaged until your application is done.”

“You’ve really thought this through.” Freddie turned a little more shy and glanced up at him. “What if we do want to get married one day?”

“Then I’ll propose to you properly.” Jim smiled and kissed his cheek. “And I’ll buy you a proper ring.”

“Do I get a ring now?” He asked curiously. 

Jim handed him the baby and stood up, looking through his drawer of cufflinks and rings until he found a box at the back. “Try this one.” He handed the box over and watched as Freddie revealed the diamond inside. “My grandma gave it to me to give to my fiancé, so it’s yours.”

Freddie slipped it onto his finger and smiled shyly. “God, this isn’t how I ever thought I’d be proposed to.”

“I’ll do it properly when the time is right.” He repeated and kissed his cheek gently. “I’ll make it romantic. I’ll take you out for dinner or something like that.”

“I look forward to it.” Freddie stretched out his hand and watched the glint of the diamond in the low light of the bedroom. “Can I tell people we’re engaged?”

“If you want to.” Jim chuckled and carefully put Theo down in his crib so Freddie could rest. “Now you’re making me wish I’d proposed properly. I didn’t realise you’d be so excited.” He lay down and tugged Freddie down next to him.

Dylan took Freddie’s hand and looked at the ring. “Pretty.”

“It is.” Freddie lay beside Jim and tugged Dylan closer to him, resting his cheek in his son’s soft hair. “It’s a special ring. It means that Daddy and I love each other very much.” He explained.

“I like Daddy.” Dylan said sleepily. “I like Daddy more than Mummy.”

“Do you miss Mummy, darling?” Freddie asked softly. “Because she can always come and see you.”

Dylan shook his head immediately. “Don’t like Mummy. Like Daddy.” He wriggled his way in between Freddie and Jim and rested his head on Jim’s pillow. “Love you, Daddy.”

“Love you too, little man.” Jim smiled and kissed his forehead. “You know, I never realised how much I’d love having a son. I was always besotted on the idea of having a daughter, but your boys are just the best.” He took Freddie’s hand and interlocked their fingers. “You’re such a good father to them.”

Freddie’s cheeks pinkened and he smiled delightedly. “I’m trying my best.” He said shyly. “It’s really hard sometimes. I think we’re all happier and healthier now than we’ve ever been.” He kissed Dylan’s head and chuckled. “Ironically.”

“I love all of my boys the way you are.” Jim leaned over and kissed Freddie gently. “Even if you’re all sick and gross.”

“Not my fault.” Freddie chuckled and closed his eyes. “It’s incredible how much just relaxing can make a difference. I feel like I’ve been frantic ever since Dyl was born, and now I can just relax. I have more time to spend with the kids, time to spend with you, and proper time to spend with the baby.”

Every one of Freddie’s words lit up a different part of Jim; to know how much of an impact he had truly had was so rewarding. Ever since he’d met Freddie, he’d always had the image of a steadfast, loving father in his mind, a man who was never late to pick up Dylan from school and always had the time to sit down and read with him in the evenings, even if he did have to lay the baby over one shoulder as he did. To know the reality of it, the uncertainty of his position, the fear and stress of his fatherhood, and to know that he was the one to remedy it; he found it endlessly rewarding. 

“Eva has certainly changed since you came to live with us.” Jim admitted. “I think she looks up to you almost as a mother figure. You’re a little more feminine than me, and so she reacts differently to you. She’s always been a little tomboy, but she’s been more affectionate towards me because she’s started modelling your behaviour.”

“Poor child.” Freddie joked, squealing when Jim elbowed him playfully.

“I think it’s wonderful.” Jim insisted. “Now she’s got lots of different influences to bounce off of. From you she’s learned that it’s okay to be more affectionate, that it’s okay to show your love outwardly for other people. I think I was always a little uptight with her because I was afraid people were scrutinising our relationship and thinking I was being inappropriate being a single man with a little girl.”

“Darling-” Freddie yawned. “Your relationship with that little girl is wonderful. You’ve taken her out of the care system and given her a stable home where she’s loved and cherished. Most children in the system don’t get that treat in their lives.”

“I always thought I’d adopt another one or two.” Jim said softly. “I never thought I’d be in a relationship with a man who already had children. Every guy I’ve ever dated has always been a gold-star.”

“Gold-star?” Freddie echoed. “What does that mean?”

Jim checked over Dylan quickly, relieved to see that he was fast asleep. “Never been with a woman. It’s like a status symbol.”

“Gross.” Freddie chuckled. “Definitely not me. It doesn’t make a difference, does it?”

“Not to me.” Jim yawned himself. “It would only matter if you were sleeping with a woman behind my back.”

“Never, darling.” Freddie said soothingly. “I’ve been blessed with you ever since you came into my life. I would never want to jeopardise that.”

“I never thought you would, sweetness, don’t worry.” Jim smiled. “Why don’t you get some rest? I’ll make some lunch later.” He promised. “Theo seems to have gone down a treat this time.”

“Those drops are magic.” Freddie snuggled down into his pillow and wrapped an arm around his son, holding him closely. “I love you.” He glanced up at his fiancé and smiled. 

“I love you too.” Jim leaned over and pressed a kiss to his forehead before laying down himself.

* * *

Freddie pounced on him as soon as he heard the first cough. His own had progressed from an irritated throat to deep coughs, low in his chest, painful and violent; Jim’s coughs were his from before, light and tickling the back of his throat. “Lie down.” He said immediately, resting a hand on Jim’s arm. “Darling, go and take the medicine and lie down.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Jim chuckled. “Have you heard your chest? I’m surprised you’re even awake right now.”

“Don’t do what I did. Yours doesn’t have to get like this.” He insisted. “Learn from my mistakes.”

“Freddie!” Jim laughed and picked him up, sitting him on the counter. “Shush. I’ll take some tablets if it’ll make you happy.”

Freddie nodded vigorously and handed them over. “I can take over cooking, darling, honestly. I want you to rest.”

“Let’s do it together.” Jim offered, trying to placate him. “Then neither of us is exerted.”

“Fine.” Freddie agreed. “What are you making?”

“I’m just doing a soup. It’s easy for Dylan to eat and it might help soothe your chest.” He explained gently. “I know it’s not very exciting. Can you chop some vegetables for me?”   
  


“You’re so healthy.” Freddie chuckled to himself as he took the chopping board from Jim. 

“I’m not-” Jim started, but Freddie just grinned.

“Your daughter likes lentils. My children eat fish fingers.” He pointed out. 

“Your son will also eat almost anything so long as you season it with garam masala.” Jim laughed. “It’s just cultural differences.”

“I’ve never met a child that likes lentils.” Freddie insisted. “And chickpeas. What child likes chickpeas?”

“Dylan loves chickpeas, what are you talking about?” Jim laughed. “I’ve never seen a child so excited when you brought home those falafels.”

“He doesn’t know that they’re chickpeas. If I told him then he wouldn’t eat them.” Freddie rolled his eyes playfully. “I don’t tell him what’s in most of what we eat. I make him taste it first and then he forgets about complaining.”

“The joys of fatherhood.” Jim chuckled. 

“You know-” Freddie paused shyly. “Remember what you said about adopting more kids until I brought my small horde with me?”

“Yes?” Jim asked curiously, turning to him from the pan.

“I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to.” He said bashfully. “I like the idea of rescuing them and giving them homes. I wouldn’t mind another one.”

Jim smiled over at him. “You’re giving me a longer and longer list of things to do, aren’t you?” He teased fondly. “Now I’ve got to work to buy you a ring, propose to you properly, marry you, and adopt another child.”

“I’m just saying-” Freddie squeaked, scared he’d offended, but Jim leaned over and kissed him quiet. 

“I know what you’re saying, sweetheart.” Jim said lovingly. “And this is why I love you.”

His cheeks pinkened and he smiled shyly. “I love you too.” He sighed happily. “You know, it feels so wonderful to say that and mean it. I really do love you so much.”

“You’re my second favourite person in the whole world.” Jim took the vegetables he’d diced and poured them into the soup pot. “After Eva, of course.”

“That’s reasonable.” Freddie smiled. “Everyone says that London is a lonely place, but I feel more at home here than I ever did in India. If we’d been in India I never would have invited you for coffee because I was worried that my parents would find out.”

“Are you not out to them?” He questioned.

“Never.” Freddie chuckled. “They’d kick my ass from here to Siberia and back. If they knew I gave up my marriage for a relationship with a man then they’d probably never speak to me again. They insist on a good motherly influence for the children, they’d be horrified that they haven’t seen her in over a month.”

“Was she a good motherly influence in the first place?” Jim chuckled.

“Depends on how much you value her abstract value of being female.” Freddie shrugged. “She was shit, in all honesty. She didn’t want to help at all. She’d just leave them to cry until I did whatever I had to. I felt so lonely even though she was there the whole time.”

“You don’t have to be lonely anymore.” Jim leaned in and rested his hands on Freddie’s waist. “You’re part of a huge family of five now. We’re nothing if not unconventional.” He kissed him slowly, softly, sweetly. “Two fathers, two sons, and a daughter.”

“We should have another daughter and complete the set. It’ll be like Noah’s ark.” He joked. 

Eva stood in the doorway and nudged Dylan as both men kissed again, languid and chaste. “My Daddy loves your daddy.” She said softly.

“Our daddy.” Dylan said quietly. “Baba’s got a ring.”

“A ring?” Eva echoed. She ran into the kitchen quickly and tugged on the leg of Freddie’s trousers. “Baba, Baba, Dylan says you’ve got a ring.”

Freddie chuckled and Jim picked her up, sitting her on the counter so she could be next to him. Freddie held out his left hand, letting Eva inspect the diamond closely, and she made a little noise of awe. “Baba, it’s so pretty!”

Dylan kept hanging around Jim’s legs until he eventually picked him up and sat him on his hip, though he was a little big; he liked how affectionate Dylan was becoming with him. “Daddy gave it to Baba.” He told Eva, grinning widely.

“Daddy?” Eva echoed. “Daddy, I want one!”

“One day, princess. When you’re bigger.” Jim said judiciously. Freddie moved into the armchair beside the counter and Eva immediately curled into his lap, not perturbed by his occasional bouts of coughing. 

“Is the ring special?” She asked, tucking herself against his chest.

“The ring means that one day I might marry your Daddy.” Jim said conversationally. “And that would be very special, darling, because it means that we love each other very much and we’ll be together for the rest of our lives.”

Eva smiled and Freddie wrapped his arms around her, bringing her in closer. “I love my Baba.” She said softly, glancing up at Freddie.

Freddie kissed the top of her head and smiled. “I love you too, sweetness.”


	8. Soap Suds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've both craved conversation for so long, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is such a drabble but it's a cute drabble and I had to get it out my system before I go back to Rufescent! I was at the hairdresser yesterday and this chapter came alive in the three hours (!) it took.

“It occurs to me that you’ve probably never pampered yourself in your life.” Jim’s skilled fingers massaged Freddie’s scalp as he sat over the sink, eyes closed and lips parted in simple joy. “I couldn’t help but notice the shampoo you were using, it’s simply awful, so I stole you this one from the salon.”

“Jim!” Freddie started to laugh. “You can’t steal from your workplace for me!”

“I’m leaving. They’ll never know.” He rinsed Freddie’s hair slowly and chuckled to himself. “I love doing this.”

“It’s yet another talent your fingers have.” He chuckled to himself. “Why are you leaving?”

Jim applied a little more pressure to the points on his scalp that he held tension and Freddie relaxed in his hands, melting like ice through his fingers. “I got a new job in Knightsbridge. I can finally leave that fucking salon.” He said proudly. “I’ve been trundling along on minimum wage for far too long. It’s not enough to support our family.”

“Where are you going now, darling? Are you changing careers?” He asked, voice smooth and warm. 

“I’m changing to a different salon. I’m going to be a senior stylist.” He grinned. “I’m practicing my technique on you.”

“How much do you charge an hour?” Freddie asked curiously.

“A hundred and seventy-five for a ninety-minute treatment. I get to keep a hundred and thirty of it.” He grinned. “Which will work out to around five hundred pounds a day, on a good day. I can be done at three so I don’t leave all the childcare to you.”

“Holy shit, darling!” Freddie sprung up and hugged him tightly. “That’s incredible!”

“Seeing as I was being paid about eight pounds an hour before, it’s a big step up.” He chuckled and hugged Freddie back. “The interview process was arduous. They made me show them my customer service and I had to do a colour, a cut, a shave, a massage, a facial treatment and a fucking manicure to prove to them I had the talent they needed.” He gently sat him back down and carefully massaged a little conditioner into the ends of his hair. “I’m going to have to buy some cufflinks.”

“You have to wear cufflinks?” Freddie echoed. “I don’t even know how you wear cufflinks.”

“I have to wear a suit.” Jim chuckled. “Or certainly suit trousers and a shirt. I have to look the part.”

“I don’t promise not to jump you as soon as I see you wearing it.” He grinned as careful fingers rinsed his hair. “Did you say you do massages?”

Jim grinned. “I knew it was only so long until you picked up on that.” He wrapped his hair in a towel and helped him stand up. “Where would you say feels tight, darling?”

“My back and shoulders.” Freddie’s voice turned a little shy and he giggled to himself. He squealed when Jim picked him up, kissing him firmly, and laughed as he was thrown onto their bed. “God, I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Jim crawled over him and grinned. “Take your shirt off, darling, and lay on your stomach.”

And it was this, this playful intimacy, laughter and company through quieter days, that Jim loved about having his house crammed with people. Sometimes it felt as though it was almost too loud, too cramped, five people with three bedrooms, but the energy was infectious, such a quiet home becoming the pinpoint of his happiness. He wouldn’t trade the giggles of Theo as he was tickled by Freddie, the excited splashing of both children sharing a bath, the soft sounds of Freddie asleep against his chest, for the whole world.

Freddie rested his head on the pillow and extended his arms up above his head. “You definitely have the world’s most talented fingers.” He joked as Jim carefully started warming up the muscles of his back with long strokes of the palm of his hand.

“I always used to think that about my father’s hands.” Jim smiled. “He’s the kind of man that can do anything with his hands. He could always fix anything I asked him to, my bike especially, and he could build furniture or put up shelves or anything my mother asked him to do.”

Freddie was nearly asleep from the gorgeous pressure over his tired muscles and the sound of Jim’s voice, low and melodic. “But you know what the best thing he used to do was?” He continued. “I’ll never forget the way he used to do our nails. He was a businessman and he used to fixate on people’s first impressions of us, and he swore that the most important thing to focus on was your hands when you shook someone else’s for the first time.” He pressed a little harder on a knot over Freddie’s shoulder and felt him relax into it. “He was so gentle, he’d hold our hands and shape everything nicely and he’d always look so proud of himself when he’d finished.”

Freddie smiled and snuggled into his pillow. “My mother used to spend more time on my hair than my sister’s.” He said sleepily. “Because Kash would always make hers beautiful with ribbons, and she’d brush it until it crackled before we went to sleep. I can still remember laying in my bed and watching her as she took out every pin and brushed every section out and she’d cleanse her face because she used to wear the most gorgeous pearly lipstick.” He said shyly. “I still think that she’s objectively one of the most beautiful women in the world.”

“A household of boys never had that kind of thing. I was lucky if I got the bath water while it was still warm. There were eight of us, and I was number four, which was the worst.” He laughed and moved to his lower back, sitting on the backs of his thighs. “Because Mum would change the bath water halfway through, which was always after me. I had to wash in water that three other people had already used.” He wrinkled his nose playfully. “Maybe that’s why I’m so fixated on the beauty industry now. Maybe that’s why I always change the water in between children.”

“Kash and I never did that.” Freddie chuckled. “I mean, we shared as kids, but not when we got older. She would take showers and use up all the hot water, though, so most of mine were cold.” He sighed happily. “I didn’t start to take them warm again until I started sharing them with you. The boiler in my old place was nothing if not temperamental. I had to boil the water for Dylan’s bath half the time.”

“I’ve been lucky with this place.” Jim smiled. “I bought it when I first moved to London about five years ago, and it was cheap as anything.”

“It’s wonderful.” Freddie smiled to himself. “Why did you decide to have Eva, darling?”

“I was just so obsessed with the idea of having children. I felt so lonely on my own in this big flat all the time, and I just felt so ready to settle down even if it meant I was sacrificing a lot of my opportunities to go out and meet men.” Jim hummed. “I chose Eva because she was sexually abused before she was taken into care, and then she was just dropped off with a babysitter one day and her mother never came back for her. A lot of people don't want a child with that much baggage.”

“That’s awful.” Freddie said softly. “And now you’ve brought her into a world where she can learn to trust men again.”

“It was actually one of the good things about telling the adoption agency that I was gay. It removed any element of suspicion from me straight away, because they understood why I wanted to adopt a vulnerable child.” He eased the muscle away from Freddie’s spine, following the tautness of his back, and smiled to himself. “I need to add you and the kids to her register.”

“What does that mean?” Freddie questioned.

“It’s the list of adults that we can trust her to be alone with. At the moment, if social services sprung a surprise visit on us and found you looking after her with me still at work, she could be taken away again, and of course we don’t want that. It’s so they know who to expect in her place of residence.” He explained.

“That sounds complicated.” Freddie said quietly. “There’s so many hoops to jump through that I’ve never even thought of. It’s never been that complicated with my kids, the only struggle I ever had was getting custody.” He paused for a moment. “They prefer to award joint custody, and they never seem to give custody to the father.”

“I think the world is beginning to change.” Jim’s voice was soothing, rich like butter. “I think that we can start to begin to trust people. Social attitudes might not change, but legal attitudes are beginning to change now.”

“I still can’t believe that I can actually get married to a man now.” Freddie said shyly. “I always thought that if anywhere made it legal first, it would be England. I used to watch the news while I gave Dylan his dinner and I used to just keep holding out that one day a flash bulletin would come up that would say I could marry someone I loved if only I moved.”

“Why did you move?” Jim pressed a kiss to the bump between his neck and spine as he pressed down on a spot below his shoulder blade, alternating a smooth, sweeping pressure with the pads of his thumb. “It’s a big move with little children.”

“Theo was born in England, so we only had to worry about Dylan at that point.” Freddie tensed his back for a second, before relaxing with a slow breath out. “Mary really wanted to come back to be with her family, and we knew we wanted a divorce, but it’s difficult to get divorced as a Parsi in India. We would’ve had to live separately for at least three years, or she would’ve had to have claimed cruelty, at which point I would’ve lost the children. At least here we could get divorced on the grounds that we no longer loved one another.” He stretched out under Jim’s weight and smiled. “Besides, I knew I wouldn’t be happy in India if I lived there any longer. I couldn’t go the rest of my life being illegal.”

“Was London a culture shock?” Jim mused. “It was for me. I lived in Carlow as a kid, one of the few places in Ireland where Irish is more widely spoken than English. We had a church, a pub and a neighbourhood shop.” He chuckled. “And then I threw myself into London.”

“Such a shock.” Freddie said softly. “People looked at us like we were- almost like we were from another world. Especially living in Kensington, everyone here fits one mould, and a Parsi family of three with no mother to be seen didn’t fit at all.” He said shyly. “I thought I might never have a conversation with another person again that wasn’t about how much my shopping cost.”

“I’m surprised you never mentioned my accent. That’s usually the first thing people comment on when they meet me for the first time.” Jim slowly got off him and lay beside him. “Like you can’t be Irish without being a member of the IRA, or something.”

“I found your accent intriguing. I used to have to take a moment to understand you when I first met you. I think Dylan picked it up quicker than I did.” Freddie cupped his cheek and kissed him lazily. “It’s part of what makes you you, I think. I like the way you say the word _ boyfriend.” _

“What about fiancé?” Jim teased and kissed him again. “What about husband?”

“It sounds almost too perfect, darling.” Freddie sighed happily. “Almost, that is.”


	9. Kangaroo Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of daddies bonding with babies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is impeccable stress relief

“Where are my boys?”

Theo’s little face lit up and he pushed himself up on two little arms: he was laying on his stomach on Freddie’s chest, but he’d recognised Jim’s voice immediately when he called out from the hallway. “Oh, darling!” Freddie laughed and kissed the baby’s head. “We’re in here!”

The sight of Freddie, bundled up on the sofa with his baby, made Jim’s heart swell with happiness. “Good afternoon, gorgeous.” Jim leaned down and kissed him lightly. “Hey, Teddy!” He said excitedly, putting one of his fingers to the baby’s outstretched hand.

“You should’ve seen his face when he heard your voice.” Freddie chuckled. “He gave me the biggest smile, like I’d just made all his Christmases come at once.”

Jim grinned and picked up Theo, holding him up nose to nose. “You missed your daddy, baby?” He asked softly. “Daddy missed you too.” He kissed his nose and spun him around playfully, listening to his little giggles.

“He’s doing so well at the moment.” Freddie stood up and kissed Jim’s cheek. “He’s so conversational, and he can kick really hard.” He laughed. “As I discovered earlier when I was trying to give him a bath and he got excited.”

Jim chuckled and tickled him lightly. “He seems to be understanding what’s going on more now.”

“He’s interested in everything. Eva left some of her socks on the sofa and he’s been grabbing them and holding on really tight. I had to stop him from putting them in his mouth.” Freddie chuckled. “He’s a whole three months old now. I’m surprised he’s done so well with just me around.”

“Don’t talk yourself down.” Jim kissed his cheek. “You’ve done wonderfully.”

Freddie’s cheeks glowed with the praise and he smiled at his lover. “I love you. How was your first day?” He asked.

“Love you too.” Jim kissed his other cheek and then smiled. “It was so good.” Jim chuckled and handed over Theo; he unclasped his cufflinks and placed them down on the table before rolling his sleeves up and loosening his collar. “I did two full treatments, a cut and colour and a manicure, and I got tipped on the full treatments.” He took two twenty pound notes from his pocket and tucked them in the pocket of Freddie’s jeans. “So I want you to treat yourself.”

“Darling!” He bit his lip shyly. “You earned that money, you should treat yourself.”

“I earned over three hundred today, sweetheart, I can afford to spoil you.” Jim’s voice tinged with pride, the same pride Freddie got from having the children in clean clothes and the baby wearing new sleepsuits and putting dinner on the table for his family: it was the pride of providing, fulfilling a role and knowing he was doing it well. “Besides, when you spoil yourself, you spoil me too. You know I love your pretty smile.”

“What should I spoil myself with?” Freddie asked excitedly, putting Theo onto his mat and letting him play with a new toy, a butterfly with wings that crinkled. “Dylan could do with some new shoes, actually, because the toes of his have gotten scuffed beyond repair. Maybe I’ll get him some new socks, too, so I don’t have to keep sewing those up.”

Jim clicked his tongue playfully and brought Freddie closer. “No, darling, that’s what the family money goes on. This is special treat money.” He kissed Freddie’s nose. “Buy yourself something that’ll make you happy.”

Freddie paused for a few moments and then started to smile. “There is one thing.” He admitted. “I’ve had my eye on it forever.”

“Oh?” Jim asked as he moved into the kitchen; Freddie hopped onto the bar so he could keep an eye on the baby and his lover at the same time. “What would that be, sweetheart?”

“It’s a bathrobe.” He chuckled. “But it’s satin, and it’s a dusty pink colour, and I always think that colour looks good on my skin tone. It’s like when it’s the middle of summer and my skin just begins to tan, that’s when I look my best.” He paused and smiled, subtle and coquettish. “It’s a little sexy too, I suppose. More so than pajama trousers, at least.”

“Make sure you get some underwear to match.” Jim flicked the kettle on and grinned over at Freddie.

“Lacy boxers?” Freddie teased. “You’ve got some feminisation kink or something?”

“Shush, you.” Jim tilted his chin up and kissed him long and slow. “As I said, anything that’ll make you happy.”

Freddie laughed against his lips and wrapped his arms around Jim’s neck happily, shivering when his fingers traced over the bare skin of his waist. “Are shirts optional in this house today?” Jim teased.

“The nurse said that babies like skin-on-skin contact.” He said shyly. “It helps keep them warm. It’s more important when they’re newborn, but Theo still likes it if we’re having some quiet time together. When he was first born, Mum didn’t want to hold him because she wanted to get cleaned up and go to sleep, and so he’s always been used to me instead.”

“He’s so lucky to have such a wonderful father.” Jim said softly, any hint of teasing replaced by fondness. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget those first few moments.” Freddie smiled and glanced over at his son, who was fascinated by a little play mirror. “The first time he ever woke up. He cried a little, and then I started talking to him and he opened his little eyes and looked right up at me and made me feel like the only person in the world that mattered to him.”

Jim looked over at the baby, who was laying on his stomach, pushed up on both arms, looking intently at both men. “Do you think I could lay with him sometime?” He asked quietly. “If you’re okay with that, of course.”

“Darling, of course I’m okay with that.” Freddie smiled. “You have to commit to it, though. It’s best to do it for about an hour, that’s when he gets all the benefits.”

“What benefits are there?” Jim questioned, swooping in to pick Theo up when he threatened to start putting things close to his mouth again.

“Remember he had colic and he was crying all the time?” Freddie hummed. “The nurse told me to give him more skin contact, because it helps his tummy and it calms him down, makes him less stressed. I’ve been doing it for an hour a day at least, and he’s all but stopped getting it now, and he doesn’t get upset as often.”

“I can’t believe that’s all it takes.” Jim held Theo over his shoulder, laughing when the baby started tugging at his hair. “You know, I almost feel like he’s my son now. It was easier with Dylan, because he started calling me daddy, but I always saw Theo as yours.”

“You care for him almost as much as I do. You’re as much his daddy as I am.” Freddie laughed and kissed Theo’s forehead. “Darling, if I go and pick up the children, would you be okay to feed him in a little while?”

Jim’s face lit up and Freddie didn’t miss the widening of his smile. “Of course I can.” He said quickly, excitedly. “Have you made up his bottles?”

“You’ll have to make one up for him. It’s probably best if you boil the water now so it’s got time to cool, even better if you can make me up some bottles for the night and the morning.” Freddie grinned; he was deliberately putting more responsibility on Jim, proving that he trusted his fiancé to look after the baby without micromanaging everything.

“I’ll do that.” He nodded quickly. “How much in each bottle?”

“Fill them up. It should be about six or seven ounces now.” Freddie smiled. “It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t take all of it, he probably won’t, but at least he’s got the option.”

* * *

Jim yawned and pulled Freddie closer as his alarm went off, his arms winding tight around him and burying his face in his hair. Freddie made a soft, sleepy noise and clutched tighter to Jim, practically laying on top of his chest. These mornings were the staple of their love and affection, a way to set the tone for their day; waking wrapped up in one another never failed to make them both feel happy, warm and secure in their love.

Freddie opened one eye to see daylight through the window and sat up quickly, heart beating faster in his chest. Jim yawned and pulled him in again, but Freddie grabbed his boxers from the floor and rolled out of bed; Jim pushed himself up onto his elbows as Freddie left the room.

He returned moments later with the baby in his arms, sleepy but blinking in the early morning sunshine, and his face was painted with the biggest smile. “He slept through the night.” Freddie said triumphantly, sitting down in bed again and laying beside Jim. “I can’t believe you managed to get him to sleep through the night.”

“It was me?” Jim yawned.

“You fed him, washed him and rocked him to sleep, and then he slept through the night. You’re clearly magical.” Freddie lay the baby on Jim’s chest and cuddled back up to him. “He’s always good for his daddy.”

Theo’s little fists grabbed at Jim’s shirt and he chuckled, kissing the baby’s soft forehead. “Good morning, sweetheart.” He said, voice rough with sleep; all he wanted was to lay here, for hours upon end, the baby warm and safe against his chest and Freddie tucked up against his side. He was jealous, some mornings, of Freddie’s pillow-creased and sleepy face, barely having got the coffee machine going by the time he left the house; he was jealous of his slow mornings and infinite baby time. “I just want to hold him for a few minutes.” He said shyly.

Freddie leaned up and kissed his cheek. “I’ll go and see if the kids are up. Do you want a coffee?”

“If you give me warm drinks in bed then I’ll be asleep again in five minutes.” He rested his head on Freddie’s thigh as he sat back up. 

“Perks of Saturdays.” Freddie combed his fingers through Jim’s hair and smiled. “Tea instead?”

“It’s a Saturday?” Jim echoed: every worry he’d ever had seemed to melt off his shoulders as he realised he could afford to spend another hour in bed. 

“Yes, darling, it’s a Saturday.” Freddie smiled. 

“Tea would be wonderful.” Jim rested a hand on Theo’s back and closed his eyes. “The kids can come in here if they’d like.”

No sooner had he said it than Eva was running into the room, hauling herself up onto the bed to cuddle her father. “Daddy!” She said delightedly. “Daddy, why do you have Theo?”

“We’re having a cuddle, sweetheart.” Jim held an arm out for her. “Do you want to join us?”

She nodded furiously and snuggled in as Freddie headed back into the children’s room, looking for Dylan. When the little boy saw his father, his face lit up and he held up his arms, an instant invitation for Freddie to wrap him in love and kisses; he giggled as Freddie kissed his nose, then his cheek, then his forehead. “Good morning, darling.” He said softly. “How’s my little boy?”

“I’m sleepy, Baba.” Dylan giggled shyly as Freddie picked him up, swaddling a blanket around him before carrying him down to the kitchen.

“Me too, sweetness.” Freddie chuckled. “We’re all going to have lots of cuddles in mine and Daddy’s bed because we’re all sleepy.” He flicked on the kettle and got a bottle from the fridge, standing it on the warmer. “You can go back to sleep if you want to.”

Dylan rested his head on Freddie’s collar bone and yawned. “I love you, Baba.” He said softly. “Thank you.”

“Thank you?” Freddie echoed. “Why thank you, sweetheart?”

“I like England.” He told Freddie. “We have Daddy and you smile lots and lots and you play with me and you don’t work and it makes me very, very happy. And Daddy gives good hugs and he likes to snuggle and now I get two daddies, and no one else has two daddies.”

Freddie kissed the top of his head and squeezed him tightly. “I’m glad you like Daddy, darling, because I really love Daddy. I think we might keep him forever and ever.”

Dylan grinned and kissed Freddie’s cheek, letting himself be put down when Freddie needed both hands to make tea. “You chose the best Daddy ever.” He promised Freddie.

When Freddie went back upstairs to find Jim sitting back against the headboard, baby neatly under one arm and brushing through Eva’s hair with his spare hand, he knew there was no arguing with Dylan.


	10. Domestic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vignettes in their days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back?

Jim’s hand was flat against Freddie’s mouth as they rocked together in bliss; Freddie could barely keep his eyes open against the weight of the pleasure. There was something in the way that Jim alternated between sharp, strong thrusts, skin slapping against skin, hot and passionate, and then the way he’d grab onto his hips and pull him in, rocking deep with his body weight behind it, that made him feel so helpless; he loved strong hands on his body, and the way Jim treated him was the ultimate indulgence.

More than that, though, was the indulgence of the aftercare, when his body was floating and his mind was yet to reattach itself to the world, when he was soft and sleepy and heavy, and his limbs didn’t want to coordinate just yet. He loved the moment of being tucked up against his lover, soothing fingers combing through his hair when Jim knew he wouldn’t yet get words. He loved never having to fear being lazy afterwards, he loved knowing that Jim wanted to care for him, wanted to brush his hair and make him drink water and layer blankets over him to make him as warm and happy and content as could be.

“Jim-” Freddie yawned and closed his eyes, nosing at his neck.

“Welcome back, darling.” Jim pressed his lips to Freddie’s forehead. “Not too much?”

“Not at all.” He wrapped his arm around Jim. “I feel good.”

“I like it when you feel good.” Jim tucked a blanket over his shoulders and squeezed him closely. “I like knowing all of you are happy.”

Freddie glanced up at him and smiled, giddy and happy and warm: it was pure and innocent, the smile of love and trust and comfort. “I always wanted someone to look after me like I look after the kids.” He murmured mindlessly. “Tuck me up in blankets and rock me to sleep, you know? It’s so- so comforting.” He smiled, big and toothy.

“I think you deserve it. I think you work too hard.” He kissed Freddie’s forehead. “I’ve never met a man that can balance a baby on his shoulder while he bathes a five year old. I’m surprised Theo doesn’t fall off with how much he kicks.”

“God, he wriggles so much.” Freddie chuckled and yawned again. “Those legs are never still. I’ve never seen a baby that moves as much as he does.”

“Hard work.” Jim rested his forehead against Freddie’s and smiled. “Sometimes I wish I was a kid again. I miss those days when you didn’t have to think about anything.”

“You understand.” Freddie smiled shyly. “Sometimes I start to relax when I’m with you, though. I get to let my guard down and focus on myself for a little while, and I never used to get that when it was just me and the children.”

Jim combed his fingers through Freddie’s hair. “I’ll be on baby duty this evening.” He said gently. “He won’t be too much trouble, I imagine, and I think you need a rest.”

“You’ve got work.” Freddie insisted shyly. “You can’t be getting up all night.”

“He’s our son, sweetheart. He’s as much my responsibility as he is yours, and I want you to rest and relax.” Jim smiled. “Sleep, baby.”

“You make me sound like a child.” Freddie whispered. 

Jim laughed. “Shall I sing you a lullaby?”

“Fuck off.” Freddie chuckled sleepily. “I’m going to sleep.”

“Good, baby.” Jim pecked his cheek again and then snuggled down. “Go to sleep.”

* * *

Eva frowned as she leaned up to touch Freddie’s top lip. “Why are you matching Daddy?”

Freddie laughed; he’d spontaneously chosen to cut his hair, and was waiting for Jim to come home to surprise him. He felt more confident the way he was now, as though his hair accentuated the sharpness of his features, as though he was no longer so scared of his own face that he had to hide behind his hair. He’d been so shy, the man with the children, feeling as though he was consistently stared down by mothers, by conventional couples - now he felt supported, felt loved, and he wouldn’t be ashamed anymore.

“I like Daddy’s moustache.” Freddie said simply. “Don’t you think it looks nice?”

“It looks funny.” She commented, but she immediately started giggling when he kissed her cheek. “It tickles!” She insisted, but her happy face made Freddie smile and then she relented. “I like it.”

“Thank you, darling.” Freddie chuckled and sat her on the kitchen counter. 

* * *

Dylan’s breaths were still a little shaky as Freddie rubbed his back, hand firm and grounding on his back. He’d gotten upset over some unkind words from a child at school, something Freddie had been anticipating for a long time, but it still hurt to see his little boy so upset, crying his eyes out by the time he’d gone to collect them from school. Nobody could seem to get him to calm down until his father had taken him close, swaddled him tight and warm and safe and held him in the same manner as he would Theo.

“Daddy-” Dylan whispered, though his voice was thick and his throat was hoarse. 

“I’m here, sweetheart.” Freddie whispered. “Daddy’s here and he loves you very much.”

Dylan matched his breaths to Freddie’s and let his father carefully dry his face with a tissue. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“Don’t say sorry to me, darling.” Freddie said gently. “You don’t need to be sorry about a thing. That little boy was horrible to you, he should be the one saying sorry to you.”

He sniffed and snuggled into Freddie’s chest. In some ways, having a small child wasn’t altogether dissimilar to having a baby, Freddie mused: he spent half his life deciphering the little noises that his children made, noises of pain or fear or content or peace or sleep or waking. Those noises now, though, were the noises of the calm after the storm, noises of a tired little boy who’d cried himself into an early bedtime, a final release of breath that mirrored the tension of the day.

“Dyl?” Eva stood shyly in the doorway. “Baba, is Dyl okay?”

“He’s just fine, darling.” He said soothingly; he was getting better at juggling the needs of each of his children. “Why don’t you come and snuggle with us?” He held out an arm for her.

Dylan looked over hopefully and she smiled shyly, holding her arms out and letting Freddie pull her up to snuggle up next to Dylan. She kissed her brother’s cheek and they both settled down on him, Dylan tired and Eva happy to be close to her family; her own eyes closed heavily as Dylan started to doze.

When Jim walked in, Freddie was half asleep with two children resting on him; he opened one eye blearily and smiled. “Good evening.” He murmured roughly. 

“Good evening.” Jim leaned down and kissed him gently. “This is a beautiful sight to come home to.”

“A little family.” Freddie grinned. “Your little family.”

“The best family.” He picked up Dylan when he held his arms out sleepily and kept him close into his chest. “My favourite family.”


	11. Clear Night Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He can't believe it's so soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I've neglected Jim for like 10 months but he's such a rich character so I want more of him

Jim reached for Freddie’s hand over the table, tracing the cuff of his jacket, the little silver cufflinks that peeked from beneath, the bump of the bone of his wrist, down over the vein and over the ring on his left hand; he smiled despite his nerves. “Thank you for coming out with me tonight.”

Freddie smiled and winked as he sipped his rosé. “Darling, you’re treating me, how could I ever say no?” He teased fondly. “When a pretty boy wants to go on a date with you, you don’t say no. You especially don’t say no to the man who provides for your children and dresses you in silk.” Freddie adjusted his collar. “I feel like a queen.”

Jim pressed a kiss to his wrist. “You’re so warm.” He murmured, finding comfort in the body across from his own. “I hope you know how much I love you.”

Freddie’s cheeks warmed and he squeezed his hand. “What makes you say that?” He asked, voice a little more shy.

“I just-” Jim leaned over and kissed him lightly. “I spent so long thinking I’d never have a proper family. I spent so long being told that because I wasn’t going to have a wife, I’d live my life practically on my own and that I shouldn’t expect men to want to live with me in the same way as women do. I never thought it was homophobic but I was just so frightened that I’d be alone for the rest of my life.” He paused. “I guess it was kind of homophobic. Assuming all men just want to play around.”

“I was very excited to have children.” Freddie squeezed his hand. “And then I thought that no one would take on me and the kids when I split up with Mary. I must admit, though, that part of me was more concerned about people taking on me than the kids.”

“Why?” Jim found himself relaxing as he watched the way Freddie’s cheeks hollowed as he spoke.

“I’m a handful.” Freddie’s grin was strange for the moment and yet wholeheartedly gorgeous. “Like, do we have three kids between us? Or am I the fourth?”

Jim kissed the pad of his finger and laughed. “I don’t think you’re a kid. Have you seen you with the baby? You’re like superman.”

Freddie chuckled. “I think I’m a lot better when you’re around. Ever since I’ve met you, I’ve just- I’m a different person. There’s something about being in love that changes you.” 

Jim blushed instinctively. “You take better care of yourself.” He agreed. “Like- it’s gross, I know, but I used to wear boxers for several days at a time if I was too busy to do laundry and my mother used to come and dress Eva for me. I pretended to be all big and strong and knowing what I was doing but I used to have so much help with her. I used to be late for her all the time at school.”

Freddie leaned over the table and pecked his lips lightly before cutting into the chocolate torte in front of him. He spooned a little into Jim’s mouth and smiled when it stained his lips. “I was the same, if it’s any consolation.” Freddie smiled. “Balancing a baby and a five-year-old and just assuming that anyone looking at me would presume I’m doing fine. It was almost easier because I was in a new place and nobody knew me.”

Jim wiped his lower lip with the pad of his thumb and chuckled. “I love being in love.” He stood up quickly and took one of his hands. Freddie’s mind had almost caught up to the occasion when Jim lowered himself gracefully to the floor. “And I love you.”

“You’re not-” He started, but let himself be silenced by Jim’s finger across his lips.

“I told you I’d do it properly.” His other hand fumbled in the pocket of his jacket. “And we’ve known each other what, two months? I’m definitely rushing it.” He laughed. “But nobody’s ever made me feel like you do. Darling, will you marry me?”

“You bastard.” Freddie replied. “Yes, you fucking idiot, I’ll marry you.” He laughed, hands trembling when Jim slipped the ring on his finger. 

Jim kissed him softly, slowly, yet deep and passionate, warm lips connected oh-so-gently. “Is it unconventional to propose on the second date?” He asked playfully.

“No more unconventional than moving in together after about a week.” Freddie smiled. “You really want to keep me here, hey?”

“I can’t ever imagine being without you.” Jim kissed him again. “I can’t imagine not seeing you in the morning when I wake up. I think it would break my heart if I didn’t have you to wake up next to and come home to and just- just to love. It’s the stupid shit I’d miss about you.” He wasn’t sure where the emotion was coming from in his heart, something repressed for far too long. “Like the fact that you leave your socks on the sofa and you can’t drink all the tea in your mug.”

“You make it sound like you’re already married to me.” Freddie laughed and rested his forehead against Jim’s.

“You’re just so stupidly beautiful and I love you so much.” Jim chuckled. “That’s all.”

Freddie watched the way his ring caught the light and smiled. “It’s a gorgeous way to show it.” He moved his chair to be next to Jim’s, suddenly wanting nothing more than to be close to him. “I love you.”

* * *

He sat back and propped his feet up on the balcony, cradling the baby close in his arms; they were both shrouded in a heavy blanket to protect them from the cold night’s air. He hadn’t expected Theo to settle so easily, but the feeling of the baby asleep against him filled him with peace; by now, he was beginning to get used to Jim alone, as well as Freddie.

“I wonder how long I’ll be engaged for.” He murmured mindlessly. “Maybe you’ll be old enough to see our wedding, darling. Maybe you can wear a little suit and sit on your daddy’s hip while he signs the papers.” He smiled at the image and kissed Theo’s head when he shifted against his bare chest. “Or maybe you could throw flower petals. I’m sure Dylan could hold your hand while you toddled along. Maybe you’ll be like your daddy and you’ll want to throw some glitter.”

The baby looked up at him, gorgeous green eyes blinking curiously. He outstretched his little hand and touched the scruff on the end of his chin, working hard to haul himself closer to his face. “You like that idea?” Jim laughed and touched his little hand. “Should I buy you a packet of glitter so I can pick you up and you can pour it over daddy? We can shower him on his wedding day.” He reached for the cooling bottle on the side and tested it on the inside of his wrist. “What colour do you think?”

Theo grabbed excitedly for the bottle, little eyes coming alive. “I think pink.” Jim continued. “Or maybe silver, or gold. Your daddy is very regal, after all. He likes to describe himself as a queen.” He touched the bottle to Theo’s lips as he laughed. “Maybe that’s just a joke about being gay.”

He watched the clouds obscuring the moon and shivered, shrugging the blanket higher over their bodies. “I never thought I’d be this happy.” He looked down at his son, happy and healthy, tiny fingers resting lightly on his own hand. “I didn’t think I’d like babies. I thought you were all too complicated and I wouldn’t be able to tell what you wanted. I thought I was just going to kind of- put up with you, I guess, until you got older. But now, I feel so lucky to watch you grow up every single day. When I first met you, you didn’t really respond to my voice at all, and you just cried if you were uncomfortable or cold or bored or lonely, and it intimidated the fuck out of me.”

Theo moved away and Jim winded him gently. “I love watching you grow. I love the fact that you smile when I talk to you.” He said softly. “Your daddy told me that he could tell when you’re hungry because you suck on your fingers, and I thought that was a load of shit to begin with. I thought it was all part of the wonderful parent identity that he seemed to have.” It felt good to admit it to somebody, even just a baby; he gave Theo his bottle again. “But it’s so true. I almost feel like you talk to me because you laugh and you reach for me and things you want and you smile when I come home from work and you clutch onto me when you’re tired because you know I’ll always look after you.”

“And I will.” Jim smoothed his thumb over the soft, dark hair on top of his head. “I’ll always look after you. I’m going to marry your daddy, and I’m going to look after all of you forever. You’re going to grow up big and strong and I’m going to drive you to your first date and read your bedtime stories and walk you down the aisle one day while Daddy cries somewhere in the background. I’m going to cook your favourite dinner on a Sunday and I’ll sob ridiculously when you leave home and I hope you know that I’ll do anything and everything for you, darling.”


	12. Forever and Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's glad to have an answer, and he's glad of the answer he got.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tying up loose ends!

Jim turned down the collar of his jacket as he stood in the mirror, turning this way and that to check himself from all angles; he was trying his best to look as polished and professional as possible, knowing that every day could bring him new opportunities-

“You’ve got cat hair on your ass.” Freddie commented, bundled up and grinning from amongst the blankets. 

“Your fucking cat.” He muttered, trying to brush it off.

“Our fucking cat, darling.” Freddie corrected, kneeling forwards to brush it off himself. “You didn’t say no.”

“I could never say no to you.” Jim leaned down to kiss him, cupping both his cheeks. “You’re my fiancé, after all.”

“Oh, you romantic.” Freddie kissed him a little more fiercely, knotting a hand in his hair. 

“Mind it!” Jim batted his fingers from his hair. “I can’t get messy before I go to work.”

Freddie scoffed and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt. “We’ve got loads of time.” He insisted, pressing kisses to his jawline. “Come on, darling-” He looped his thumbs in Jim’s belt loops and tugged him forward a little.

“You’re a menace.” Jim muttered, but he let Freddie continue regardless; he could do sinful things with his fingers, and he was right, really, they did have time- “What do you want?”

Freddie grinned, knowing he’d won, and finished unbuttoning his shirt. “Fuck-” He smoothed his hands over his stomach, gripping his hips to make him come more easily into reach. “I want to suck you off.”

“You have the strangest pastimes.” Jim chuckled and reached down to pop the button on his slacks; just watching him sent the strongest wave of heat through Freddie. “I’m not stopping you, darling, go ahead.”

Freddie let him tug down his zipper and then gripped the waistband of his trousers, pulling at them and his boxers until he finally,  _ finally _ got at his cock- he smiled wickedly and closed his lips around the head, lapping at the irresistibly soft skin, teasing him up to full hardness. “That’s it, baby-” Jim murmured, indulging in the feeling and the sight of those rosy lips in a ring around his cock. 

Freddie hollowed his cheeks, sunk down slowly, taking his time to warm him up to it; his eyelashes fluttered shut as he hit the back of his throat. Jim loved to watch him like this, how much he loved doing it: he didn’t expect anything in return, just wanted to make his lover feel good, wanted to work him up to his breaking point, lips slick and hot and teasing and so, so talented-

“Fuck-” Jim moaned and tilted his head back as Freddie swallowed around him, his legs trembling beneath him. He bucked his hips a little and Freddie choked; seconds later, the hand tight in his hair made him moan, made him suck with more fervour. The vibrations through his cock felt incredible, made him strain between Freddie’s talented lips, his tongue so deliciously hot as it trailed the vein on the underside of his cock. “Come on, baby, just a little-  _ yes-”  _ He gasped when Freddie took him down to the base, throat so hot and wet and tight around him.

Freddie pulled back and kissed his hip bone, lazily jerking him off while he took a moment to breathe. The sight of the trail of spit between his lips and his cock had him guiding Freddie’s lips back as quick as he could, but not before he got a wicked smile in response. “What were you saying about messy?” He teased.

“Shut up.” Jim laughed breathlessly, thrusting his hips forward and moaning lightly. “Your mouth is so good, darling, fuck-”

Freddie winked and Jim threw his head back, one hand in Freddie’s hair and one on his shoulder, steadying himself as he canted his hips forward. Freddie pulled off to lick up the side of his length, precome slick against his lips, hand working whatever his lips couldn’t, making Jim’s hips jerk quickly. He moaned loudly as Freddie swirled his tongue over the head, biting at his sleeve when he dug his tongue into the slit, panting in an effort to stay quiet-

“You can fuck my mouth.” Freddie grinned cockily and sunk back down again, bobbing his head teasingly, getting him nice and slick with his tongue. “Go on, baby, use me, do it-”

“Christ-” Jim muttered. The heat was already burning insistently behind his balls and he couldn’t help but cup the back of Freddie’s head, thrusting between those slick lips, chasing his pleasure and satisfaction as Freddie sucked sloppily, so hot and so wet and so tight around him-

“Fuck, baby-” He gasped. “I’m gonna come-”

Freddie hollowed his cheeks and let his eyes flutter closed, swallowing around him when he hit the back of his throat again. He gasped when Jim grabbed him by the hair and pulled him off, fucking his fist until he came with a shout over Freddie’s face, painting those scarlet lips with a low moan.

Freddie opened his mouth and let the last few drops land on his tongue, smirking to himself. “That was hot.” He grinned. “And so dirty, fuck.” He trailed his finger over his cheek and licked the come from it.

“I hope it’s everything you wanted.” Jim zipped his trousers back up, Freddie’s eyes watching him almost hypnotically. 

“I get to start my day with a gorgeous bear fucking my throat, darling, what more could I want?” Freddie’s voice was rough, counteracting the wide smile on his face.

Jim pulled him up and kissed him, licking into his mouth quickly; Freddie’s fingers gripped his shoulders and he let himself be kissed. “You are filthy, darling, you really are.” He muttered.

“You can clean me up.” Freddie murmured against his lips.

Jim sat down against the headboard and gestured to his lap. “Why don’t you come and take a seat, baby?”

Freddie crawled towards him, but Jim just tutted a little. “No, darling, strip for me first. Come lie against me.”

Freddie shed his shirt and pajama pants and lay in Jim’s lap, back to his chest; he felt so open and exposed, Jim fully clothed against him, but it all disappeared when gentle fingers curled around his cock. Freddie gasped and closed his eyes, arching his back. “Door’s locked?” He asked quietly.

“Bit late now.” Jim kissed down his neck. “Yes, darling, it is. I know what you’re like.” He teased playfully, hand moving steadily over his cock.

“Fucking hell-” Freddie thrusted his hips impatiently. “Come on, darling, please don’t tease me-”

“Shush, sweetheart, patience.” Jim murmured. Freddie liked everything hard and fast, but Jim liked to force himself to slow down, take his time. “Let me look after you. Spread your legs, darling.” He ordered gently, resting an encouraging hand on the inside of his thigh. 

Freddie did as he was told, letting Jim have control over his body; he played him as though he were the most beautiful instrument. “Good boy.” He murmured. “Doesn’t it feel good?”

“Yeah.” Freddie agreed, cheeks pinkening as Jim lightly squeezed his cock. 

“I know you like it rough.” Jim kissed his cheek. “But you know that I like to take my time with you, baby, too.”

Freddie gasped, tucking his face against Jim’s neck as his other hand, careful as anything, trailed down to his balls. He squeezed lightly, making Freddie moan lowly, and then ever-so-gently started to massage his taint.

Freddie’s body responded immediately, his hips hitching up and his legs falling open wider. His body was charged, as though he couldn’t tell if he wanted more or if it was too much already: he panted as Jim’s hand tightened around his cock and thrusted up more desperately.

“Is that good?” Jim teased, kissing at his neck as Freddie tangled a hand in his hair. 

“Amazing-” Freddie gasped as he got the angle right, throwing his head back. He loved these lazy touches, his prostate being massaged without needing the fuss of being prepped and relaxing. His cock leaked over Jim’s hand and he moaned lowly, feeling the beginnings of his orgasm uncurling in his belly. “Darling, Jim, please, I-”

“Come on, sweetheart.” He pulled Freddie into a kiss, hand moving quick and tight over his cock and fingers pressing into his prostate. “You can do it, baby, just let go for me.”

Freddie whimpered and thrusted into his hand, panting. He opened his eyes a little and watched Jim’s hand working over his cock; the look of it alone made him cry out, shoving his hand over his mouth as he came hard and hot over Jim’s fist, his stomach and his thighs.

“And that-” Jim kissed his cheek. “Is what you needed, baby, isn’t it?”

Freddie couldn’t yet form words; his fingers rested against Jim’s arm and he turned into his chest, his whole body trembling with the aftershocks as Jim licked his hand clean. He nodded and closed his eyes again, biting his lip shyly.

Jim sat with him for a few minutes, lightly petting down his back, until Freddie stretched out and smiled bashfully. “You’re so good to me.” He murmured.

“I like looking after you.” Jim pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Even if it means that you’re definitely going to be on shaky legs for the rest of the day.”

Freddie hauled himself up and pressed a kiss to Jim’s lips. “I’ll take it any day of the week.”

* * *

“So-” Freddie balanced his coffee and the bottle in one hand and pushed the pram with the other, trying to find a good spot to sit down with the baby. “I’ve got news, darling.”

Kash took the coffee from him before he spilled it on poor Theo and sat down on the sofa opposite him. “Good news, I hope?” She asked, watching as he lifted the baby with one arm and settled in an armchair.

“Very good news.” Freddie glanced up and smiled widely. He tested the bottle quickly - he never trusted people heating them in cafes - and touched it to the baby’s lips when he was satisfied. “I’m getting married.”

“Oh, darling!” Kash said quickly, sitting forward excitedly. “That’s awfully quick, isn’t it? Have you told Mary?”

“Not yet.” Freddie sat back amongst the cushions, cradling the baby with expert grace against his chest. “The divorce went through about three months ago, so I don’t need her permission or anything. The children prefer him to her anyway.”

“How long have you known him?” Kash questioned.

“Around three months.” Freddie smiled bashfully. “I’m just- I’m so happy, darling, I don’t care if it breaks down in a few years. It might only last a few months, but at least I’ll be fucking happy.”

“I’m not judging you, darling.” Kash had her little boy in her lap, smiling over a bag of sweets, and Freddie just adored his happy little face when he looked over at his uncle. “If you’re happy, then go for it. If Dylan is happy, and you’re happy, and he’s looking after you, then I couldn’t dream of complaining.”

Freddie placed the bottle on the table as he winded his son, holding Theo close to stop him from slipping. “We’re really settling well together. I’ve managed to get a little evening job while he’s looking after the children, but he really likes to spoil me, so I’ve been very lucky.” He grinned.

“Oh, show off.” Kash laughed. “What’s the job?”

“I’m teaching some evening classes at my old art school. It’s decent money, just a little part time job so I’m not scrounging from him all the time. It only takes about two hours, and I only do it three days a week, so he doesn’t have to look after the children all the time.” Freddie tapped his hand against Theo’s back. “And, of course, I want to be able to spend time with him.”

“Well, darling, you’re not the only one with a flashy new ring.” She showed off her hand and glowed with pride. “The wedding’s in three months, and I expect you to be there in some gorgeous suit, you handsome bastard.”

Freddie burst out laughing. “Finally!” He grinned. “What’s it been, three years?”

“Four.” She chuckled. “You’d think I’d already be married by now. He proposed last week.” She moved her finger under the lamplight to make it sparkle. “We’re getting married at Christmas. Dylan can be page boy.”

“Eva for flower girl?” Freddie asked hopefully. 

“Oh, for sure.” Kash agreed. “When’s your wedding?”

“Who knows?” Freddie shrugged. “Whenever we’ve got the money. It’s messy, I’ve got to apply for indefinite leave to remain and that’s going to cost me a good few thousand pounds. There’s no guarantee I’ll get it.”

“Mine was so straightforward.” She frowned and sipped her coffee. “What’s the problem?”

“I don’t have a job because of the children, so I can’t prove that I’ve made a good impact on the economy.” Freddie rolled his eyes. “I’m applying for an unmarried partner visa. If we can prove that we live together and that he earns enough to look after me and the children without relying on the state, I can get definite leave. Plus, now that we’re engaged-” His cheeks pinkened with delight. “We can use that too.”

“Is there anything else that you need to do?” She asked.

“Have a good knowledge of English.” He chuckled. “And believe it or not, darling, I believe I’ve fulfilled that requirement.”

“You’ve got a fiancé and three children who are British citizens, they’ll let you in for sure.” She smiled. “And you’ve lived here for a good few months now.”

“My thoughts exactly, darling. I also have the added benefit of being gay.” He lit a cigarette and made sure to hold it away from the baby. “I can argue that if they send me back to India, I could be attacked.”

She whistled. “Good point. You’ve really thought this through, haven’t you?”

* * *

“Daddy!” Eva ran through the corridor of their home, looking for Jim. “Daddy, I got it!”

She held a big pile of post in her little hands and Jim picked her up, kissing her cheek gently. “Thank you for being so helpful, angel.” He said with a smile.

She giggled and wrapped her arms around Jim’s neck. “Baba said that I had to give you this.” She handed him an envelope with ‘Home Office’ emblazoned across the front, and Jim immediately understood why. Freddie didn’t want to open it himself, just in case.

“Thank you, princess.” Jim sat her on the counter and opened the envelope with a kitchen knife, scanning the page quickly.

_ Applicant name: Farrokh Bulsara _

_ Applicant number: GH7619 _

_ Date of birth: September 5 1946 _ _   
_ _ Application status: Accepted _

_ Congratulations! You have been granted a UK Family Visa (under section four, joining an unmarried partner), lasting two years and six months. This can be extended indefinitely so long as your circumstances do not change, and at the end of the current period you will be entitled to apply for indefinite leave to remain- _

“Freddie?” Jim called. “Freddie, darling, can you come here?”

Freddie came into the room quickly, his cheeks red with nervousness. “What’s the news?”

Jim read the first sentence again, and his face broke into the biggest smile. “You’re staying.”

Freddie’s face lit up. “I got it?”

“You got it, baby!” Jim hugged him tightly. “You’re staying with me forever and ever.”

“And I can do everything-”

“You can study, you can work, you can use all the healthcare, Dylan’s place at school is secure, you’re all okay.” Jim kissed him softly.

Freddie scanned over the letter and winced a little as he looked at the charges listed at the bottom of the letter;

_ Application cost: £1195 _

_ Healthcare cost: £400 _

_ Biometric cost: £20 _

“That’s pricey.” He murmured. 

“Darling-” Jim cupped his cheek and kissed him, soft and slow and loving. “No amount of money is too much to keep you here. I love you endlessly, and I would find a million pounds to keep you here if you needed it.”

Freddie’s cheeks pinkened and he smiled against his lips. “I really get to stay here?”

“Forever.” Jim kissed him softly. “Forever and always.”


	13. Sequins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Success drives them further together.

Freddie looked in the mirror and smiled wickedly. His hair was neatly trimmed, a hint of five o’clock shadow hugging his jawline and trailing down to his chest; the red leotard wrapped tight around his shoulders, split wide across his chest, squeezing the supple flesh of his thighs. It hugged his ass daringly, made it sparkle in the bathroom light; the sequins reflected every shade of red, velvet, cherry, persian, coral, ruby, strawberry. Freddie mused, as he slicked his lips red, that if someone were to take a bite out of his ass he’d taste retro, like cherry coke and liquorice, dolly mixture, sweet and sugary and a little bit tart.

He was on fire that evening, and he was excited for Jim to come home, to see him dressed up, to enjoy the sight of his lover’s lithe body in a tight sequined playsuit. He was buzzing with energy, one ear on the children and the other finally enjoying himself for himself, his talent, his ability to be excited about himself-

“Freddie?” Jim called, throwing his keys in the dish by the door and kicking off his shoes. “Darling, where are you?”

Freddie smiled and stepped out the bathroom, pausing at the top of the stairs and basking in the hungry look in Jim’s eyes. “What do you think, darling?” He preened coquettishly.

“Fucking hell.” He breathed. “I need to kiss you or I might die.”

Freddie giggled and ran downstairs, throwing himself into Jim’s arms. “You like it?”

“Is that even a question?” Jim squeezed his ass playfully and locked their lips together, kissing him slow and deep and seductive. “You look edible.”

“Cherry coke.” Freddie grinned. “That’s what I’d taste like.”

“Maybe I’ll buy some cherry body paint and I’ll lick it off you.” Jim murmured, kissing the shell of his ear. “Maybe some of it might find its way between your legs.”

“Oh, you filthy thing!” Freddie chastised him and laughed. “You haven’t even heard my good news yet.”

“Good news?” Jim pulled back, appreciatively taking in the shading of dark chest hair on show. “What’s the good news, princess?”

“I had a little phone call today from EMI.” Freddie trailed a finger down his chest and undid his first few buttons of his shirt. “And they very much enjoyed the demo we sent them, and they’d like to see us perform.”

“Hence the leotard?” Jim asked, still obviously distracted. 

Freddie hit his chest playfully. “I’ve got to make an impact. I need to have a good stage presence.”

“Freddie Bulsara up in lights.” Jim cupped his cheek and pecked his lips again.

“Freddie Bulsara?” Freddie scoffed. “That’s nowhere near rock’n’roll enough for me, darling. It’s Freddie Mercury.” He said confidently. “I’m going to be a star.”

“Too fucking right, baby.” Jim kissed him gently. “You’re going to be my little star, and you’re going to drag me behind you.”

“Oh, don’t be absurd.” Freddie rolled his eyes. “You’ll be my stylist, darling, you’ll have plenty of responsibility.” He smiled as Jim kissed down his neck.

“Sounds perfect to me.” Jim murmured against his throat. “I’ll have you trimmed in no time.”

“Baba?” Eva asked curiously. “Baba, why are you sparkly?”

Jim pulled away quickly, cheeks warmed with a blush: he didn’t realise Eva had seen them. “It’s a costume, darling.” Freddie replied smoothly. “I’m going up on stage.”

“You’re hairy.” She giggled, looking at his long legs on show.

“That’s because I’m a Parsi man.” Freddie grinned, more for Jim’s sake than his daughter’s. “Do you like my outfit?”

She looked him over and hummed. “Eyeshadow.” She said decisively. “Daddy make you pretty.”

“I do have a mean hand when it comes to eyeshadow.” Jim grinned.

“Oh?” Freddie teased. “Maybe you and Eva should give me a makeover.”

Eva’s little face lit up and she looked hopefully at her father. “Can we, Daddy?” She asked hopefully.

“Go on, then.” Jim chuckled. “What’s a better way to spend a Thursday evening?”

She ran upstairs to find her play makeup and Freddie walked into the lounge, picking up Theo from his Moses basket and laying him down on his stomach to play on his mat. “Don’t bend down too far in that, darling.” Jim grinned when Freddie gave him the finger. “Tea?”

“It’s an innovative mixture of the domestic and the exotic.” Freddie replied. “Don’t you think that’s my personality? You know, a lady at the supermarket today actually referred to me as exotic. Someone’ll call me ethnic next.” He paused for a second as he jumped on the counter. “Yes to tea.”

Jim whistled. “That’s bad.” He chuckled and filled up the kettle. “What did you say?”

“I mean, she intended it as a compliment.” Freddie shrugged. “She said she liked the way my skin tone brought out my eyes. She said I had a pretty face.” Freddie glowed under the praise. “She said being exotic makes me pretty, so I suppose I won’t begrudge her when she was trying to be lovely.”

“Random compliments in supermarkets?” Jim rested his hands on Freddie’s waist and kissed him lightly. “People trying to take you off my hands?”

“Oh, never.” Freddie insisted. “I love you far too much.”

Jim smiled and kissed him again, a little deeper, a little longer. “I love you too.” He pulled away when the kettle clicked. “Milk and sugar?”

“You know it.” Freddie hopped down when Eva came into the lounge armed with makeup. “Show me what you’ve got, princess!” He said excitedly.

Eva picked out a red lipstick and nodded decisively. “For Baba.” She nodded. 

“You think it’s my colour?” He asked as he sat beside her. 

“Yes.” She giggled. “And this!” She held up her eyeshadow palette and pointed to her red, orange and yellow shades. “Daddy can do this.” She told him.

“How do you think he should do it?” He questioned. “Stripey?”

Dylan looked over Eva’s shoulder and scoffed. “He has to mix them, silly. Red here-” He touched Freddie’s brow bone and the outer corner of his eye. “Orange here-” He touched the centre of Freddie’s eyelid. “Yellow here-” He touched the inner corner of his eye ever so gently.

Eva gasped and nodded excitedly. “Baba can be a rainbow!”

“Not a rainbow.” Dylan sat beside her and looked through her box. “Not enough colours.”

“Well, he can be pretty.” She nodded. “I think this.” She held up a tub of silver glitter.

“This!” Dylan held up gold and showed it to her. “It’s like the yellow.”

“Yes!” She grinned. Freddie let them chat through what they wanted to put on his face and smiled; he loved watching his children bond together. He took his mug from Jim and blew him a kiss as he sat opposite him, taking each item from Eva in turn. 

“So, what am I doing?” Jim asked.

“Eyes.” Eva nodded, handing him an eyeshadow brush and her palette. “Red, orange and yellow.”

“Oh, good choice.” Jim agreed. “It matches his outfit nicely.” He put a little yellow on his brush and leaned forward. “Close your eyes, darling.”

Jim and Eva had often played makeup together; they’d spend hours recreating pictures from magazines on her face so that they could play elaborate games of make-believe. If she wanted to play princesses, he would make her into one, pink eyeshadow and pink lip gloss while she smeared gold across his eyelids; if she wanted to play animals, he’d make her into a tiger with an eyeliner pencil. People had warned him against letting his daughter, so young, play with makeup, but it had built her confidence in a way that nothing else had; he wouldn’t say no to something that helped blossom her creativity and made her into the person she wanted to be. It was the first thing that they’d bonded over, the thing that he could do that no other prospective daddy could: he used it as a way to get to know her, whereas others had been too wary of the implications on their own masculinity.

They hadn’t played much together since Freddie had moved in; Jim had felt just a little embarrassed, somehow, of his own proficiency with the brush. But now, with Freddie blossoming into an evening sunset at the touch of his brush, he knew this could become something for their whole family. 

Freddie smiled as little fingers painted his cheeks with gold glitter and swiped red across his lips - his family were all getting stuck in, and Freddie had never felt quite so loved in his life.

“You look like tulips.” Jim mused. “I think you should take this look onstage.”

“I think the Sun would have a field day.” Freddie murmured. “It would take them ten seconds to write a headline about how I wanted to be a woman.”

Jim laughed. “Do you care about what they say?” He asked. “If your career goes the way you want, you’ll never be out of the headlines.”

Freddie hummed excitedly. “You’re right.” He opened his eyes and Jim couldn’t resist giving him a soft kiss on the lips. “Got to do my nails, then.”

* * *

Theo dropped his rattle on the floor again, giggling to himself when Freddie picked it up for him. “You know exactly what you’re doing!” Freddie picked him up and blew a raspberry on his tummy. “You know that Daddy’s a mug and he’ll pick it up for you, don’t you? My big, strong boy.” Freddie kissed his forehead. “I think it’s bath time for my little boy.”

He held Theo securely against his chest and walked into the bathroom, grabbing the baby bath from the cupboard and setting the water to fill. Dylan was happy to lay on the floor while he did so, practicing rolling onto his back; he was able to do it most times now, and he liked to roll forwards and backwards. He dribbled down his front as he did, and Freddie carefully sat him upright before he could start choking himself.

“You are getting slimy, darling.” Freddie chuckled and undid some of the little poppers on his babygrow. “Got to learn to control that tongue!” He tickled his sides when he had gotten him down to his nappy and laughed at Theo’s happy little face.

He kicked his little legs with excitement when Freddie carefully put his legs and feet in the water, and Freddie squeaked as he got splashed in the face. “Darling!” He laughed. “Darling, Theo, you’ll soak me!”

The baby giggled at the sound of Freddie’s voice and kicked harder. “Oh, you menace!” He laughed. “I’m going to have to sew your legs together!”

Jim leaned against the doorway and smiled. “Is somebody not behaving himself?” He teased.

Freddie looked over quickly and smiled, cheeks warming. “Somebody doesn’t understand that the idea of bathtime isn’t to get Baba wet too.”

Jim knelt beside him and undid his cufflinks, placing them on the counter. “Want me to try?”

“Be my guest.” Freddie smiled: there was no bigger indulgence to him than watching his fiancé caring for his baby. He carefully handed Jim a wriggling Theo, watching with awe how his gentle touch seemed to calm him immediately. “Oh, show off.”

Jim winked. “It’s the natural touch.” He joked. “He just wants to be good for his Daddy.”

“You’re home early.” Freddie kissed his cheek before he sorted Theo’s old clothes into the laundry. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I had a quiet afternoon, so I took it off.” Jim explained as he carefully wetted Theo’s hair. “I didn’t want to risk anything spilling over into parent’s evening. I’d hate to miss even two seconds of her first one.”

Freddie smiled giddily and quickly threw away his nappy in a nappy bag. “I know how that feels.” He grinned. “I can’t wait to find out how Dylan’s doing. He seems to be thriving, he hasn’t found anything difficult.”

“I feel like teachers know a different side to our kids.” He deftly washed Theo’s hair. “Like, they know their hopes and dreams and ambitions in a different way to us. I know you’re a little more involved in parenting than I am, so you probably already know a lot of it, but-”

“Darling!” Freddie hit his arm playfully. “Don’t you dare talk yourself down. Do you know how many men go out to provide for their families and still put the energy into playing make-believe or having skin time with the baby in the evenings? Your juggling act is masterful, you could write whole books.”

Jim chuckled. “It’s just doing what you love. Once upon a time I would’ve just unwound by watching television, but I feel infinitely grateful for you and for the children, so I want to make time to do their makeup or do colouring or cook for you or have sex or whatever. Our family thrives so long as we make time for one another.”

Freddie leaned on his hand, listening to his lover as though he spoke the whole, unabridged truth. “I feel very lucky that you still make time for me, too. I talk to some of my friends, and they talk about feeling their husbands spend more time working or with the children or whatever, like sex is just a duty they have to fulfil. Even- even when we’re both tired and you’ve had a bad day or I’ve been up half the night and we don’t feel like doing anything, you still take the time to lay with me and play with my hair and tell me you think I’m beautiful.”

“Because you still make the time to have dinner on the table when I get home and press my shirts. Even when you don’t feel like it, you do little things that you know will help me.” Jim kissed his cheek. “Can I have a towel?”

Freddie helped him wrap Theo up in a towel and grabbed his clothes. “You want to be a darling and dress him for me?”

“Absolutely.” Jim took the dungarees and little striped top, the vest and the nappy; despite the small fight over the nappy, he looked clean and put together in no time.

“Perfect!” Freddie smiled and kissed Jim’s cheek. “Now I need to get ready.”

* * *

“Do you know Dylan’s dream job?” Miss Honey smiled at Freddie, who was listening in raptures to what she said. He was excelling in his maths, even more so in his phonics - he’d glowed with pride when she said he was a fluent reader. “It’s interesting, I figured it must come from some aspect of his home life.”

Freddie thought for a second and then shook his head. “What is it?”

“He wants to be a musician.” She smiled. “Are there any musicians in the household?”

Freddie looked over at Jim and smiled to himself. “I’m a singer, and I play the piano.” He said shyly. “I used to play the piano for him when he was a baby.”

“I would think he’d really enjoy some piano lessons.” She smiled. “He’s got a good, methodical brain for it. He likes patterns and sequences, and he likes creating things, so I think he’d be wonderful at remembering a simple tune. Musical influences like that are so valuable in young children, even if he does choose something else when he grows up.”

The idea of giving Dylan piano lessons filled Freddie with joy. “I definitely will.” He nodded. “We’ll make time to do it together.”

“What about Eva, Mr. Hutton? Do you know what Eva wants to do?” She asked, turning to Jim.

“No.” Jim conceded, squeezing Freddie’s hand. “What’s her plan?”

“She wants to be a doctor.” She explained, and Jim was momentarily taken aback.

“A doctor?” He echoed. “You know, you could’ve said almost anything, but- a doctor?” He smiled. “My little girl’s a smart one.”

“She’s incredibly smart.” Miss Honey nodded, “Dylan is more creative, while Eva is much more scientific. She likes problem solving, and she loves her maths. Once I taught her how to use the blocks to calculate simple sums, she was loving it immediately.” She nodded. “She’s well above her age in her development. I’ll definitely be giving her some higher level work so that she doesn’t get bored in our classes.”

Jim looked as though he could burst with pride. “Why a doctor?” He asked curiously.

“She loves to help others in the class. A few weeks ago, one of the little boys fell down in the playground and she was the one who helped him get inside so he could be treated in the sick bay. She’s incredibly empathetic.” Miss Honey smiled. “I, for one, would be very happy to have her as my doctor.”

* * *

_ “Are you really as outrageous as your stage persona?” _

_ A warm laugh, the sipping of tea. “It depends on what you define as outrageous, my dear.” A simple response, well considered. “I’m sure some people would think I’m outrageous simply because I raise my family with another man. It might take the stories of my times with four other men to get others to think I’m outrageous.” _

_ “You’re very outspoken about your sexuality. Do you think there’s really that big of a gay scene in London?” _

_ He just about holds back the eye roll. “Darling, it’s not to do with the ‘scene’.” He scoffs. “Gay men exist, and they’re everywhere. Some of them are doing their shopping next to you, and some of them are working in office cubicles, and some of them are actors, and some of them are fucking other men in the club next door to your favourite bar. They’re real, they exist, and they don’t only exist in sleazy environments. I, for one, met my fiancé in a children’s park when his daughter befriended my son.” _

_ “Tell me about your family.” _

_ Warm cheeks, a more relaxed demeanour. “I have two biological sons, a five year old and a three month old, and my fiancé has adopted a four year old little girl.” _

_ “And how do they get on with your family?” _

_ “Who knows?” The smile turns wry. “I’m not even out to my parents. I’m sure that they’ll meet my partner soon, we’re getting married after all, but it’s not exactly an easy pill to swallow when your faith is grounded in the unity between man and woman in marriage.” _

_ “If you wanted our listeners to remember one thing about you and your music, what would it be?” _

_ “My music means whatever you want it to mean.” A long drag on a cigarette. “Once, it was mine, and now it is yours. Enjoy it, sing it, change it, make it yours. The beauty is in whatever it means to you.” _

_ “Ladies and gentlemen, this is Liar.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The support and love on this fic is absolutely insane!! I love all of you thank you so much for your lovely comments on this!
> 
> p.s. if you get the cherry coke and liquorice = retro reference in here I will be amazed


	14. Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a big step, and he's more than a little nervous.

Freddie flopped back onto the bed, sketchbook in hand, watching as Jim undid his shirt. To Jim, he looked like heaven; his hair was beginning to get long again, curling lightly at the ends, and he was buried in a traditional Persian kaftan, gold silk wrapped around his warm skin. “So the band’s called Queen?” He asked.

“As in her royal highness.” Freddie grinned and watched his lover. “And because it’s outrageous, and I can’t think of anyone more outrageous than me.”

“You were possibly the least outrageous person ever when I met you.” Jim crawled on top of him, half-dressed in sweatpants, and pressed a kiss to his lips. “What’s happened to that good little Persian boy?”

“He’s still in here somewhere.” Freddie grinned and cupped his cheek. “He’s just been liberated, is all.”

“I like it.” Jim kissed him again, cherry red lips drunk on the feeling of purpose. “I like my outrageous fiancé.”

Freddie giggled and kissed his lower lip. “Darling, can I ask you a favour?”

“Depends what it is.” Jim laid down beside him and flicked the bedroom light off, leaving the room a little more sultry and lamplit.

“Can I move the piano up here?” Freddie looked up at their headboard. “My upright one. I want to put it here.” He pointed at the headboard.

Jim grinned and kissed his neck. “But then how am I going to tie you to it?” He asked teasingly.

Freddie slapped his ass playfully. “Your mind is in the gutter!” He laughed. “I keep waking up with songs in mind, and I used to- I had a piano behind the bed when I lived with Mary. I can play it backwards.” He tilted his head back and let him kiss down his neck. 

“Backwards?” Jim laughed. “I haven’t heard that one before.”

Freddie rolled onto his front and looked up at his fiancé, big doe eyes and the most innocent of smiles on his face. “If we get a piano up here then I’ll show you.”

“You’ll keep me up half the night playing it.” Jim cupped his chin and pulled lightly on his lower lip with the pad of his thumb. “I’ve got to go to work, I can’t be tired.”

“I simply won’t allow it.” Freddie insisted, rolling on top of him. “I’ll keep you here forever and ever.”

Jim chuckled and lay his head back on the pillow, looking so adorably soft and comfortable in Freddie’s mind. “So you’re going to support me when I get fired?”

“Oh, darling-” Freddie leaned down and kissed him softly. “You know I’ll always look after you.”

“You make big promises when you’re tired, Mr-” Jim paused for a moment. “What are we going to call you?”

Freddie sat up, knelt astride his hips, and considered it for a moment. “Bulsara-Hutton doesn’t exactly have a ring to it.” He frowned.

“Mercury-Hutton?” Jim smiled. “Use your stage name.”

“I don’t think so.” Freddie shook his head. “Mercury is- he’s an invention. He’s silly and sexy and confident and bold, but he only really exists when I’m in that mindset. Mercury-Hutton sounds like I’m trying to blend the characters, but I’m not. When I’m at home, I’m just- I’m not outrageous.” He hummed. “Not really. I’m a bit shy and a bit silly and I find it easier to talk to babies than people. I like that side of myself, I don’t want to try and blend it with a persona.”

Jim listened curiously. “You could just stay Bulsara, you know. If you want to, I don’t mind.”

Freddie hummed. “Can I take Hutton?”

Jim smiled and brushed a curl back from his face. “If you want to.” He nodded. “Why?”

“Hutton is just- it’s so homely.” Freddie smiled. “Hutton feels like family. That’s what I feel like when I’m at home, I feel like a Hutton.”

“Then you can be a Hutton, my darling.” Jim smiled. “What about Dyl and Theo?”

Freddie hummed as he thought. “I’ll have to apply to have their names changed. I’ll need Mary’s permission, but seeing as she’s an Austin instead of Bulsara now, and if I’m not a Bulsara any longer, it doesn’t make sense to keep the name for the children. It means I’ll have to tell her about you.” Freddie traced his hand down Jim’s front. “I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“Does she know that you’re gay?” Jim questioned.

“She knows that I was fooling around with guys, but I don’t think she knows that that’s what I’ve settled on.” Freddie shrugged. “I don’t mind if the whole damn world knows, except maybe my parents.” He chuckled.

* * *

The lounge was far too small for a grand piano, but Jim persisted regardless; he loved the sound of the old ivory keys when Freddie would sit and play for them in the evening, Theo lulled to sleep in his Moses basket and Dylan watching his fingers in raptures from the comfort of Jim’s lap. Eva would sit up on Freddie’s lap, having never seen the piano played in that way before, and would occasionally tap a key just to understand how it worked, though she never understood how it sounded so different when Freddie played.

Jim cracked his knuckles and sat down at the bench, stretching out his fingers and playing a few chords to himself. Freddie was down at the clinic for a health check on the baby, Dylan and Eva were at school, and he had the afternoon off work, leaving him alone in the house with the lure of the big grand piano in his lounge.

He’d been a good player back in his day.

It surprised him, really, how easy it was for it all to come flooding back; the familiar ache when he held his shoulders too tightly, the wince of a wrong note, fingers fluid and fast over the keys as he remembered each and every tune. It was easier to remember the ones he’d written over the ones he’d learned, the ones he’d spent hours slaving over and working out what came next, what sounded best.

Freddie leaned against the doorway, watching his fiancé from afar, aghast at his talent with the instrument in front of him: he’d never even mentioned knowing how to play the most basic tune. But Jim, his fingers could travel faster than Freddie’s, could attempt tunes more complex and daring without ever breaking his flow; he played without music, eyes closed, and Freddie had never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

It was Theo’s babbling that snapped him out of the trance.

His fingers faltered and he looked around quickly, spotting Freddie by the door to the lounge; he held Theo, who was reaching excitedly for his Daddy, wanting to see Jim. 

“Show off.” Freddie commented with a smile, walking towards his fiancé. “How long were you planning to keep that one a secret?”

“I haven’t played in a while.” Jim stood up and took the baby. 

“As if.” Freddie grinned. “You haven’t played in a while and you come out with that?”

“I haven’t!” Jim laughed. “I haven’t had time with a toddler around!”

“Excuses.” Freddie leaned up and kissed his lips softly. “You sound wonderful, darling. Better than me. Theo loved every second of it.”

The baby was tugging on one of Jim’s cufflinks, enthralled by the way it sparkled in the sunlight. “He certainly seems happy.” Jim moved him up onto his shoulder and kissed the top of his head. “Do we have a happy boy?”

“Oh, very happy.” Freddie leaned against the sofa and smiled. “He’s a little low on body weight, so we’ve got to feed him up. The nurse has given me some comfort formula to try, it’s a little more broken down, so hopefully he’ll be able to take a little more of it.” Freddie shrugged. “He was premature, it’s normal. He’s just playing catch up.”

Jim twirled him around playfully, loving the sound of his giggles. “Sounds to me like he’s happy enough.”

“I’m going to go and prepare some bottles for him.” Freddie kissed his cheek. “I’m behind.”

“Oh, no.” Jim insisted immediately. “You put your feet up. I’ll do it.”

Freddie’s cheeks warmed and he smiled. “Are you sure?”

“I insist.” Jim pressed a soft kiss to his lips and handed the baby over. “I’ll bring one out to you.”

* * *

Freddie had strategically chosen a time when the children were at school and Jim was at work to invite his parents over, when it was just him and Theo at home; he’d done his best to clean up quickly, doing the dishes and picking up the toys scattered all over the lounge. He wanted to make a good impression. 

Theo had just gone down for a nap when the doorbell went. He’d had a bad night, and Freddie was a little worse for wear because of it; he’d been having some colic pain again and he’d been difficult to calm. Freddie was halfway through the third coffee of the morning, relieved that his son was finally getting some rest. 

“Hi!” Freddie smiled as he opened the door, seeing his mother, father and his sister stood there. He’d invited Kash over for moral support, seeing as she already knew his announcement: he wanted someone to fight his corner in case of things turning sour. “Come in, come in, sorry it’s so small-” He smiled bashfully. “I’m afraid the baby’s just gone down, but you can see him later.” He closed the door behind them and led them into the lounge. 

“This is a lovely place, darling.” Jer commented, thanking him when he handed her a mug of tea. “When you said you’d had to move out, I was awfully worried, but this place is wonderful!”

“It’s bigger because it’s a maisonette.” Freddie quickly kicked one of Jim’s socks under the sofa. “There’s more room for us all.”

“Oh, absolutely.” She agreed. “Does Theo have a room now? You know, he really should if you’re going to get him to sleep through the night.”

Freddie finished handing out the drinks and sat down. “He does. He’s been sleeping through a few nights a week for about a month now.” He crossed his legs and sipped his tea. “I’m still practicing getting him to go down smoothly.”

“That’s good to hear!” She smiled. “You could give Kash a lesson with Jem.”

“Hey!” Kash frowned, holding Jemuel in her lap. “He goes down just fine, thank you very much.”

“It’s not a competition.” Bomi said diplomatically. “We’d much rather all of our grandchildren were doing well.”

“Dylan’s doing wonderfully.” Freddie smiled. “We had his parent’s evening the other day.”

“How’s he doing?” Jer asked, clearly excited.

“His maths is above average, his reading is fluent, and he wants to be a musician when he grows up.” Freddie grinned. 

“Just like his daddy.” Kash smiled. 

“A musician?” Bomi asked. “If he’s good at maths, you should encourage him into accountancy or engineering or something. Get him building.”

“I’m giving him piano lessons.” Freddie replied, taking another sip of tea. “He’s five and he enjoys it. We’ll think about careers when he’s a little older.” He spoke with warm humour in his voice. 

“Maybe you’re right.” He conceded. “You certainly enjoyed piano at that age.”

“As it happens, I’m discussing with a record label at the moment.” Freddie lit a cigarette quickly. “Who are very interested in my band and I, and would like us to record an album.”

“You’re joking.” Bomi replied.

“No, really!” Freddie grinned. “It’s such a good job while I have the little ones, too. I can take his basket to the studio and look after him at the same time.”

“That’s so good!” Bomi stood up and brought Freddie into a hug. “I’m so proud of you, son.”

Freddie hugged back and smiled to himself. His father was clearly in a good mood. “Thank you, Dad.” He said softly. 

“What are you going to do if you have to perform, darling?” Jer asked him. “We could always have the children if you needed.”

Freddie’s cheeks turned red and he looked down at his mug when he sat down. The mug was a new one, a silly and impulsive buy when he’d been shopping down in Kensington: he’d seen a boutique with a wall of mugs, and he’d originally intended to buy Jim one with _ daddy _ across the front of it. When he’d spotted this one, though, with _ baba _inked in baby blue letters, he hadn’t been able to resist buying them ones that matched. He’d bought them a whole range of matching items recently, now that they were due to be married; they’d even gotten a pair of matching briefs with liquorice allsorts printed on.

“I’ve actually-” He bit his lip. “I’m not living on my own at the moment.”

Jer’s face lit up. “Have you found somebody?” She asked hopefully. “Is she nice? Does she have any children? How does she feel about the baby? How long have you known her? Does Mary know?”

“Mum-” Freddie said quickly. “Mum, slow down. It’s- it’s not quite the same as when I was with Mary.”

“What do you mean?” Bomi asked, frowning. Kash shot him a comforting smile from behind his back and shushed Jem when he started to wake, letting the little boy settle comfortably against her chest. 

“I’ve fallen in love with a man.” He admitted, crushing his cigarette in the ashtray beside the sofa. 

“Oh.” Bomi replied, and Freddie’s heart leaped into his throat.

“I know it’s weird.” He said quickly, trying to justify himself. “I know, I thought I was straight but it- it just happened, and I feel differently with him than I’ve ever felt before, he’s so lovely-”

“Freddie.” Bomi rested a hand on his shoulder. “Freddie, you don’t need to explain yourself.”

“I just-” Freddie bit his lip. “I don’t want you to hate me.”

“Oh, darling.” He pulled Freddie into a hug. “I don’t hate you. You’re still my son.”

Freddie felt a little teary-eyed, small and vulnerable. “You don’t mind that I love him?”

“It doesn’t make a difference.” He promised. “As long as he looks after you and the children. How does he feel about them?”

“He loves the children.” Freddie smiled shyly. “He loves to snuggle with Theo and play with Dylan. He’s got a daughter himself, she’s Dylan’s best friend. That’s how we met.”

“A daughter without a mother?” Jer frowned. “Is that a good idea?”

“She was in a children’s home.” Freddie said, a little more defensive. “She had no parents at all before us. Surely two dads has got to be better than no parents at all.”

Jer nodded, conceding to his argument. “I suppose you’re right, darling. I wouldn’t want any of my little ones not having anyone.”

“When can we meet this guy?” Bomi asked. “I’d like to talk to him myself.”

“I, for one, think he sounds lovely.” Kash said loudly, winking at Freddie. “I’d love to meet him.”

* * *

“Honey, I’m home!” Jim called out, chuckling to himself. It had been a good day at the salon, and he always enjoyed the days that he got to put money in Freddie’s pocket; the day afterwards usually gave him some new piece of eye-candy to enjoy. 

Freddie came out into the corridor quickly, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “My parents are here.” He said softly. “They want to meet you, is that okay?”

Jim wound an arm around his waist and stole another kiss from his lips. “I don’t mind.” He hummed. “I feel like there’s worse times to meet them than when I’m in a suit and I’ve had a good day.”

“I’m glad you’ve had a good day.” Freddie pecked his lips and loosened off his collar for him. “They’re in the lounge.”

“Lead the way.” Jim took his hand and let him go forward into the lounge.

The faces were unfamiliar, but they smiled warmly at him. “Hi.” He greeted, smiling shyly. “I’m Jim, I’m Freddie’s fiancé.”

“Fiancé?” Bomi questioned, standing up to shake his hand. “I’m Bomi, Freddie’s dad.”

“I proposed a couple of weeks ago.” He smiled. “It’s early, but we’re-” He glanced at Freddie over his shoulder and smiled. “We’re just so happy together.”

Bomi patted him on the back and chuckled. “So long as you’re looking after my boy.”

“Oh, absolutely.” Jim hugged Jer and Kash and then sat beside Freddie. Freddie instinctively curled into his side, settling close to his lover; at any other time, he would’ve been in Jim’s lap, but he was strictly on his best behaviour. 

“What do you do for a living, darling?” Jer asked, looking Jim over appreciatively. “Do you work in the city?”

“Definitely not.” Jim chuckled. “I’m not especially a brains kind of guy. No, I’m a senior stylist at a salon in Knightsbridge. It works out at just over a hundred grand a year.”

Freddie smiled when his father looked impressed and squeezed Jim’s hand. “I told you he looks after me.” He said softly.

“Do you do much for the children?” Jer asked. “Or is that Freddie’s role?”

“I work part time so I can be at home when the kids have finished school. Generally I drop them off and Freddie picks them up.” Jim smiled. “I’d like to say we’re equally hands-on, though that’s not quite true, because Freddie obviously looks after Theo during the day and insists on being the one to look after him at night.”

“Every time he’s stayed asleep for the night, Jim’s put him down.” Freddie chuckled. “He’s got magic hands. There’s something in the way that he feeds him that means he doesn’t get colic through the night.” He looked up at his fiancé and smiled, a little giddy with love for him. 

“Daddy?” Dylan came into the room; he’d heard his father’s voice and was confused as to why Jim hadn’t come to find him when he’d gotten home. 

“Hello, darling.” Jim softened immediately, holding out a hand for his son as he clambered into his lap. “Are you okay?”

The little boy nodded furiously and smiled. “I drew a picture.” He handed it to him. “For Baba too.”

Freddie glanced over his shoulder: the picture was a riot of colour, two big bodies and three little bodies, one with long hair, one with curly hair, one tiny and laying on the floor. The house behind them was patchwork brick, the sun high in the sky, flowers on the windows - Jim had always insisted on window boxes despite their lack of a garden.

“That’s beautiful, darling.” Freddie smiled. “I love it.”

“Well done, sweetheart.” Jim kissed his forehead. “We’ll put it on the fridge later on, okay?”

He nodded and snuggled up, happy to cuddle with his daddy for a little while. “So how long do you intend to be with my son?”

“Dad-” Freddie started, blushing scarlet.

“No, darling, I want to know that he’s serious.” Bomi insisted. “What do you intend to do with him? Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

Freddie groaned with embarrassment and rested his head on Jim’s shoulder. “I’d like us to be married as soon as we can.” Jim rose to the question and kissed the top of his head. “In ten years- well, hopefully Freddie will be world successful. Our children will grow up to be whatever they want to be, and maybe we’ll have a few more little faces around.”

“You’d like more children?” Kash perked up, remembering days of sharing a room with Freddie and talking into the small hours of the morning about children. 

“One more, at least. Maybe two.” His hand skimmed Freddie’s side. “We haven’t talked about it much yet.”

“I’d like that.” Freddie smiled up at him. “A really big family.”

“But we’ll take things one stop at a time.” Jim caught his chin with his thumb and pulled him into a soft kiss. “We’ve got a wedding to plan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will forever be like 🥰🥰 because of the amount of love and support on this fic!


	15. Irish Cream Liquor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He really, really wasn't expecting the visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not often I laugh out loud at my own writing but this chapter might genuinely be my favourite thing I've ever written

One eye opened confirmed his suspicions: Freddie Bulsara was asleep against his chest, and he was drooling. He was so fucking comfortable, so ridiculously relaxed, that he was drooling against his lover’s chest, fingers clutched tight in his shirt, but he was so beautiful that Jim almost couldn’t cope with the sight.

He reached, fumbling and blind, for his camera on the bedside table and laughed as he took a photo of him. Freddie’s eyelashes fluttered at the click of the shutter and he moaned as he stretched out, his hip cracking as he moved. Jim wrapped his arms tightly around his fiancé and pulled him closer as Freddie took in a long breath, one eye opening sleepily. “Jim?” He murmured.

“I’m here, baby.” Jim kissed his forehead. “I’ve got you.”

His eyes fluttered shut tiredly and he yawned. “Baby?” He asked.

“He’s asleep.” Jim promised. “I fed him about half an hour ago.”

Freddie moaned again and wrapped both arms around his waist. “Thank you.” He kissed Jim’s collarbone.

Jim closed his eyes again and tangled their legs together, pressing a row of kisses over any skin he could touch with his lips. Freddie shivered, sleepy and pliant in his arms and tilted his head to the side, giving Jim a glimpse of rough stubbled cheek and more skin to kiss; he hummed happily as warm lips trailed his jawline and finally leaned up to kiss him properly.

It was slow, unhurried, gentle bliss and passion, two men wrapped up in their love and support for one another. Freddie’s lips were warm when Jim took them between his own, kissing his lower lip deeply; he could feel his pulse in the smallest vein under his tongue. Jim tasted of coffee, and his mouth was artificially warm, but Freddie just lightly trailed his tongue over Jim’s to take in the taste for himself.

“What the fuck syrup did you put in that coffee?” Freddie pulled back after a few minutes, licking the backs of his own teeth to chase the flavour. 

“I can’t believe I was thinking about our wedding and you were trying to taste my coffee.” Jim laughed roughly.

“Oh, baby!” Freddie laughed, sitting up and straddling Jim’s hips. He stretched upwards and his neck clicked loudly, the sound alone making Jim wince. “You’re definitely the romantic in this relationship.”

Jim raked his eyes over Freddie’s bare chest appreciatively. Freddie tilted his head back and Jim scanned over his torso, the dark trail of hair running down to his navel, down to where his sweatpants were slipping low-

“Wait-” He ran his thumb over Freddie’s hip and pulled down his sweatpants another inch. “You’ve got a fucking tattoo, since when?”

Freddie grinned and pulled them down further; Jim’s hands all over his body made him feel so gorgeous, so radiant, so beautiful - he couldn’t imagine ever being self-conscious in this home, with this man. “Since about a month ago.” He chuckled.

Jim traced the six little dots on Freddie’s hip bone: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice.” He murmured. “It’s so pretty.”

“It’s a celebration. I spent so long feeling like I was a bad person because I knew secretly that I was gay, but I tried to ignore it.” He ran his fingers over the little bumps. “This is me, being who I am.”

Jim linked their fingers together and squeezed his hand. “My husband-to-be.” He kissed his knuckles. 

“Husband.” Freddie echoed; the words warmed him inside. “I’m going to be your husband.”

“My husband.” Jim smiled and shifted to sit up a little, pressing another kiss to his lips. “We’re going to be married.”

“I can’t wait.” Freddie wrapped his arms around Jim’s neck and rested their foreheads together. “I love you.”

Jim relaxed into the pillow behind him and captured his lips once more. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

Freddie leaned over him and picked up his cigarettes and a match, settling comfortably in his lap as he lit one for them to share. “I must admit, darling, I do love having a newborn, but I also love being able to just wake up and smoke in bed without having to rush up because he’s crying.”

“That’s because I’ve already done it.” Jim chuckled and kissed the column of his throat. “The syrup was Irish cream, by the way.”

“Where did you get that monstrosity?” Freddie grinned, ashing his cigarette over the side of the bed. “What’s it even supposed to taste of?”

“You’ve never had Bailey’s?” Jim arched an eyebrow.

“I’ve never even heard of it.” Freddie laughed. “What is it?”

“It’s traditional. It’s like a cream liquor that we drink around Christmas.” Jim smiled. “And seeing as it’s November, it’s practically Christmas in London, and it’s in all the shops. I picked it up on my way home yesterday.”

Freddie leaned forward and licked into his mouth to taste it again. “The taste is fading.” He pouted. “I can’t decide if I like it or not.”

“Maybe it’s just drowned out by your cigarette mouth.” Jim wrinkled his nose. “You taste awful.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Freddie rolled his eyes and placed the cigarette between Jim’s appreciative lips, watching the way his cheeks hollowed as he took a drag. “You don’t complain when I suck you off when I’ve been smoking.”

“Masks the taste.” Jim smirked. “Makes your mouth all warm.”

Freddie stuck out his tongue, deliberately provocative, and winked. “You can’t decide if you want to sweet talk me or not.”

“I always want to sweet talk you.” Jim squeezed his hip with his spare hand as he took a drag. “I just also have to tell you the truth about when you really desperately need to brush your teeth.”

* * *

Dylan sat up in Jim’s lap, patiently pressing each piano key he was told in turn. They’d stuck little letter stickers on their piano to help Dylan as he started to learn, but his teacher had been so right about his ability to learn quickly: he could remember the strings of keys that he had to press in turn, and how quickly or slowly he had to press them. He’d been learning for a few weeks, and he could already play a basic tune; one of his new favourite things to do was to play the right hand while Freddie played the left, creating a tune together.

“You’re doing so well, darling.” Jim kissed the top of his head. “You’re getting so good at playing now!”

Dylan’s cheeks pinkened with pride and he grinned up at his Daddy. “Can Daddy play?” He asked hopefully.

“Oh, absolutely!” Jim agreed. “Do you want to play too?”

He shook his head. “I want to watch.” 

Jim set his fingers on the keys and smiled to himself. “I wrote this song for your baba. I haven’t played it for him yet, you’re the first person to hear it.” He told him.

The little boy smiled and settled against his father as he listened to him play, seeming to relax instantaneously in his arms. “It’s pretty.” He told Jim. “Do you love Baba?”

“Very much.” Jim murmured distractedly. “We’re going to get married.”

“What does that mean?” He asked.

“So you remember how your Mummy used to wear a ring that Baba gave her?” He asked. “That showed that they loved each other very much. But then she took it off, which means Baba isn’t married anymore.” His smile was involuntary as he thought of the future. “So now I get to give him a special ring.”

“Can Baba take it off?” Dylan asked.

“Well-” Jim faltered. “He could, one day. But he’d only do that if he didn’t love me anymore, and we love each other very much.”

“Will you always love Baba?” Dylan asked, suddenly sounding so little again. 

“Yes, my darling.” Jim promised. “I love him now, and I will always love him.”

* * *

Jim laid on his stomach, his hands slick with oil, thumbs rhythmically massaging over Theo’s feet as the baby lay relaxed on his back, sucking on his fingers. “You’re so soft.” Jim smiled to himself. “Don’t tell Baba, darling, but I prefer doing this for you than for him. I like the little noises you make.” He grinned. 

His new favourite thing was spending time alone with the baby, without the pressure of the rest of the family around them; the children were at school, Freddie would go out for a run, and they’d be left alone for a while. When they were left alone, they’d spend time together, the baby snug against his chest or giggling on his mat or, like now, nestled comfortably on his back amongst the blankets with Jim’s gentle fingers massaging his legs and his tummy.

The baby giggled involuntarily when Jim massaged his thighs, and Jim laughed himself. “You’re so adorable.” He kissed his tummy. “You’re my little boy, aren’t you? My sweet little thing.” He kissed his forehead this time. “My precious tiny boy.”

The baby reached up and grabbed his chin and Jim grinned, blowing a raspberry on his stomach. Theo screeched with laughter and he did the same again, narrowly missing a kick square to the face before he picked him up and sat him on his knee, carefully supporting his back. 

“It’s our three month anniversary soon.” Jim murmured, using his free hand to carefully massage Theo’s shoulders. “Do you think that’s too early to celebrate? Is it too cheesy?” He moved his fingers down his arms, right down to his wrists. “I want to buy your Baba three dozen roses, but I don’t know if he’ll think that that’s just an indulgent waste of money.”

When Jim looked at his son’s face again, the look of elated joy, it seemed to tell him everything he needed. “You’re right.” He agreed. “I think he’d love it. I hope he would.” The baby yawned a little and Jim chuckled. “I worry too much, don’t I? I don’t want him to think I’m rushing things, but then he did agree to marry me.”

The little boy held his fist to his mouth, the surefire sign that he was hungry, and Jim leaned over to pick his babygrow off the bed to dress him again. “It’s lunch time, isn’t it?” He smiled and kissed the end of his nose. “I’ll warm a bottle for you.”

They wandered downstairs, Jim’s hair lazily unbrushed, shirtless, sweatpants slung low on his hips; he was three days unshaven, admittedly more because Freddie found it impossibly sexy rather than complete laziness. When he’d woken him with a blowjob that morning, playfully nuzzling when he pulled back to breathe, he hadn’t expected that to be the reason that Freddie came all over his face.

Then again, what a way to start the morning.

He set Theo on his mat and yawned, stretching out and listening to the angry click of his shoulder. He put a bottle on to warm and looked over when the doorbell went - Freddie had gone out running without his keys, citing them as an inconvenience as they weighed down one side - and pressed the buzzer without answering. He wandered back into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on, pulling out another mug for Freddie by instinct, but frowned when there came a knock on the flat door instead of Freddie barging in, sweating and out of breath.

He picked up the baby - he didn’t like to leave him unsupervised, and he didn’t know how long he’d be at the door - and pulled the door open.

Bomi stared back at him, both men momentarily taken aback by each other’s presence, before Jer broke the silence. “It’s lovely to see you, darling!” She said with a smile, looking at the baby. Theo had been asleep last time they’d come to visit, and so they hadn’t had a chance to glance at their grandson at all recently. “Isn’t your little one getting so strong?”

Jim cradled him instinctively and moved out the way so that they could come inside. “Do you want to take him for a moment?” He offered. “God, I’m so sorry, I had no idea you were coming or I would’ve at least gotten dressed-”

“I’d love to!” She smiled, taking the baby. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, we came unannounced. We thought you’d be at work and Freddie would be in.”

“I’ve got the day off.” Jim explained quickly; he was still trying to make a good impression. “Freddie’s just gone out for a run, he’ll be back before long.”

“A runner?” Bomi arched an eyebrow. “Never would’ve thought of that for my boy.”

“I’ll just-” Jim excused himself and ran upstairs, wrestling himself into a pair of jeans and a sweater and brushing his teeth quickly, paranoid Freddie’s parents would catch him smelling of sex and come. “I’m so sorry.” He apologised as he ran back downstairs. “Can I get you anything? Tea, coffee, the works? I’ve just boiled the kettle.”

“Tea would be wonderful.” Jer agreed, settling on the sofa with a hungry Theo.

“I need to give him his next bottle.” Jim said, slightly flustered. “Sorry, I’m not usually this incompetent-”

“Darling, stop apologising!” Jer laughed. “We caught you unawares, it’s perfectly fine. I’ll give him that bottle if you’d like.” She offered. “I haven’t done it since Freddie was a little boy himself.”

The image of Freddie as a baby, curled up as Theo was, was such an adorable image that it hit Jim’s heart off guard. “That would be great.” He said after a brief pause, grabbing the warm bottle from the kitchen and handing it to her. “You’re a lifesaver, thank you.”

Bomi followed him into the kitchen when he went to make drinks under the premise of helping to carry the mugs. “He’s certainly turned very liberal since he met you.” He commented, and clarified himself at Jim’s confused face. “Freddie, I mean.”

“Liberal?” Jim questioned. “What, as in…?” He trailed off, still not understanding.

“Life here is very different.” Bomi leaned against the counter. “He can live with you, to begin with. That wouldn’t have happened where we lived before.”

“Oh?” Jim asked, feigning interest when in reality the conversation was shooting butterflies through his stomach.

“We lived in a very modest society.” He explained. “I’m still not used to-” He gestured at Jim. “Men being so freely… immodest, I suppose. Freddie wouldn’t even wear his hair uncovered when we lived in India.”

“He covered his hair?” Jim questioned, suddenly interested in this different side of a man he thought he knew so well. “Why?”

“I brought the children up Zoroastrian.” He explained. “Parsi. I must admit, I don’t think it settled particularly well with Freddie, especially judging by his current behaviour.” He shrugged. “But it was dangerous to be Parsi at that time, so we dressed as other religions to fit in. Freddie modelled himself as a Sikh, so he wore the turban.”

Jim immediately knew that he had to see photos of this, or maybe even the thing itself. “He’s never done that around me.”

“He’s stopped doing a lot of what he used to.” Bomi paused. “But he’s happier now. That’s important.”

Jim stopped making the drinks and looked over at him. “You think so?”

“I know so.” He nodded. “I must- I have to get my head around it. I’ve been trained to see a lot of what he does as wrong.” He admitted.

“Like what?” Jim asked shyly.

“I’m traditional.” He said simply. “A man marries a woman and provides for her. A man doesn’t marry another man and stay at home.” He chewed on the inside of his lip. “But I like you. You’re not like a lot of other men.”

“As in…?” Jim trailed off again.

“You’re committed.” He nodded; Jim could’ve pointed out the horrendous stereotype that gay men didn’t commit, but he thought better of it. “And you clearly care about the children, and about him. He’s certainly more immodest now, but I keep reminding myself that immodest doesn’t necessarily mean immoral.”

“Definitely not.” Jim agreed. “Especially with the children, he’s a complete wonder.”

“When he was with Mary back in India, he used to phone his mother crying an awful lot. He didn’t really ever explain why, he just didn’t enjoy his life and what he was doing. He didn’t like being the sole provider, he felt pressured to stay in a job he hated, he didn’t really love his wife like he knew he should’ve, and he struggled to balance working and looking after the children. Since he moved, he’s- he’s just been so different.” Bomi smiled then. “He’s relaxed. He’s who he’s supposed to be. And if that means he-” He paused as though the words pained him. “He engages in pedication, I suppose that’s okay.”

Jim’s cheeks flushed scarlet and he turned back to the tea quickly. “How do you take your tea?” He asked. 

“I like mine white, whereas Jer prefers hers with just a dash of milk. Two sugars in each.” Bomi replied, and Jim followed his orders quickly, relieved by the second buzz of the doorbell.

“Good afternoon, darling, I’m fucking starving!” Freddie called out as he walked into the hallway, unashamed as always.

* * *

“I discussed anal sex with your father.” Jim grabbed Freddie’s pillow and held it over his own face. “I genuinely looked the grim reaper in the eye, and he laughed at me.”

“You’re being dramatic.” Freddie rolled his eyes. He was stood at the foot of the bed, lazily brushing his teeth, stripped down to his black boyshorts, and he looked entirely delightful, but Jim wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to look at him without thinking of the word  _ pedication  _ ever again.

“I’m being dramatic?” He threw the pillow at Freddie. “Oh, I’ll just phone up my mother and you can tell her the best lube to buy, then. I’m sure you’d love that conversation.”

Freddie laughed so hard that he spat toothpaste on Jim’s leg and had to run into the bathroom to wash his mouth out. “I’m being serious!” Jim called after him. “Your father looked me in the eye and told me it was fine if I was fucking you!”

“Shush!” Freddie rubbed soap suds from his chin with a towel and then threw it at Jim. “I did not put our baby to bed for you to wake him up screeching about my father and sex, of all things.”

“I just- I thought the shovel talk was supposed to be the worst bit? I thought he was supposed to threaten me and then we’d be best friends.” Jim used the towel to cover his face again. “Nowhere in the ‘new boyfriend manual’ does it mention discussing sex with your father-in-law.”

“It was hardly a discussion. It was a passing reference.” Freddie dropped a kiss on the towel over his cheek and lay next to him. “That’s my father’s version of best friends, darling. That’s as good as him saying he’s delighted that you’re his son-in-law. One day you’ll look back at it and laugh.”

“I hope my mother questions why you take fucking laxatives, then.” He rolled his eyes. “This is my fiancé, please ask him why he takes Imodium and Dulcolax.”

Freddie smacked his chest playfully. “Don’t be so foul.”

“You watch, darling. She’ll ask you something horrendous when you meet her.” He grinned, suddenly feeling better, and grabbed his cigarettes from the bedside table. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“Game on, Hutton.” Freddie took a cigarette from the packet and lit it off the end of Jim’s. “Hit me with your best shot.”


	16. Cookie Dough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding places.

The baby slept snugly against Freddie’s chest, little cheek smushed against his skin; Freddie found himself restlessly trailing his fingers against Theo’s warm skin, using him to calm himself. Jim’s arm was warm, wound tightly around his waist as he pressed the doorbell, almost jittering with excitement: Freddie wasn’t sure why he himself was filled with dread.

When Jim had met his parents, he’d been so sure, so calm, so honestly and unambiguously himself. He hadn’t been shy to love Freddie around them, hadn’t been too embarrassed when his parents had said the wrong things. He wasn’t sure, though, now he was in the same situation, that he would be so calm.

It wasn’t often that he felt so young. Having a baby at sixteen was a sobering thing, had brought his childhood abruptly crashing to an end and taken along with it any dream he’d had left of somebody looking after him for a few more years; he hadn’t felt so childlike since the day he’d first held Dylan in the corridor of the maternity ward, his wife lost somewhere in a maze of tears of joy and grief. He hadn’t felt like a child since the baby had begun to cry, and he’d suddenly felt so lost, no mother or nurse to help him: he hadn’t felt like a child since he, alone, had worked out how to bathe him, how to keep his clip in place, how to dress him without bending his arms and legs awkwardly, how to soothe midnight tears quickly and how to turn on the bottle warmer with his foot when his hands were otherwise engaged.

Now, though, he felt like a child, nervous and wound up about making the wrong impression. He turned into Jim’s side a little, seeking comfort, and his heart rate slowed a little when Jim squeezed him and gave him a soft kiss on the top of his head. “I’m scared.” He admitted.

“Oh, baby.” Jim held him closer. “You don’t have to be scared. She’ll love you, I promise, she’ll see how happy you make me and that’s all she cares about.”

Freddie nodded reluctantly and straightened himself out as the lock clicked. A riot of noise from inside washed over them: someone was playing the piano, someone else singing, two people talking loudly, one person having a seemingly one-sided argument - Freddie assumed he was probably on the phone - and someone else, someone who had to be no older than three or four, was babbling excitedly.

“Welcome to the madhouse!” A woman stood in front of them, and Freddie found himself momentarily thinking that she looked like what he’d imagined Mary to be if they’d grown older together. Red lipstick and bleached hair, apron wrapped snugly around her waist, happy lines drawn in the corners of her eyes, her hands so soft as she came forward and wrapped Freddie in a hug. “You must be Freddie!”

He hugged back as best he could with Theo in his arms and tried to force himself to relax a little. “That’s me, Mrs. Hutton.” He replied shyly.

Jim felt as though his heart could burst. Freddie usually had such a nonchalant attitude to anything, was so easily unfazed by anything, that to see him so shy and so eager to please was absolutely endearing. “Oh, darling!” She kissed his forehead and Freddie’s cheeks coloured. “It’s Lucy, please.”

He nodded shyly, breathing out a little when she moved to Jim. “How’s my favourite boy?” She asked playfully. “Don’t tell the others I said that.”

“I’m good. We’re both good.” He took Freddie’s hand and led him inside. “Come on, baby, it’s freezing out here.”

The house was absolutely awash with children, and Freddie was a little surprised when he realised he was somewhere in the middle of the age range. “So, who’s this little one? You’re a little young for a baby, darling, aren’t you?” She asked Freddie.

“This is my little boy, Theo.” He smiled, relaxing a little as he looked down at his son, now awake and looking around curiously. “I’ve got two boys, actually. My eldest is at school at the moment.”

“You must’ve started young!” She smiled. “So your other is five, is that right? How old are you?”

“Yes, Dylan is five.” He bounced Theo a little. “I’ve just turned twenty-one.”

“Sixteen.” She whistled. “I thought I was young starting at eighteen!”

“It’s our culture.” Freddie’s cheeks coloured. “My mother had me at fifteen and my sister at sixteen.”

“It’s not a criticism, darling, not at all. So long as your children are happy and healthy, who is anyone to criticise you?” She smiled and looked at Theo, who was glancing at her with a look of confusion. “He’s the sweetest little thing, isn’t he?”

“Everybody always thinks he’s adorable.” He smiled, starting to relax, and melted even more so when Jim wrapped that arm back around his waist. “I think it’s the big eyes.”

“Definitely.” She smiled. “Can I hold him? Do you mind?”

“Of course not.” He handed Theo over carefully. “Can I make a drink? I’m awfully thirsty.”

“Definitely!” She nodded. “Jim, darling, can you help him? I’m just going to go and check on the little ones.” She gave them both a bright smile and left the room for a moment.

“There’s so many kids.” Freddie smiled, listening to her voice from the next room. “Are they all hers?”

Jim flicked on the kettle and wrapped his arms around Freddie. “Definitely not.” He kissed the back of his neck. “She’s got three biologically, but she’s adopted five and fostered over forty in her time.”

“What was that like?” Freddie asked curiously. “Growing up with so many kids around? It must have been strange, having your siblings and then having all those other kids come in too.”

“Oh, no.” Jim smiled. “I was one of the adopted ones. She fostered me at the age of six.”

Freddie turned around quickly and looked up at him. “You never told me that.” He replied softly, cupping Jim’s cheek.

Jim turned and kissed the palm of his hand. “I don’t tend to talk about it.” He shrugged. “In my mind, I have two mothers. My birth mother died and my father couldn’t support me and both my brothers, so Lucy adopted all of us to keep us all together.”

Freddie leaned up and kissed him gently. “Does that bother you?” He asked gently.

“Not really. I couldn’t have gotten a better family.” Jim smiled. “That’s why I wanted Eva so badly. There’s nothing better than being brought into a family at a low point in your life and relearning what it’s like to be loved.”

Freddie wound his arms around his lover and rested his head safely against his chest. “I’m glad you feel like that.” He smiled. “Is that why you want a house full of kids?”

“Something like that.” Jim gently tucked Freddie’s hair back from his face and then pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’m just so used to it, it seems strange to not have loads of kids around.”

“Which is why you’re so unfazed by mine.” He smiled. “Thank you for telling me.”

“I wasn’t keeping it a secret, darling, I just hadn’t quite found the time to tell you.” He admitted.

“How are we doing on the tea, boys?” Lucy came back into the kitchen, still cradling Theo. “You’d think you were swapping life stories in here.”

Jim winked at Freddie and poured out the water. “Something along those lines.” He chuckled. “You go and sit down, Ma, and we’ll bring them in.”

“Whatever you say, darling!” She chuckled herself, cooing over the baby as she sat down in the lounge. 

Freddie balanced all three mugs, despite Jim’s protests, and pushed the lounge door open with his hip whilst trying not to spill them. “Freddie-” Jim laughed, following him. “Freddie, darling, I can help-”

“It’s one of my many talents.” Freddie winked and placed them all down on the table. “I’ve got to pull my weight somehow.”

Jim chuckled and sat down on the sofa opposite his mother, holding an arm out for Freddie. Freddie took his mug and settled down in his lover’s arms, immediately comforted by how willing Jim was to be affectionate with him still. “How long have you been with Jim, darling?” Lucy questioned; Freddie’s ears pricked immediately when he heard a whimper from Theo.

“Nearly four months now.” Freddie beamed up at his fiancé. “It feels like years.”

“Enjoy these months, darling, the first few months are always wonderful.” She smiled wistfully. “Then again, you’ve landed yourself with one of my favourite boys, so maybe you can keep that going for a good few years.”

“I can’t imagine it being any better, or any different.” Jim kissed the top of his head. “He’s simply delightful.”

“Shush, you.” Freddie’s cheeks pinkened. “I love you.”

Jim chuckled and squeezed him a little. “Love you too, baby.”

Freddie jumped up quickly when Theo started to cry, an instinctive reaction, and Lucy handed the baby to him. “Oh, lovie, lovie, it’s okay.” He bounced the baby a little to calm him. “Daddy’s here, sweetness.” He sat back down on the sofa, tucking his feet underneath him, and cuddled him close. 

“Is he okay?” Jim wound an arm around Freddie’s shoulders.

“He sometimes gets a bit spooked by new people.” Freddie murmured apologetically. “Because it was just me and him for so long, he’s still not used to being handled by lots of new people.”

“It’s okay!” Lucy smiled. “I’ve had an awful lot of babies in my time, I know how fussy they can be.”

Theo rested his cheek against Freddie’s chest, soothed by the sound of his heart, and his crying weakened. “That’s it, sweetheart.” He murmured, kissing his cheek. “You’re so good for me, aren’t you?”

Jim rubbed his shoulder gently and smiled when Theo stopped crying. “You’re such a good daddy.” Jim murmured. “You understand him so well.”

Freddie smiled shyly. “You’ve got to make the most of babyhood.”

“Absolutely.” Lucy agreed. “Any plans for anymore?”

“We think we’d like one or two.” Freddie nodded. “We both want a house full of kids, really.”

* * *

Eva was nursing a temperature, her stomach sore, and she wanted nothing more than to curl up with her father; her hair was greasy, and Jim knew he’d have to coax her into a bath later, but for now he was perfectly happy to lay with her and to help her sleep. In the kitchen, he could hear Freddie and Dylan chatting about his day, and he could almost picture the scene in his mind: the boys sat opposite sides of the dining table, Dylan muddling through his counting with the use of pens and crayons to count, Freddie sipping tea and his little boy juice. 

“Daddy?” Eva murmured, rubbing her eyes tiredly. 

“I’ve got you, darling.” Jim rubbed circles on her arm soothingly. “Daddy’s here.”

Eva rolled over and laid against his chest, soft breaths rolling over his skin. “I missed you.” She said quietly.

“Missed me?” Jim echoed, pulling her closer and winding his arms around her. “Why have you missed me, sweetheart?”

“You spend lots of time with Baba and Theo.” She mumbled. “You don’t spend lots of time with me anymore.”

“Oh, darling-” Jim kissed her forehead, immediately feeling guilty that he hadn’t noticed that his little girl was feeling left out. “I’m sorry.” He said after a moment.

She closed her eyes again and relaxed against his chest. “Do you love me?” She asked quietly.

“Of course I do.” Jim pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you so much. I- I’ve been very excited since I met your Baba, because I’ve never been in love like this before and he’s made me very happy. I know lots of things have changed since it was just you and me.”

Eva took one of his hands and played with his fingers. “Can we go for ice cream again?” She asked hopefully.

It had been one of their traditions since she’d started school; they’d always been on a Thursday evening and huddled up together in the corner of an ice cream parlour, eating cookie dough or bubblegum or hazelnut or tutti frutti topped with marshmallows and raspberry sauce and biscuit pieces and chocolate sprinkles and hundreds and thousands. It always put a smile on her face when she dotted Jim’s nose with the end of her spoon, or he cuddled her close when it made them both cold. 

“You and me?” Jim asked, bringing the blanket closer around her when she started to shiver. “Or all of us?”

“Daddy.” She smiled. “And then all of us next time.”

“Sounds good to me.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “We should see if we can make the best mix so we can give it to Baba and Dylan.”

She nodded excitedly. “We should give them tutti frutti with gummy bears.” She suggested.

“Or cookie dough with M&Ms.” Jim chuckled.

“Or both!” She insisted; her tummy grumbled loudly at the thought. “Daddy, I want ice cream.”

Jim stood up and smiled. “I’ll see what I can do, princess.”

He went out into the kitchen and leaned down to kiss Freddie’s cheek before grabbing his jacket. “And where do you think you’re going?” Freddie asked playfully, standing up and wrapping his arms around his lover’s neck.

“I’ve got a poorly little girl one room over who fancies ice cream.” Jim smiled and pecked his lips lightly. “And so, I could be tight and get her some from the freezer, or I could walk a few blocks to her favourite place and buy her a proper topped ice cream.”

“You’re such a good daddy.” Freddie kissed his nose.

“Can I have one, Daddy?” Dylan asked hopefully.

“Not now, sweetheart, you’ll spoil your dinner.” Freddie turned to his son. “Maybe another time.”

From behind his back, Jim just winked at the little boy.

* * *

“So I’ve got cookie dough with marshmallows and smarties, and some extra chocolate sauce-” He handed the huge pot to Eva, who seemed to light up immediately when Freddie handed her a spoon, a promise that he didn’t mind if she ate now. “I’ve got birthday cake ice cream with raspberry sauce, mini chocolate bars and more marshmallows-” He handed the pot to Dylan, who squealed with excitement when Freddie relented with a smile: his little boy looked so happy, and he couldn’t imagine saying no anymore.

“And I’ve got red velvet with vanilla sauce, M&Ms and cookie dough.” He handed a pot to Freddie and kissed his cheek.

“You didn’t have to buy me anything.” Freddie smiled bashfully.

“How can I spoil two of my kids and not my third?” He teased. “Come on, we’ll have dinner a little later. I’ve got a tiramisu ice cream calling my name.”

Freddie sat beside him on the sofa as the children dug into their ice creams together, excitedly swapping toppings: for the first time, Eva realised with excitement, she had somebody else to swap and share with. 

Theo giggled on his mat, reaching for Freddie mindlessly; Freddie picked him up and sat him on his knee. He dipped his finger in the ice cream and let his son taste it, chuckling when the baby started kicking his legs excitedly. “I think he likes it.” Freddie smiled, leaning against his fiancé and doing it again. 

“I think he loves it.” Jim chuckled, watching his daughter pick a chocolate bar from Dylan’s ice cream as he two took smarties. “She’s never had someone to share with before.”

“She’s a dream.” Freddie leaned up to kiss his cheek. “You’re a dream. This is all a dream.”

“Then don’t pinch me.” Jim cupped his cheek and kissed him, soft and slow and tasting of sweetness. “I don’t want to wake up.”


	17. Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're just so settled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally can't stop myself from writing this fic as soon as I get the inspiration for the next part like this is my favourite of all of my own fics purely because it's so relaxing and heart warming to write!

Freddie was white as a sheet, and Jim didn’t know whether to laugh or be worried; he looked as though he’d seen a ghost, or like a child having seen their first horror film. “Sweetheart-” He couldn’t keep the chuckle from his voice as he wrapped his arms around his lover from behind. “Everything okay?”

Freddie almost leapt out of his skin, but he melted into his arms when he realised it was his fiancé. “I feel like I need a whiskey.” He murmured. 

“A bold choice for someone who barely ever drinks.” Jim kissed the side of the neck. “I think I’ve got a bottle in the cupboard if you’re serious.”

“I am serious.” He finally put the phone down and back on the hook. “I mean, mix it with coke or I might die, but I need a drink.”

Jim kissed his temple and then moved into the kitchen. “What was your call about, baby?” He asked as Freddie sat up on the counter. 

“It was Mary, as it happens.” Freddie took his drink gratefully and downed most of it in a few mouthfuls. “She’s pregnant.”

“Oh?” Jim asked curiously, taking his hand gently. “She’s gotten over you pretty quickly, then.”

“Well, that’s the thing.” He muttered. “She thinks it’s mine.”

Jim’s eyes widened a little. “How?”

“She thinks she can time to it just before you and I got together. After we met but before we kissed properly for the first time.” Freddie’s cheeks coloured. “I mean, we’re still reasonable friends, but we got really drunk and it was just a one-time, stupid thing, but now she thinks the baby’s mine. I half wonder if she’s saying it because none of her other guys will take the baby off her hands.”

“And you will?” Jim asked.

“Well, that’s a decision we have to make together.” Freddie shrugged. “And it only matters if the baby is mine. But-” He bit his lip shyly. “Well, I wouldn’t mind another baby.” He murmured.

“Do you think it’s yours?” Jim questioned, trying to keep the excitement from his voice. “Or do you think she’s bluffing?”

“I mean- she could be telling the truth.” He looked down, nervous to meet Jim’s eyes. “It might be my baby. If it is, I mean, it probably isn’t, but if it is, then I’d like to keep it.”

Jim came closer and tilted his chin up, kissing him softly. “I hope it is yours.” He murmured against his lips. 

Freddie’s cheeks coloured. “You’d like another baby?” He asked quietly. 

“I’d love another baby. I- God, I can’t explain how many kids I want, darling, I want to adopt so many, and it’s just a blessing that we can have another that’s biologically yours without the hassle of adopting and connecting.” Jim admitted.

“Wouldn’t you rather adopt?” Freddie asked. “To help the kids?”

“I’ll never have biological children, darling, but I love to live vicariously through yours. I think it’s beautiful to have the treat of children that are your own, completely and truly.” Jim kissed his forehead. “Plus, we’ll have the baby from day one, so it’ll be like Theo. All he’ll ever know is you and I.”

Freddie broke out into a bright smile. “So you’re not angry that I might have gotten her pregnant again?” He checked.

“Oh, anything but!” Jim grinned. “You’ll never get me pregnant, and it’d be a shame to waste it.” He winked.

“Do you still want to adopt more?” He asked. “Babies or little kids?”

“I could never adopt babies.” Jim admitted, taking his hands gently. “Which is why I’m glad to have Theo. My mum, she-” He fell quiet for a few moments, tracing his thumbs over the back of his hands. “It’s a long story.”

“We have time.” Freddie said gently.

“It’s just- we were a household of boys. All her biological kids were boys, and then she adopted me and my brothers, so it was just like a riot of football boots and masculinity.” He chuckled a little. “And every time she fostered a little girl, she’d fall in love and she’d want to keep her forever, but they were always wary of overcrowding and the child not getting the attention she needed. Because she couldn’t get a little girl through regular adoption, she thought she’d pay to get a baby girl through open adoption.”

“How much did it cost?” Freddie asked, popping each of Jim’s buttons on his shirt slowly. 

“About ten thousand. She didn’t really have the money for it, but she was desperate. And she wasn’t born yet, so my mum got to know this woman all through her pregnancy, took her to all her hospital appointments and helped her with bill payments and all that kind of thing, and then the woman just disappeared. The last thing we heard she’d had the baby in a different hospital and was raising her in Dublin.” He sighed. “And Mum, she was so disheartened, it was almost like she’d had her own miscarriage.”

Freddie undid his last button and pulled him into a hug, resting his head against his lover’s bare chest - he found comfort in it in the same way as Theo did, the warmth and steadiness of a heartbeat against his cheek soothing him like a balm. “That’s awful.” He murmured.

“It is.” Jim wound his arms around him and started to play lightly with his hair. “I think I’d be too scared to adopt a child that wasn’t already at a children’s home.”

“What was adopting Eva like?” Freddie asked, closing his eyes sweetly for a moment. He’d been run off his feet with the children that day, and it wasn’t uncommon for him to take a few moments to relax with Jim when he got home from work, just to reset and refresh them both before the evening started; Jim loved the closeness and Freddie loved the support.

“Chaotic.” He chuckled, the laugh running through Freddie’s cheek and making him smile. “She was just about to turn two, and I was about to turn twenty-one. She didn’t really warm to me at first because she was scared of all men, but we bonded because I let her do my makeup. Lipstick and glitter were all that really made her happy at that time.”

“Like when she wanted to make me into a sunset.” Freddie smiled.

“Exactly. It’s her way of saying that she trusts you.” He let his hands fall from Freddie’s hair and squeezed him tighter. “She’s really changed since you came to live with us.”

“In a good way?” He asked, looking up at his lover.

“Such a good way. She’s less reserved now.” He smiled and leaned down to peck his forehead. “You’ve normalised being affectionate. She knows it’s okay to kiss and cuddle and to ask for more attention if she feels like she isn’t getting it. She’s the same as you, she gets sad if she doesn’t feel loved, but now she models her behaviour off of you and she knows that it’s okay for her to come and cuddle me because that’s what you do with Dylan.”

“I taught him that when he was a toddler.” Freddie chuckled. “Because I’d get home from work and he’d be grumpy and I’d just pick him up and sit with him on the sofa until he started to smile again. If you give kids long enough then they get happy again.”

“Something like this.” Jim chuckled; Freddie was still relentlessly holding onto him. “Why don’t we go and sit down in the living room for a while?”

“I need to do dinner.” Freddie groaned a little. “And Theo will want a bottle before long.”

“I’ll do it. You can run yourself a bath with a glass of wine.” Jim kissed his nose. “You work too hard.”

“Says the one who’s actually been at work all day.” Freddie chuckled. “If you do dinner, I’ll do bath and baby, and we can get them down at seven exactly. We could have a bath together.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Jim agreed, kissing the top of his head. 

* * *

Eva was still nursing a sore tummy, and they’d both decided that it was best for her to stay away from school for another day; Jim had gotten Dylan up and ready for school, taking him on his way to work, while Freddie got to laze around the flat with his daughter. They were building a fort together - the magical healing fort, they were calling it - and Freddie hoped it would help make her feel a little bit better, even if it only were mentally. She was still in her pajamas, and Freddie was wearing boxers and a sweater; Theo lay on his mat on the lounge floor in a clean sleepsuit, squealing with laughter every time Freddie picked him up and blew a raspberry on his little tummy.

The doorbell rang as he was frowning in concentration, trying to lay a blanket over the cushions to make the fort perfectly dark so that Eva could have some more rest in their little fort - she hated to sleep in anything other than complete darkness. “One second, darling!” He called out idly, pinning the blanket in place so that nothing would fall. He expected it to be Kash, or maybe his parents, or maybe even Jim’s mother on a return visit, but no one he felt uncomfortable in front of. 

He brushed off his hands, checked on the baby, and then ran out into the hallway, buzzing them quickly up to the flat. He opened the door to wait for them, idly tapping his fingers to the beat of the new Queen song that they were writing at the moment, already poised to dash back into the flat to serve tea and biscuits. 

He didn’t recognise the face.

Nor did he recognise the business suit, or the clipboard. “Hello?” He asked shyly, suddenly conscious of his appearance.

“Jim Hutton?” She asked, equally confused.

“I- no.” He bit his lip. “I’m Freddie, I’m Jim’s partner.”

“Husband?” She asked, holding out her hand for him to shake. 

“Not yet.” He took her hand, trying to be as confident as possible. 

She looked at the diamond on his finger and smiled. “Soon enough?” She chuckled. “I’m Cassie, I work for Eva’s adoption agency.”

He relaxed a little; she seemed friendly and open to their little family. “Would you like to come in?” He offered. “I’ll make some tea.”

“That would be delightful, thank you.” She closed the door behind her. “You’ve recently been added to Eva’s register, haven’t you?”

“I think so. Jim said he was going to do it.” He looked in on Theo, but he was happily batting at a rattle above his head, and so he moved into the kitchen. “That’s not a problem, is it?”

“No! No, not at all, darling.” She promised. “It’s nice that Eva has another person in her life, another parent to look up to. By the looks of it, things have changed around here quite a lot.”

“I imagine they have.” He smiled, filling the kettle and setting it on the stove. “Are you here for a welfare check?”

“A welfare check, and just to see how home life has changed for her. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?” She asked politely.

“No, go for it.” He turned to her, leaning against the kitchen side.

“Do you work?” She questioned.

“Well- not really.” He shook his head. “I’ve got two little boys, potentially a third on the way, so most of my time is caring for them and Eva. I’m a musician, though, so I make some money through that, and I occasionally teach some art classes at an evening college in Ealing.”

“So there are three children in the house at the moment?”

“Dylan, he’s five but he’s in the same year group as Eva, and my little baby Theodore.” Freddie smiled despite himself and took two mugs from the cupboard. “Dylan and Eva chose to share a room, and the baby has his own little box nursery.”

“That’s so sweet.” She chuckled. “And I must congratulate you on keeping such a nice home when you’ve got so many children to look after.”

Freddie’s cheeks pinkened. “Thank you.” He said happily, taking a bottle from the fridge and standing it on the warmer.

“What’s your general health like?” She asked. “Physical and mental?”

“I’d say I’m pretty healthy. I’m reasonably fit, I don’t eat rubbish, I’m mostly calm and balanced.” He smiled shyly. “Milk and sugar?” He offered.

“One sugar and a dash of milk, please.” She was undeniably impressed by Freddie; partners added to the register often weren’t such perfect matches to the adopted child, but she was less worried with him. “How old are you?”

“I’m twenty-one.” Freddie replied. “I started young, I know. I’ve just always loved children.”

“Oh, it’s no problem to me.” She insisted. “Twenty-one is the legal age limit, is all. But Jim is her primary parent, so it shouldn’t matter if you were younger anyway.”

“Darling?” He heard Jim call as he walked through the door; Freddie sent a quick glance at the clock and saw it was only twelve, and was immediately confused as to why Jim was home.

“Daddy!” Eva called, immediately running for her father; he swept her up and kissed her forehead.

“Where’s your Baba, princess?” He asked.

“He’s in the kitchen with a lady.” She told him, sitting comfortably on his hip. 

“Is he now?” Jim asked, walking into the kitchen; he scanned the sight of his lover in his boxers, his heart swelling with love, and then recognised the woman sat at their dining table. “Oh, Cassie, hello!”

“Hello, darling.” She chuckled.

“Why are you home?” Freddie asked, dropping a quick kiss on his cheek regardless. 

“Forgot my sandwiches.” He smiled and kissed his lips. “Buying lunch in Knightsbridge is expensive.”

“So you thought you’d pay four forty to come here and back instead?” Freddie arched a playful eyebrow. 

“I’ll get capped, won’t I?” He stuck his tongue out playfully. “And I wanted to know how my little princess is doing. How’s the fever?”

“It’s come down some.” Freddie rested the back of his hand against her head. “Still feels a bit high, though. I think we agreed on a big drink with lunch so that she doesn’t get too dehydrated.”

“Sounds perfect.” He took his sandwiches from the fridge and sat down at the other side of the table, Eva in his lap. “Is this a welfare check?” He asked Cassie.

“As much of one as I ever have to do for you and your wonderfully well-behaved daughter.” She smiled. “I wanted to come along and meet Freddie now that he’s on the register. I just wanted to check that everything was all good.”

Freddie left the room momentarily to retrieve the baby after setting their mugs down; he sat in the armchair to the side of the table with the baby and the bottle and smiled at them both. “Don’t mind me.” He chuckled.

“Is it all good?” Jim asked, no element of worry in his voice; he trusted endlessly in Freddie’s ability to charm. 

“Of course it is, darling.” She rolled her eyes playfully. “Of course it is.”


	18. Sparkles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A misunderstanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I just LOVE little kids

Freddie curled one hand around his mug, sipping his coffee and simultaneously patting Theo on the back with his spare hand. He was getting good, now, dexterous at handling a baby alongside every other part of his life, holding Theo over one shoulder while he cooked and cleaned or sang and spoke; it made his heart warm when he caught glimpses of himself in the mirror, cheeks rosy with the rude health of youth - he was so young, after all, and he felt so damn pretty - and so good with his children, with his baby, so excited for his family to grow. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, for the fourth time in their conversation. “If you were to put, like, a percentage on it?”

“Freddie!” Mary laughed. “I’m like- ninety percent sure. It just- she feels like she’s yours, I’m sure.”

Freddie softened, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “She?” He repeated.

“I mean- I don’t know.” She said quickly. “It’s just a hunch. I- I think we’ve got a daughter.”

“Fucking hell.” Freddie ducked his head down and laughed, his cheeks going pink. “We’re having a baby girl?”

“I don’t know. I think so.” She smiled. 

“And you’re sure you’re happy for me to have her?” He checked. 

She paused nervously. “I mean- I’d like to come and see them more.” She admitted. “I feel like I’ve not seen much of Theo. But you’re more stable, you’re better with them, and you and Jim- you’re good for the children. You’ve gotten Dylan into school and you’re all settled down with them, I wouldn’t want to interrupt that.”

Freddie couldn’t stop looking at her stomach, at the slight curve that he knew far too well by now. “Jim’s getting really excited.” He said with a shy smile. “He won’t have biological kids of his own, and he doesn’t want to adopt babies, so this is our chance to have a baby together.”

“I mean, he could have biological kids.” Mary arched an eyebrow. “Couldn’t he?”

“We don’t have anything like the money for a surrogate, darling.” Freddie chuckled.

“I imagine some women wouldn’t charge.” She sipped her tea. “He’s attractive, after all.”

“Are you offering to sleep with my husband?” Freddie laughed, a little shocked. 

“Christ, Freddie, I’ve had three kids with you and I’m twenty. Besides, it’d be weird for all of your kids to be related through the blood of some random woman.” She chuckled.

“You’re not a random woman, darling.” He leaned over and squeezed her hand. “You’re still my first wife, even if we are divorced.”

She smiled warmly at him. “Listen, I- I’m really sorry about what happened before. When I just kind of left you with the kids, I was terrified that I’d do something wrong and I’d heard all these horror stories and I figured if I left you to it then you’d keep them safe. But I- I realised that it really wasn’t fair on you, you didn’t really know anything more than I did but you just got on with it.” She paused and leaned over to squeeze his hand. “Thank you.”

Freddie smiled and wrinkled his nose playfully when Theo wriggled and reached up to grab it. “Wriggler.” He kissed the top of his head. “It’s been just fine, darling, don’t you worry. If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met Jim, and then where would I be?”

“Maybe you wouldn’t be getting married after knowing someone three weeks.” She nudged his thigh with her toes and laughed.

“It’s four months!” Freddie pouted. “I’m happy, sue me. Where’s the harm in that?”

“No harm.” She held her hands up. “No harm at all. I’m not one to judge.”

* * *

He’d been very careful; he’d counted the whole way to twenty after his Baba had closed the bedroom door, waiting forever. He pulled back the covers and poked his head up, looking around the room and squinting in the darkness until he saw Eva’s bright eyes looking back at him. He tried as quietly as he could to sneak out of his bed, his toes landing in the fluffy rug next to his bed that Freddie liked to kneel on when he sang him to sleep; he crept through the rug, his heart beating fast with the adrenaline of maybe getting caught-

_ “Malus?”  _ Freddie opened the door when he heard movement from inside; he tended to falter outside the door for a few moments just to check that they were both going to sleep. “What are you doing?”

Dylan’s cheeks flushed, half with embarrassment and half with delight - his Baba hadn’t called him that name for so long. “Nothing.” He murmured shyly. 

Freddie picked him up and kissed his forehead. “It’s time to go to sleep now, baby.” He said gently. “You need to get all snuggled up.”

Dylan cuddled close into his chest, not wanting to let go of his father; the beat of his heart against his cheek made him feel warm, safe and steady. “Okay.” He murmured. “M’sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry, baby, it’s okay.” He kissed his temple and rocked him slowly, watching his eyes grow heavy. He hummed lowly, bouncing him just lightly as he walked around the room, trying not to disturb Eva at the same time. “It’s time for bed now.”

Dylan nodded and let himself be laid back down in his bed, tucked up warm and comfortable in his bed. He waited again - he counted to twenty one, twice, thrice, and then he tried again.

This time, he ran across the room and hurled himself into Eva’s bed, burying them both under the blanket. “I have a secret.” He whispered.

Eva’s eyes were bright with excitement. “A secret?” She echoed. “Tell me!”

“Shush!” He put a finger over his lips, mimicking his father. “Mummy says that Baba’s having a baby.”

She started to giggle. “Baba’s having a baby?”

He nodded excitedly. “That’s what Mummy says.”

“Like-” She frowned, thinking hard. “Like in his tummy? Like Teddy?”

“Smaller.” He whispered. “Tiny.”

“Wow.” She smiled. “Can I hear it?”

He paused nervously. “It’s a secret.” He reminded her. “Mummy said we can’t ask Baba yet.”

* * *

Eva lay smushed between her two fathers, kicking her feet idly as she watched cartoons; Dylan lay asleep on Jim’s chest, and Theo’s cheek was pressed against Freddie’s collarbone as he tickled his tummy. She yawned, pretended to stretch out and wriggled down further between them, pressing her ear to Freddie’s stomach. His stomach rumbled and she squealed with excitement, waking her brother. 

Freddie almost jumped out of his skin. “What is it, darling?” He asked.

“Baby!” She said loudly. “It’s a baby!”

Freddie met Jim’s eyes, half concerned and half delighted, and then chuckled. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve got a baby.” She poked his stomach gently. 

His cheeks coloured as Jim burst out laughing. “It’s not quite like that, darling.” Jim said gently. 

She frowned. “Babies grow in tummies.” She said confidently.

“Not everybody’s tummies.” Jim kissed her forehead. “It’s a special power that girls have.”

Her excitement seemed to die down. “So there’s no baby?” She asked sadly. 

“It’s Dylan’s mummy.” Freddie said gently. “Me and Dylan’s mummy, we’re having a baby. Then it’ll come to live with us.”

Eva thought for a few moments. “So Daddy won’t be Baby’s daddy?” She asked, still sounding a little disappointed.

“Babies can have lots of mummies and daddies.” Freddie kissed the top of her head. “Dylan has a mummy and two daddies. You’ve got a mummy and three daddies.”

“When I was a little boy, I had one mummy and that was all. But I had five brothers and then I had lots of other little boys and girls come to live with us. Families can be very different, darling, but all that matters is that everybody is happy.” Jim explained.

Freddie snuggled closer to his lover’s side. “What’s your favourite colour, Eva?” He asked curiously. 

“I like orange.” She said immediately.

“Orange.” Freddie mused. “Bright orange or peachy orange?”

“Peach.” She nodded. “Why?”

“I’m going to buy you a very pretty peach dress.” He told her. “And some pretty peach flowers, and some special little bits of paper with lots of sparkles and bits of glitter.”

She gasped excitedly. “I like sparkles!”

“I know you do, darling.” He chuckled. “And you’ll get to throw those sparkles all over me and your Daddy.”

It was like magic to her, lighting her up. “Why?”

“We’re getting married.” Freddie smiled. “Which means that we all get to have a big party and we get to wear nice clothes and your Daddy and I are going to give each other some lovely rings.”

“Like my birthday?” She asked, making Freddie chuckle. 

“Even bigger than a birthday.” He told her. “It’s going to be very special.”

“What do I get to wear, Baba?” Dylan asked sleepily, but his eyes were bright.

“You’re going to have a special suit like the ones that Daddy and I are going to wear.” Freddie explained. “And I’m going to get one of Eva’s flowers and I’m going to tuck it right here.” He gently tapped his chest where his boutonniere would be. 

Dylan looked horrified. “Won’t that hurt?” He asked shyly.

“Oh, baby!” Freddie couldn’t hold back his laugh. “There’s a special hole in your jacket for it. It doesn’t go through your skin, baby, don’t worry.”

He giggled when Freddie’s fingers gently tickled his stomach. “Can I have sparkles?”

Jim squeezed the little boy tighter and dropped a kiss on the top of his head, chuckling to himself. “Anything you want, sweetheart.” He promised. “Anything you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Malus' is a Persian nickname for children that means loveable and I think it's so fucking cute I could scream


	19. Bottles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's just a little unsure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've injured my achilles which means I literally can't walk which means a lot more updates for you guys because I'm bored!

It wasn’t often that Freddie was so loud that he woke not just one child, but all three - he’d rolled out of Jim’s arms when the phone had gone late, laughing when he’d whined tiredly and grabbed onto the hem of his shirt, and the next thing he’d known Freddie had been screaming from the hallway.

Jim bolted down the stairs, only in his boxers, and Freddie threw himself at him; his arms wound around Jim’s neck and he squeezed him so tightly. “They want me!” He squealed, his face alive and bright with excitement.

“Who, baby?” Jim asked, winding his arms around his waist and pulling him close. “Who wants you?”

“Top of the Pops!” He laughed. “They want Killer Queen.”

“Shit!” Jim spun him around and kissed him, his heart overwhelmed with pride. “That’s incredible!”

“They want us in on Saturday.” He kissed him again. “Four thousand pounds between us.”

“Fucking hell.” Jim chuckled. “Look at you go. That’s your song, too.”

He was almost jittering with excitement. “I can’t believe I get to play for them.” He smiled. “People are- they’re going to know me!”

“Everyone should know you.” He pressed another kiss to Freddie’s cheek. “I’ll give the kids to my mum. I want to come with you.”

“I want you to see me.” He murmured. “You can give my boys to Mary, if you want to. Eva can go too, but only if you’re okay with that.”

* * *

Jim had never seen his lover look so wonderful before; he was dressed in skin tight jeans and a fur coat, every curve and contour of his body for the world to see. He’d never seen him so willing to be seen, so flamboyant and confident and downright gorgeous-

“He’s all kinds of lovely, isn’t he?” A voice murmured from behind him, and he turned around quickly.

“Excuse me?” He spluttered. “Who?”

“Freddie.” He crossed his arms, watching the swing of his hips as he sang. “You reckon he’s a fag? You reckon I’ve got a chance?”

Jim’s eyes widened. “I happen to know he’s engaged.” He commented. “Who are you?”

“Damn. Paul.” He held out a hand. “Paul Prenter. I work at Sarm in Notting Hill, they recorded this track over there. I’ve seen him around a little bit. What about you? Groupie?”

Jim laughed and shook his hand. “I guess. I’m Freddie’s fiancé and the father of his children.”

“Lucky man.” He smacked his back playfully. “They’ll be an awful lot of men going to bed feeling different tonight.”

Jim grinned. “He is something special.” He agreed.

“How did you meet?” He asked. “I could do with some tips to get someone like him.”

“I met him in a children’s playground. My little girl spotted him.” He chuckled.

“Not conventional. Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong.” He watched the sway of his hips and licked his lips a little. “Give me a bell if you split up. I’ve got to get a taste of that some time.” He winked. “Is he vocal?”

“You can’t ask shit like that!” Jim laughed and smacked him on the arm. “That’s for me to know and you to not.”

“It was worth a try.” He squeezed Jim’s arm. “You know, you aren’t half bad either, darling.”

“Shame I’m also engaged.” He commented idly, making them both laugh.

“Listen, do you- do you want to get a coffee some time? I know you’re engaged, I don’t mean it like that, I just wondered if you’d like to get a drink.” He shrugged. “I can do cocktails if you’d prefer.”

Jim took the pen from his fingers and wrote their number on the back of his hand. “Sure.” He agreed. “I’ll bring Freddie, if you want.”

“That’d be great.” He agreed. 

Freddie bounded off stage and came straight into his lover’s arms. “You weren’t even watching me!” He pouted. “I was performing for you, darling.”

“Of course I was watching you.” Jim cupped his cheek and kissed him softly. “I was talking about you. Have you met Paul before?”

Freddie glanced over at the other man and smiled. “You helped me out with the recording of this track!” He wrapped his arms around Paul’s neck and kissed his cheek. “You sided with me when they were trying to cut the last refrain.”

“I did.” He kissed his temple. “It sounds wonderful, darling. I couldn’t stop watching you.”

Freddie puffed up with pride and smiled over at Jim. “See! Lucky for you, we’re doing a second take. Roger fucked up.”

Jim wound an arm around his waist and chuckled. “I’ll be staring at you, darling. You won’t be able to move for my eyes.”

“That’s how I like it!” Freddie stood on his toes and kissed him sweetly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He murmured, squeezing his waist playfully. “Go and smash it, darling. Impress me.”

* * *

“Mummy?” Dylan tugged on Mary’s dress as she sat feeding Theo. “Pop said we could watch the music show today.”

“Of course!” She agreed, leaning over to turn on the television. “You might get to see your Baba.”

Dylan ran over to the television and sat straight in front of it. When he saw Freddie, he gasped and squealed, touching his little fingers to the picture on the screen in awe. “What is he doing, Mummy?”

“He’s singing.” She sat down beside him and smiled. “Do you remember when he used to sing you to sleep?”

He smiled and rested his head against her arm. “Daddy and Baba like to play piano.” He told her. “Baba doesn’t sing.”

She laughed when the camera focused in on Freddie’s hips and covered her son’s eyes with the palm of her hand. “They’re being naughty.” She chuckled. 

Eva faltered by the door, not sure of whether or not she was welcome in the lounge; Mary was new in her life, and she was Dylan’s mummy, she didn’t have to like her like Freddie did-

“Do you want to come and watch, sweetheart?” Mary held out a hand for her. “Baba’s on the tv.”

She came forward shyly and broke into a smile when she saw Freddie, giggling when he winked at the camera. “He looks funny.” She murmured.

“I think it’s his silly jacket.” She chuckled, her heart warming when the little girl sat down next to her. “I know I’m not your mummy, darling, but if you ever want to talk to me, darling, then you can. There are some things that boys just don’t understand.”

She glanced up at her and smiled shyly. “Like what?” She asked.

“All sorts of things. Sometimes they just don’t understand what it’s like to be a girl.” She shrugged.

Eva nodded and smiled. “What do I call you?”

“Anything you’d like.” Mary promised. “You can just call me Mary, if you’d like. Dylan calls me mummy, but you don’t have to.”

She thought for a few seconds, thinking about the things that Freddie sometimes called his mother; she liked the playful nicknames he’d come up with. “Mai.” She murmured.

“I like that one.” She pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. “That’s what your Baba calls his mummy.”

She nodded and smiled. “I had a mummy and a papa.” She told Mary; she found it easier to talk to her than anyone else. “But they were mean. I like Daddy more.”

“That’s why you’ve got your Daddy, darling, so he can keep you safe.” She promised. “We’re all keeping you safe.”

* * *

Jim loved it when Freddie was like this, sleepy and silly and sweet; he was practically asleep in his lap, curled up with his cheek against his collarbone. Jim’s hand skimmed his side, tracing gentle patterns with his fingers, toying over whether now was the right time to ask the question-

“Can I come to the scan on Wednesday?” He asked shyly.

Freddie yawned and looked up, rubbing his eyes. “What?” He asked sleepily.

“Baby’s scan on Wednesday. Can I come?” He repeated.

Freddie smiled up at him. “Of course you can.” He murmured. “I’m going to tell you something, you have to not get too excited because it might be wrong.” He said quickly. 

“What?” He asked hopefully. 

“Mary thinks we’re having a little girl.” He murmured. 

Jim gasped. “A daughter?” He asked hopefully.

“A daughter.” He echoed. 

“A little girl.” He murmured, almost dreamlike. “What are you going to call her?”

“That’s for us all to decide.” Freddie shrugged. “All three of us. You can help us choose.”

“She’s not really my daughter.” He murmured shyly.

“Oh, shush!” Freddie leaned up and pecked his lips. “She’s as much your daughter as she is mine. Speaking of that-” He sat up straighter. “Can you take paternity leave?”

“I don’t know.” He murmured, a little bashful. “They might not let me because it’s your baby.”

Freddie scoffed. “As far as anyone else is concerned, she’s acting as a surrogate for us. It’s our baby, we’re her full time carers.”

Jim smiled reluctantly. “I think I can take thirty-seven weeks paid. After that I’d be going unpaid.” He murmured. “Usually we’d have to share the leave, but I imagine that the boys won’t expect you to be recording much when we’ve had the baby.”

“I’m not technically employed, so I can do what I want.” Freddie shrugged. “I just want to know that you’ll be around at first, because the kids are going to be too much of a handful for me all at once. Balancing a five year old, a four year old, an eleven-month old and a newborn is too much for one man. I can’t bottle feed two babies at once.”

“Let’s hope we haven’t got twins.” Jim chuckled. 

“Fucking hell.” Freddie laughed. “I think that would taste my patience more than anything else.”

“I’ll definitely take as much as time off as I can.” Jim promised.

“It’ll be such a good time for you to take off. You can help me get Theo onto proper food, and you might get to see his first steps, and you can be at home when the kids need help with their homework and things like that.” He giggled. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither.” Jim kissed his cheek. “Thank you for being so lovely and letting me be involved, darling.”

“As though I wouldn’t involve you.” Freddie chastised him playfully. “You’re my husband-to-be.”

Jim chuckled. “Are we getting married before or after the baby?” He asked.

Freddie faltered as he thought. “I wanted a summer wedding.” He admitted. “But the baby is due in May, and I was thinking July or August.”

“Mary could always look after them.” Jim suggested.

“One woman and four kids is a lot to ask.” Freddie looked a little worried. 

“What about if your mother stayed with her? I’m sure they know each other well enough that it wouldn’t be awkward.” He offered.

Freddie’s face lit up. “You’re a genius!” He hugged him tightly.

“So I’ve got a baby due in May and a wedding in August? I’m a lucky man.” Jim kissed him softly. “A very lucky man indeed.”


	20. Drop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He experiences a new side to Freddie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sponsored by last night's hard sub drop - there isn't much written on this topic in this fandom so I wanted to add this in there. First part is set after a particularly intense BDSM scene (imagine what you will!)

He lay alone in the bed, bare amongst the silk sheets, wrists and ankles bruised and burned by rope. His eyes fluttered close, then open again, restlessly exhausted; he couldn’t help if a few frustrated tears leaked out over his pillow. It had been a long time since he’d done anything like that in bed, and an even longer time since he’d allowed himself to be so raw, so vulnerable, so submissive, to get into the headspace where he trusted his fiancé to look after him. He was frightened to come back down into the real world - it had felt so incredible to be looked after like that, to forget everything, to forget the children and his responsibilities with them. He wasn’t ready to come down. 

He momentarily found that he hated Theo for tearing Jim away when he needed him most, but he told himself off for being ridiculous. 

“Baby?” Jim asked as he shut the bedroom door, locking it behind him. When he saw tears, his heart ached immediately, and he crouched beside the bed to be closer to him. “Oh, sweetheart, did I hurt you?” He whispered, wiping his eyes.

Freddie shook his head and wrapped his arms around Jim’s neck, tucking himself away against him. He closed his eyes as Jim cradled him, calming slowly; he straddled Jim’s lap, melting into the hands on his body, one around his waist and the other on the back of his head. “Just a bit of a drop, sweetheart?” He asked gently.

He nodded, fingers tight in his t-shirt, never wanting to let go again. “Let’s get you up on the bed, darling, you’re shivering.” Jim whispered, carefully picking him up and getting him back amongst the sheets to help him warm up. Freddie whimpered, frightened he was going to leave again, and Jim kissed the top of his head soothingly. “I’ve got you, darling, I’ve got you.”

Jim lay with him until he was sure that he was feeling a little better, until his breaths turned a little more steady and his grip became a little less desperate. “Are you with me?” He asked softly, running his knuckles gently over Freddie’s skin. 

“Yes.” Freddie murmured, heavy eyelids inching closed again. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, baby.” Jim whispered, peppering kisses on his cheeks until he smiled. “I’m sorry I had to leave you.”

He yawned, feeling the dread and the fear start to melt away. “It’s okay.” He whispered.

“I’m going to put a bit of calamine on your wrists and ankles.” He sat up and rustled for the lotion in his bedside drawers. “It’ll just help it not be so sore. I didn’t realise I’d burned the skin.”

Freddie watched him curiously. “I like it.” He murmured, blushing a little. “I like it when they’re sore.”

Jim arched an eyebrow playfully and took one of his hands, carefully massaging the lotion into the delicate bones of his wrists. “Well, this will make it heal quicker so we can do it again.” He chuckled.

“Thank you.” He murmured. “For looking after me.”

“I love looking after you. I didn’t realise that you were dropping, darling, I thought you were just going to fall asleep.” He kissed the top of his head and moved onto the other wrist. “It’s all a bit overwhelming, hey?”

“It was just so nice to feel so free.” He whispered. “So- so young.”

“I understand that, sweetness.” He agreed. “I love to look after you. If you ever need time out, time to be looked after, then you can rely on me.” He promised.

Freddie smiled sleepily and leaned up to press a shy kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Thank you.” He murmured. “I- I just need to let go sometimes.”

“We all need aftercare, sweetheart.” Jim stroked his hair lightly. “I’m just the same. When I come down, I always feel like I need to care for someone. I get so into the headspace that I’ll do whatever feels right, but then I feel awfully guilty when I drop out of that mindset.”

“Guilty?” Freddie asked, rubbing his eye tiredly. “Why guilty?”

“I’ve hurt you.” He lightly touched one of his wrists. “I’ve broken your skin.”

“Do you still feel like that even if I like it?” He asked.

“It’s weird, I know.” He shook his head.

“How do you make yourself feel better, then?” He questioned.

“My favourite thing is to take a bath with whoever I’ve slept with.” He ran his fingers over Freddie’s side. “The classic, you know, carbs and cuddles. I like to eat sweets in a nice warm bath and spend my time washing someone’s hair for them.”

“I can think of worse ways to spend an evening.” Freddie smiled.

“Shall I run a bath?” He asked.

“I’d love that.” He said softly. “Maybe we should’ve talked about this before.”

“Maybe.” He chuckled, grabbing a sweater and a pair of boxers and wrapping Freddie up warm before carrying him into the bathroom and sitting him next to the bath. “I’m going to grab some drinks and some sweets, darling, I’ll be back.”

He was floating between headspaces, and he was back into the almost childlike, calm space; he tucked his knees up to his chest and rested his cheek on them sleepily, happy to stay where he was told. Jim brought a glass of water and a bag of sweets into the bathroom and tested the temperature with his finger, before he sat beside his lover. Freddie sent him a giddy smile and Jim laughed, kissing his temple and winding an arm back around him. “You’re slipping again, aren’t you?” He asked softly.

Freddie nodded and curled into his side, feeling heavy and sleepy and calm. Jim loved the feeling of him like this, the feeling of his lover so willing to let go, and knowing that he was happy to be looked after by him - he loved men that didn’t snap out of their mindsets immediately, that could continue beyond just playing. He checked the water temperature and smiled. “Arms up, sweetheart, you can’t get in the bath with a sweater on.”

He wrapped his arms around himself and giggled, deliberately misbehaving. “You put it on me.”

“Are you talking back?” He arched an eyebrow playfully. “Arms up, darling.”

Freddie grinned and held his arms up obediently, letting Jim pull off his sweater. “It’s cold.” He pouted petulantly.

“I know.” He chuckled, stripping off his own boxers and then helping Freddie with his. He lay back in the water and held out his arms, closing his eyes contentedly as Freddie settled against his chest. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“Love you too.” Freddie murmured, closing his eyes and feeling much calmer than he had before. Jim stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head, before reaching over the side of the bath to open their bag of sweets. “Choose a flavour, baby doll.”

“Green.” He whispered.

“Green isn’t a flavour.” Jim said playfully.

“Lime, then!” Freddie splashed him and giggled.

“Now ask me nicely.” Jim said, a little more firm.

Freddie’s cheeks coloured. “Lime, please.” He said sweetly.

Jim looked for a lime sweet and then popped it in Freddie’s mouth with a smile. “Eat it slowly. You don’t want to choke.”

Freddie did as he was told, closing his eyes and chewing slowly. “These are nice.” He murmured.

“They’re my favourites. Nice and sour.” Jim rubbed his back slowly. “Want another?”

Freddie nodded, sleepy and satisfied. “‘Nother lime.” He said quietly, sounding like one of the children himself.

Jim found another lime one and gave it to him with a smile. “Want a little water?” He offered.

He nodded and sipped from the glass when Jim held it to his lips, letting himself be looked after; it felt so good to let go, and it felt even better when he knew it helped Jim too.

* * *

“That looks incredible on you.” Brian whistled as he looked Freddie up and down. “All in?”

“Absolutely.” Freddie was a little drunk as they tottered around in the studio; he was wearing a leather catsuit and platforms, his hair tossed back haphazardly from his face. They were doing a costume fitting, but they were doing shots as they did so, and the liquor burned the back of his throat. He wasn’t used to drinking at all, and especially not drinking spirits straight, but he was determined that he could keep up with the best of them. He threw back another shot - it wasn’t vodka anymore, he’d stopped paying attention when the boys had kept refilling his glass. “I want to look fucking- fabulous!” He threw his arms in the air and smiled.

“You know you look fabulous, darling.” Paul said from his armchair across the room. “You should unzip it a little further.”

Freddie instinctively did as he was told, unzipping it until his chest and his nipples were exposed - he was a vision of darkness, the black heavy against his skin and his hair shadowing his face. “What do you think, my dear?” He asked with a grin.

“You look wonderful.” John cut in, looking over at Paul warily. “What else have you got?”

Freddie ran back behind the screen and changed into a tiny pair of popcorn shorts and an ermine, regal gown. He came out and held his arms out, showing off how wonderfully the cape fell around his lithe figure. “This is my favourite.”

“Edible, darling.” Paul announced. “I could eat you alive.”

Freddie’s eyelashes fluttered a little and he giggled. “Boys?”

“It’s outrageous, for sure.” Roger did another shot. “He’s right. You look fucking hot.”

* * *

Freddie leaned down and packed up his bag, rubbing his hands together excitedly; he couldn’t wait to surprise Jim with some of these outfits. He trailed his fingers over his wrists and grinned, wondering if it would elicit the same response, if he could be bratty enough to get another spanking across the backs of his thighs and his ass-

He stood up, and there was suddenly an arm around his waist; his cheeks flamed red. “Hello, darling.” He said shyly, looking at Paul.

“Shame you’ve had to get changed. I liked those little shorts on you.” He said sweetly. “They make your ass look incredible.”

He giggled coyly and ducked away to grab his bag. “Thank you.” He smiled. “I’ll be sure to come to you first when I’ve got new ideas.”

He took a few steps away from him but stumbled, a little too drunk, and the arms were quickly back around him. “Come here, baby, I’ll look after you.” He said, voice low. “Why don’t I help you home?”

Freddie rested against his side, smiling when he picked up his bag for him. “Thank you.” He said again, words slurring. 

He took him out to the car and put his bag in the back. Freddie leaned against the door, rubbing his arm in the cold night; he looked down at his feet, and then up again when there was another gentle touch to his waist. 

Suddenly, there were lips against his, and he gave the biggest shove he could manage when one of his wrists was pinned to the side of the car. “What the hell?” He asked, wiping his mouth angrily. 

“Sorry, sorry- I-” Paul’s cheeks were flushed. “I think I misread the signs.”

“You did.” Freddie moved a relative distance from him. “I’m engaged.”

“I- I know.” He replied. “To Jim. I just- I thought you were flirting with me. I thought you were maybe a bit bored.”

“No!” Freddie wrapped his arms around himself. He hated the idea of ever being bored of his lover. “I love him!”

“Alright, alright-” He said quickly. “Freddie, you’re drunk, please don’t make a scene. Listen, I’ll take you home, just forget it ever happened.”

* * *

Freddie stumbled through the front door, Paul close behind him. “Jim!” He shouted.

“Freddie!” Paul whispered. “He’s asleep, don’t-”

“Jim!” He shouted regardlessly. “Jim!”

Jim came down the stairs a few minutes later, tired and frowning. “What the hell is going on?”

Freddie went over to him, tucking up against his lover. “He kissed me.” He muttered disgustedly.

Jim arched an eyebrow and looked Paul up and down. “You kissed my fiancé?”

“Listen, I think there’s been a misunderstanding-” He said quickly. “Freddie was prancing around in all these costumes and calling me different nicknames, I thought he was flirting, I was clearly wrong. I’ve apologised.”

“You knew he was engaged.” Freddie stumbled a little against him. “Engaged and drunk. What part of that equals consent?”

“I didn’t force myself on him!” He insisted. “He pushed me off and I got the message. I didn’t fucking assault him.”

“You still knew he was engaged.” Jim crossed his arms. 

“I just thought he might be bored.” He muttered. “Might be tired of you or whatever.”

Freddie only realised what was happening when Jim’s fist collided with his face. “Jim!” He squeaked, grabbing his arm. “Don’t, don’t, come on!”

“You bastard.” Jim muttered, letting Freddie pull him away. “Get out of my fucking house.”

Paul retreated, leaving a trail of blood from his nose on their carpet. Freddie immediately turned to his lover’s hand, looking over his knuckles and whimpering when he saw they were split. “Baby, you’re hurt.” He whispered.

Jim tilted his chin up, struck by the smell of alcohol left on him; for a man who rarely drank, he’d gone a little harder than he probably should’ve. “Are you okay?” He asked seriously. “He didn’t hurt you?”

Freddie shook his head and melted into the hug when Jim enveloped him. “Just the kiss.” He murmured. “He was disgusting.”

“I’ve got you.” Jim kissed the top of his head. “Let’s go upstairs.”

* * *

Freddie groaned when Jim kissed both his cheeks to wake him up, pulling his pillow over his head. Jim laughed and lay beside him, stroking his waist rhythmically as Freddie’s eyes grew heavy again, his breath evening out as he dozed back off again; he enjoyed watching his lover sleeping, the softness of his face.

Then he pulled up Freddie’s shirt and pressed his freezing cold fingertips against one of his nipples.

Freddie shrieked, nearly falling out of bed. “You bitch!” He shouted, his head pounding from his hangover.

Jim burst out laughing and wrapped his arms around his lover. “It’s not my fault you got heinously drunk the night before our daughter’s scan.” He pressed a kiss to the back of Freddie’s neck when he refused to turn around in his arms. 

He groaned and rested his head back on the pillow. “Why did I get so drunk?” He muttered.

“I don’t know.” Jim linked his fingers with Freddie’s and threw a leg over his, pinning him down to the bed playfully. “Do you remember what happened?”

Freddie shivered and pressed back against him. “What specifically?” He asked tiredly.

“Paul.” He murmured.

“When he kissed me?” He wrinkled his nose. “Yes, I remember.”

“Good.” He whispered. “Did you want to?”

Freddie turned over then to look at his fiancé. “What?”

“Did you want to kiss him?” He asked again.

“Why would I want to kiss him?” He asked, a little defensive. “I’ve got you.”

“I just wanted to know if you did.” Jim cupped his cheek gently. “If you didn’t, that’s okay.”

“I didn’t.” Freddie whispered. “Not at all, Jim, I didn’t want to, I’m yours, I’m not his-”

“Hey, hey-” Jim kissed him softly. “It’s okay, baby, I believe you.”

Freddie calmed slowly and rested his head on Jim’s shoulder. “I really love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too, sweetheart.” Jim kissed his head.

* * *

“I’m afraid it’s biological family only.” The nurse caught Jim’s shoulder as he went to follow Freddie and Mary into the scan room. “They’ll be able to bring out a photo for you.”

“Oh.” He murmured, sounding nothing short of incredibly disappointed. “But- I-”

“I’m sorry, sir.” She shook her head.

“He might be biological family.” Freddie came back and took his hand gently. “I’m afraid- I’m afraid that we were both sleeping with her, miss, and we don’t quite know who the father is yet.” He lied smoothly. “But we met each other through her, and- well, all three of us want to be in the baby’s life now.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” She said quickly. “I didn’t realise that it was a complex situation. I just thought he was here for moral support.”

“It’s okay.” He smiled and took Jim’s hand, pulling him into the little room where Mary was already laying down. Jim squeezed his hand nervously and watched as the nurse quickly prepared her stomach, before a grainy little picture came up on the screen. 

“There she is.” Mary smiled over at Freddie, and Freddie squeezed Jim’s hand even tighter. “There’s our third.”

“You’re a machine.” Freddie laughed, looking up at his lover. “What are you thinking, darling?”

“I can’t believe this is real.” He whispered. 

“Were you wanting to find out the sex today?” The nurse asked curiously. “Or are you keeping it a surprise?”

“We want to know.” Mary said immediately. 

“Well-” She looked carefully at the little scan picture, and Freddie squinted to see if he could see it too. “Congratulations, you’re having a little girl.”

“Yes!” Freddie screeched, throwing his arms around Jim and hugging him as tightly as he could. “We’ve got a daughter!”

“A little girl.” Jim said, almost in disbelief; in that moment, he relived every incredible memory he’d ever had of his daughter as a toddler, every moment they’d spent together. His heart was filled with such overwhelming love, such insatiable joy, and he broke every pretence of their story when he cupped Freddie’s cheek and kissed him. 

He felt as though he was spinning in ecstasy, high above the clouds, and yet grounded right here, right now, husband-to-be and daughter-to-be so close.


	21. Monotone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's his worst nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is slight angst but only like- slight, I promise.

Freddie stood on his toes, straining his body to reach for his spare tub of baby formula at the back of the cupboard; his fingers reached eagerly, though they couldn’t quite reach it. Jim stood in the doorway to the kitchen, loosening off the collar of his shirt, taking a moment to admire his figure, his gorgeous lover; he admired the slight curve of his waist, the muscles in his arms as he extended them as far above his head as he could, and he almost laughed at the little frustrated huff he left out.

“You could help me out, you know?” He whined, turning around and crossing his arms; Jim’s cheeks flushed a little when he realised he’d been caught staring. “You’re much taller than me.”

“I was just admiring you, baby.” He replied smoothly, wrapping his arms around his waist and propping his chin on top of Freddie’s head.

“You’re just showing off now.” He murmured petulantly, but he melted into the embrace all the same. 

“You like it.” He kissed the top of his head. 

Freddie broke into a reluctant smile and rested his cheek against Jim’s chest. “I do.” He admitted, voice soft, and his eyes closed contentedly. “Can you reach it down for me, please? Otherwise I’m going to have to climb on the counter.”

“Last time you did that you nearly broke your ankle.” Jim chuckled, easily reaching the tub and setting it down on the counter. “I didn’t realise we needed formula, or I would’ve bought it on the way home.”

“It’s alright, I forgot to tell you.” Freddie smiled sweetly, breaking away from him to fill the kettle for bottles. “Do you want a tea?”

“I’d love that.” He grabbed two mugs and set them down on the counter, automatically assuming that Freddie would want one himself. “How’s your day been, baby?”

“I’ve been feeling a little lonely.” He admitted. “I think because we were recording last week, I got so used to being out and doing things all the time, so now it feels weird to slow down again.”

Jim leaned his hip against the counter and helped him by putting the right amount of formula in each bottle before the water. “Aren’t you recording again this week?”

“Only Thursday and Friday.” He shrugged. “I was supposed to be writing today, but I wasn’t really feeling very inspired. I didn’t want to wake Teddy with the piano.”

“So what have you been doing?” He asked.

“Washing up, mostly. I went down to the laundrette to do the sheets and towels in their dryer.” He laughed a little. “My life isn’t that interesting, darling, I’m afraid.”

“I don’t think that’s true.” He kissed Freddie’s cheek as he made them both mugs of tea, Freddie occupied with the bottles. “I think you’re incredibly interesting. We all have slow days, it doesn’t make you boring.”

“I did paint for a little while. The gallery I did that first showing in was wondering if I wanted another exhibition, but I haven’t really made anything new since then. I haven’t really had the money for materials or anything, but I got a cheap bit of canvas with a bit of that grocery money you gave me and so I thought I’d give that a go.” He shrugged shyly, worried that Jim might be angry that he’d wasted their money.

“Darling, you can have as much money as you like to spend on materials. You’re my little artist.” He kissed Freddie’s cheek. “You don’t have to buy the cheap stuff.”

“I-” He sighed a little, looking down at his feet. “I feel bad that you have to support all of us and I don’t help at all with that. All I seem to do is spend money that isn’t really mine.”

“Oh, sweetheart!” Jim wrapped his arms back around him. “Baby, I love my job, I don’t suffer any hardships for the sake of our family. I want to do it because it makes us all happy. You just work in a different way, because you spend your time looking after our children.”

“I just-” Freddie sighed and took up his mug, looking into it and swirling the water. “I think I miss having a job. When I was in India, I used to go to my job every day and I hated it, I used to daydream about being the one at home and I was so envious of Mary. But now, I- I-” He bit his lip. “I don’t know. I don’t know why I can’t just be satisfied with what I’ve got.”

“Do you want to get a job?” He asked.

“I don’t want to do something mundane, like scanning shopping or whatever, I don’t think that’d be worth it. But I want my life to be something more than socks and nappies.” He admitted. “I love the little ones, and I can’t wait for our little girl, but I- I don’t just want to be a husband and a dad.”

“We could always pay for childcare for the little ones?” He suggested. “There are some nice day nurseries around here that take babies.”

“I’m not sure.” He admitted. “Because I don’t want to miss things. I don’t want them to be the ones that see his first steps, or his first word, and I don’t want them to be the ones that start to feed him properly and that kind of thing. I want to do that.”

“Seems to me like we need the music to kick in, then.” Jim kissed the back of his neck softly. 

“I really want to be a performer.” He whispered. “I always wanted to, ever since I was a kid, I wanted to sing or dance or play piano, I just want to see someone’s made happy by something I do.”

“You look wonderful on stage. Tops of the Pops were practically drooling over you.” He chuckled. 

“But EMI just won’t budge on marketing Killer Queen.” He sighed. “They think it’s inappropriate. They didn’t like the performance.”

“So they won’t release it as a single?” He asked softly. “I didn’t know, baby, I’m sorry.”

“I’m just feeling a little disappointed.” He admitted. “That’s just- that’s how I am on stage, and they- they hated it, they thought I was acting like some cheap whore.”

“Did someone say that to you, darling?” He asked, a little more firm. “They shouldn’t say things like that.”

“Our manager.” He looked down at his hands shamefully. “We haven’t gotten a single penny from it. We didn’t even get any money from Top of the Pops.”

“That’s awful.” Jim frowned and tilted his head up, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Does he say things like that to you a lot?”

“Not that much. Sometimes.” He sighed. “I think he’s talking to the others about getting a new singer. He saw Smile touring with Tim, I think he’s wondering if he’d like to take my place.”

“You need to talk to someone else at EMI. You can’t have him as a manager if he won’t support all of you.” Jim said firmly. “This is your dream, baby, and they’re your songs, no one else has as much of a right to it as you do.”

“I want it to work out.” He murmured miserably. “I don’t want to hold the others back, but I don’t want them to do it without me.”

“You can do it.” Jim took his hands and squeezed them. “Fuck, Freddie, you should’ve heard what some of the guys were saying about you at work, I could’ve punched them. They were drooling over you. You shouldn’t let anybody kill that spark you have, because that’s what makes you special. You don’t want to be another nobody stuck behind a guitar when you can be you.”

Freddie wrapped his arms around him, resting his cheek against Jim’s chest and closing his eyes. “I love you.” He murmured, finding a momentary peace in that embrace, a break from the constant worrying in his mind. 

“I love you so much, darling.” Jim kissed the top of his head and cradled him close, letting him relax against him. “It’s all going to work out.”

* * *

]“Baba.” Eva murmured sleepily as Freddie picked her up gently, pressing a kiss to her forehead. It was late at night, and she had barely managed to heave her eyes open before she realised he was putting her shoes on and helping her into her coat. “Baba, what are you doing?”

“We have to go out, baby.” Freddie’s voice was thick, as though he’d been crying, and she frowned to hear it. Her father almost never cried. “I’m sorry for waking you.”

She rubbed her eyes and looked up at him, his eyes red, and she whimpered a little. “What’s the matter, Baba?”

He swallowed the lump in his throat, trying not to break down as he did up her coat and moved over to Dylan. “Come on, darling, wake up.” He whispered, shaking him a little. “We have to get up now.”

“Baba?” Eva asked louder, even more worried.

“Teddy isn’t very well, sweetheart.” He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath as Dylan sat up. “Let’s get your shoes on.”

Dylan pulled on his shoes tiredly and Freddie buttoned his coat for him, before taking them both downstairs. He ran straight back over to Jim, who was trying to rock Theo to some comfort. “How is he?”

“He isn’t breathing any easier.” He murmured. “He’s been sick again. I’m worried he’s dehydrated.”

“Fucking hell.” Freddie looked up at the ceiling for a moment, his hands shaking. He opened the door, forgoing his shoes or his jacket. “Come on, please, let’s go.”

“Freddie-” Jim said quickly.

“I don’t give a fuck right now!” He said fearfully, grabbing the car keys and running out despite the rain. He unlocked the car and lifted the children in, getting them strapped in as Jim got into the driver’s side, handing Freddie the baby when he sat beside him. 

Theo went quiet in his arms, but Freddie was comforted as he watched the little boy blink up at him. He was cold, so cold, despite the three blankets he was wrapped up in; Freddie repositioned him so he was lying against his chest, so that they could both share his body heat. “It’s alright, baby.” He murmured when he whimpered. “Daddy’s here, Daddy’s going to keep you warm and safe until we can see the doctor.”

The time was a blur from the moment Theo was taken from his arms; he’d cried himself to sleep against his lover’s shoulder, and he’d woken screaming more than once, infinite visions of never seeing his little boy again, of having failed him so badly, so horrifically, failing him in not realising he was getting sick, he was going off his food, assuming it was all just a cold until his fingers had started going blue-

“Freddie-” Jim murmured, shaking his shoulder gently to wake him. He was on his fourth coffee, watching over the children as they slept curled in armchairs opposite them, and he was trying to wake Freddie before he woke himself in fear. “It’s alright, darling, I’m here.” He murmured when he gasped awake.

“Teddy-” He murmured, sounding so young and so vulnerable.

He stroked Freddie’s hair gently. “No news yet.” He whispered.

Freddie sat up restly and hugged his knees. “They’d tell me if he was gone, wouldn’t they?” He whispered.

“Oh, darling.” Jim kissed his forehead. “He’s not gone, Freddie, he’ll be just fine.”

“I’m scared.” He whispered. 

“I know.” Jim wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer.

Freddie was dozing off again when the door opened and he looked up, rubbing his eyes quickly. “Are you Theodore’s parents?” She asked, looking over the lovers with a kind smile. 

“Yes.” Freddie stood up quickly. “Is he okay? Can I see him?”

“Just one of you can, I’m afraid. Most of our little ones on the ward are sleeping.” She looked over them nervously. “I’m sorry. You can take it in turns, if you’d like.”

“You go.” Jim squeezed his hand comfortingly. “We’ll be right here, darling.”

Freddie followed her out of the room, rubbing his arm as a nervous habit. “What’s the matter with him?”

“We think he’s got a pretty nasty case of pneumonia.” She told him, trying to stay as soothing and comforting as she could. “But we’ve got him on some antibiotics, and some fluids, and he’s got a little more colour in his cheeks now.”

“Fuck.” He murmured, looking through the door at a little nursery of babies, comforted by the presence of nurses immediately tending to each one when they cried. “What causes that?”

“Has anyone in the family had any illnesses recently? Especially your other little ones, they could’ve picked something up at school.” She held the door open for him and took him over to a little crib in the corner. “Here he is.”

“Darling…” Freddie knelt by the side of the cot and ran his thumb through his little boy’s hair, smiling a little when his eyes followed his fingers and he tilted his head towards them. “It was me, I had a chest infection. I still had to look after him in that time.”

“It happens.” She rubbed his shoulder. “It’s okay. You brought him in before it was too late, so he should start looking up in a few days. He just needs to have our care for a while.”

“Can I hold him?” He asked softly.

“You can’t knock the drips. If you sit down here-” She pulled out a chair for him. “Then you should be okay.”

“Hello, darling.” He whispered, picking up his son and cradling him close to his chest as he sat down. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek on the downy hair on the top of his head, unable to stop himself from pressing a little kiss to his warm skin. “Oh, baby, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Theo had been restless in his cot, kicking and pulling at the cannula in his arm, but he seemed to relax immediately in the arms of his daddy, his eyes beginning to close heavily. He rubbed his back gently, settling him in the warmth of his arms, and hummed softly, sweetly, lulling his little boy into the greatest calm he could. “Daddy’s here, sweetheart.” He opened his eyes when little fingers stretched and rested on his jawline; he pressed a little kiss to his baby’s fingers and smiled when he put his fist to his mouth. “I think he’s hungry.” He murmured.

“Is Mum coming down? It might be best for him to breastfeed.” She glanced at the baby in his arms and smiled.

“Oh, he’s been bottle fed since he was newborn.” He said shyly. 

“That’s not always best for little ones. You might want to explain to Mum that-”

“He lives with myself and my fiancé.” Freddie interrupted her, a little more firm. “He’ll be my husband before long.”

Her cheeks went pink and she nodded. “I understand.” She smiled shyly. “That’s my mistake, I’m sorry. I just assumed- you know.” She shrugged, a little nervous she’d offended.

“No worries.” He smiled and lay Theo back down in his crib; the little boy kicked excitedly. Freddie usually put him down when he prepared a bottle. “I’m going to update him quickly, and then I’ll be back.”

“Of course!” She nodded. “I’ll get him a warm bottle. Would you like to give it to him?”

Freddie nodded as he left the room, running down the corridor as fast as he could; he burst into the room heaving for breath, his cheeks glowing. “He’s alright.” He murmured as Jim swept him up in a hug. “He’s alright, Jim, he’s alright, they’ve got him on some antibiotics, he wants a bottle, he’s okay.”

“Thank God.” Jim whispered, kissing his forehead; he was so thankful that Freddie seemed more level-headed, less frightened, less desperate. “Are you okay?”

“I held him and he was all sleepy and then he reached for my face and then he started sucking on his fist and he’s acting more normal again.” He replied, all his words a jumble. “He’s still a little blue and he was agitated before I got there but he was better when I was there.”

“Listen- listen.” Jim chuckled, cupping Freddie’s cheek. “You go and give Teddy a bottle, I’ll drop the others off with Mary and then I’ll come back and be with you both.”

“Okay.” Freddie nodded, looking tired and young and vulnerable and relieved. “Come quickly.”

* * *

Freddie patiently sat with his little boy, cradling him with one arm and supporting him to keep him upright enough to feed whenever he reached for the bottle. He hadn’t taken much, just a little to wet his lips and enough to spill onto his clean sleep suit; Freddie didn’t mind, having come to love the sour-milk baby smell that always seemed to cling to Theo, no matter how many baths he took.

Jim tiptoed into the corner of the nursery, glancing nervously at one of the nurses; he couldn’t help the smile when she gave him a wink and waved him in. He went over to Freddie in the corner and knelt beside him, dropping a little kiss on Theo’s forehead. “How is he?” He whispered.

“Not hugely hungry. I think he’s more thirsty.” Freddie rested his cheek against Jim’s shoulder, pressing a little kiss there. “But he’s taken a little, and the nurse said not to expect too much because he’s poorly, but he is getting fluid through his drip so he’ll be okay.”

“I went home and made up a little bag.” Jim smiled shyly. “I might have missed something, but I was trying to think of things he might need. It’s a couple of sleep suits, a whole load of clean nappies just in case, some socks, his blanket, some of those little muslin squares that you use to keep him clean, and one of his little jackets. I also brought you a change of pajamas and your toothbrush.” He leaned over to run his thumb over his son’s hair and smiled. “I thought you’d want something clean in case he was sick. I figured you’d want to stay with him.”

“God…” Freddie sighed happily and leaned up to catch his lips in a lazy kiss; Jim smelled so strongly of coffee, but Freddie couldn’t even begin to mind. “I think the hours are eight until eight, usually. I might have to leave him overnight.”

Jim could see the worry in the lines of his face and kissed his temple comfortingly. “The nurses here seem lovely.”

“They do. I shouldn’t really be feeding him, a nurse should, but they let me because they knew I was so worried about him.” He put the bottle back to the baby’s lips when he reached for it and smiled when he drank a little more. “They’ve been lovely.”

“I know I shouldn’t really be here.” He admitted. “But I guess it’s so late, and it’s his first night, they wouldn’t want us both going out of our minds.”

“Definitely not.” Freddie agreed. “Thank you for keeping me sane.”

“No problem, darling. No problem at all.”


	22. Metronome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The following day.

“Thank you so much for taking them overnight.” Jim looked a little scruffy as he leaned in the doorway, a few days unshaven, still in sweatpants and a sweater that she thought was definitely Freddie’s. “We were a little frantic, as you could probably tell.”

“Is he okay?” Mary asked, holding the door open for him so that he could come inside. “You gave me such a fright when you said Teddy was sick.”

“He’s definitely got pneumonia. Freddie’s been awake with him half the night, but I think he likes to feel that he’s helpful.” Jim leaned down to kiss Eva’s forehead when she came running for him. “Hello, princess!”

“Daddy!” She giggled when he picked her up. “Daddy, is Teddy okay?”

“He’s poorly, darling, he’s stayed in the hospital for now so that the doctors can make him better.” He explained and combed his fingers through her hair. “Baba is staying with him until tonight.”

She rested her head on his shoulder and smiled lovingly up at him. “I miss Baba.” She said softly.

“I know, darling, but he’s got to stay with Teddy to make sure that he’s feeling okay. You know how much your Baba cares for Theo.” He said soothingly. 

“I know.” She echoed and rubbed her eyes tiredly. “Can we snuggle?”

“If Mary says that’s okay.” Jim said softly, glancing questioningly at her.

“Mai?” Eva asked hopefully. 

“Of course!” She smiled. “My house is yours, absolutely.”

Eva giggled as Jim lay down on the corner of the sofa, pecking the top of her head again and rubbing her back. They were both tired, having been awake half the night, and Jim couldn’t help it if his eyes slipped closed a little. 

“Mummy?” Dylan asked, coming into the room and holding out his arms when he saw Eva snuggled to Jim. 

She sat on the other end of the sofa and let him crawl into her lap, kissing the top of his head in the same way as Jim had Eva. “Mind my tummy, sweetheart, don’t press too hard on your sister.”

“How’s it all going?” Jim asked, opening one tired eye and looking over at her. “How’s our little angel?”

“She’s tiring.” Mary chuckled. “Both times I’ve been pregnant, Freddie’s done everything for me. He used to be helicopter husband. I never had to go out, get groceries, do laundry, anything. He liked me best when I was eating ice cream and laying on our sofa, though I was terrible at not doing anything when I knew he needed shirts for work and the kids needed picking up from school.” She smiled. “So now I’m having to do everything, but it’s awfully tiring.”

“We can always help you out.” Jim promised. “Anything you need, we’re both invested in the both of you.”

“I-” Her cheeks flushed and she looked away shyly. “I haven’t told you, I- I thought I’d probably tell Freddie first. I know he won’t be bothered by it, I’ve just been putting it off for too long-” She shook her head at herself. “God, listen to me. I- I’ve got a boyfriend.”

“I think Freddie will probably be delighted to know you’ve got someone else to look after you.” Jim leaned over and squeezed her shoulder. “How long have you been together?”

“Three months.” She smiled shyly.

“And he knows about the baby?” He checked.

“How could he not?” She laughed, resting a hand on her bump. “Yes, and he doesn’t mind at all. He knows that he’s not the father, and he knows that she’s coming to live with you. I think he’d probably like to have kids of his own one day, so maybe I could try again.” She smiled down at Dylan. 

“So where is he today?” Jim asked curiously.

“He was in bed when you came earlier, but he went when he figured you’d be coming back. He didn’t want to accidentally bump into Freddie, just because he knew I hadn’t told either of you about him yet.” She smiled shyly. “His name is Zana, and he’s Iranian. Not that I have a type, or anything.” She chuckled.

“I’m glad you seem so happy.” He rubbed Eva’s back and smiled. “I know your last few months with Freddie were pretty difficult, so you both deserve to be happy.”

“I feel as though we know very different Freddies.” She admitted. “When I lived with him, he wasn’t even known as Freddie. I knew the young professional, the businessman in smart suits. I watched him grow up but you- you see a totally different man.”

“I hope he’s happier now.” Jim admitted. “Jer said he used to get quite upset.”

“He doesn’t deal with stress very well. He doesn’t like being the sole provider, he would get so upset every time ends didn’t quite meet and we had to ask for money from our parents, even when he was only sixteen and he was working some dead-end internship in finance.” She told him. “He used to cry because he wanted to call in sick so much. He used to barely see Dylan when he was a baby, and he’d barely put him down as soon as he got home.”

“He is wonderful with the little ones.” Jim agreed. “Life suits him when he doesn’t have to get up too early and he can snuggle with Theo in bed.”

* * *

Freddie dozed in the armchair, one hand resting on the cot that his little boy was fast asleep in; his mug of tea had gone cold on the side-table next to him while he stole a few minutes of sleep. His cheeks were red from the warmth of the nursery, his head lolling forward, occasionally dragging himself back into consciousness whenever he thought his name was mentioned by the groups of mothers in the room.

“Sweetheart?” Jim rested a hand on his shoulder, his heart swelling with love at the sight of him, bleary-eyed and dark-circled, stubbled and tired, so young and so loving. “Hello, darling.” Jim whispered lovingly.

“‘Lo.” Freddie mumbled sleepily, reaching for his boyfriend like a child wanting support.

Jim leaned down and wrapped his arms tightly around Freddie, feeling him almost melt into the embrace. “Are you okay, darling?” He asked gently.

“I’m tired.” Freddie rubbed his eyes blearily and then clung back onto Jim. “But I don’t want to leave.”

Jim spied one of the nurses walking over and dropped a quick kiss on Freddie’s head before he turned to look at her. “Is now a good time to talk to you both?” She asked gently.

“Yes.” Freddie widened his eyes to try and ward off the sleeplessness. “What is it?”

“We’d like to move Theodore onto a different part of the ward.” She told him. “This nursery is only really for single-night stays, and we think it would benefit him to stay with us for about a week.”

Freddie bit his lip but stayed quiet; as much as he wanted Theo home, it was more important that his little boy was healthy. “I like the nurses here.” He said eventually.

“Oh, don’t worry about that!” She smiled. “It’s still the same team. We have another room with adult beds and cots where we have our mid-term babies kept, except there’s curtains to draw around you so you have a little more privacy.”

“Adult beds?” Freddie echoed dumbly.

“Oh, I’m sorry if I misread the signs.” She blushed a little. “I just thought you’d like to stay with Theodore overnight. They’re nothing glamorous, they’re just hospital mattresses without the frames, but it might be a little nicer than trying to sleep in an armchair.”

Freddie threw his arms around her. “Thank you!” He said excitedly. “Oh, that’s just perfect!”

“I know just how much you like to be involved with his treatment, and you’re a wonder at calming him.” Theo started to cry and she smiled kindly, picking up the little boy carefully. “Speaking of which.”

Freddie watched as she rocked him, checking his vitals quickly to try and work out the cause of his distress. “You know, I think he might just be missing his daddy.” She smiled, handing Freddie the baby, all bundled safe and warm in blankets.

Jim wound an arm around his waist as he rocked the little boy, feeling more protective over him than over anything else in the whole world. Freddie closed his eyes sleepily as he felt the warmth of his little boy against his chest, lulled so near to sleep by his closeness-

“You’re going to fall asleep standing up.” Jim chuckled warmly. “Come on, why don’t we go and get set up in the other room?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very out of place area to ask this question but i figured here I had the widest audience - this is in relation to all of my fics, but specifically to Sobranie (for those of you who are reading!). Do you guys prefer graphic sex scenes, or would you rather they were just glossed over - as in you know they do it, but you don't have all the minute details? Let me know what you think!


	23. Bubbles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing at the moment I'm really into it

“Look at your little cheeks.” Freddie cooed, poking Theo’s cheek gently; his cheeks were pink, looking far healthier after two days spent in the hospital. The little boy giggled and reached for his daddy, tapping his chin as best he could; Freddie lifted him up and blew a raspberry on his tummy.

“I love you.” Freddie chuckled as Theo screeched with laughter, little fingers grabbing on to any part of Freddie he could reach. “Ouch, baby- ouch!” He laughed as his fingers grabbed his hair. “You’re a menace.” He said playfully, kissing the end of his nose.

Theo cooed and giggled, enjoying having all of his father’s attention. “Ba.” He said excitedly.

Freddie’s heart leapt, though he logically knew he probably had no idea what he was saying; he loved these moments of bonding, his little boy learning his first sounds. “That’s me.” He murmured, stroking his cheek. “I’m your Baba.”

“You sound like you’re having a lovely time in here.” The nurse chuckled and pulled back the curtain around their cubicle. She was balancing a little bottle of medicine, a bottle of milk, and a mug in two hands. “Medicine and milk for baby, and a tea for daddy.”

“Angel.” Freddie smiled at her and took his tea, blowing across the surface and then sipping a little. “Can he take his medicine by mouth now?”

“He’s starting to be a little more hungry now, so he should swallow it. Babies hate cannulas more than anything, it doesn’t seem fair to keep putting them in to give him antibiotics like that if he’ll take them by mouth.” She said gently. “Would you like me to give it to him, or do you want to do it?”

“I can give it a go.” He said, biting his lip shyly. “Should I put it on the back of his tongue, like colic drops?”

“Exactly.” She agreed and sat beside the bed. “You know, I forgot to mention it last night, but the lullaby that you sung for him was beautiful. I think you put half the children in the nursery to sleep.”

Freddie’s cheeks suffused with a glow and he smiled at her shyly. “I’ve always sung lullabies for the little ones.” He explained. “Ever since I had my eldest, I sang him to sleep practically every night. He struggled to sleep when he was a baby, and his mother had been with him all day, so it was how I took that problem from her. It’s- it’s a habit that I keep mostly for myself, now, I love to sing to them and I’m not ready to stop.”

“I think it’s gorgeous. I want you here every night so that you can sing all our little ones to sleep.” She chuckled and stroked Theo’s cheek as Freddie syringed the medicine, drop by drop, onto the back of his tongue. “They all dropped right off.”

“It does work like a dream.” Freddie chuckled, smiling when the little boy took all his medicine easily. “He’s being wonderfully well behaved today. Sometimes he’s so fussy, he spends his whole time tugging on my hair or trying to pull the buttons off my shirt.”

“He’s probably just hungry. He hasn’t had that much over the last few days.” She smiled and handed him the bottle of milk. “Let’s give it a go.”

Freddie adjusted the position of the baby in his arms and peppered kisses over his face before taking the bottle from her. The little boy went from sucking on his fist to reaching for the bottle, little fingers strong and inquisitive as he pulled as best as he could on Freddie’s hand. “Alright, darling.” Freddie chuckled, letting him latch onto the bottle.

“How’s everybody doing?” Jim asked, coming into the room with a bag in his hand. “I brought some lunch.”

“Good, I’m starving.” Freddie smiled, his eyes never leaving his baby. “Teddy’s having some lunch, too.”

“You call him Teddy?” The nurse asked, unable to stop herself from fawning over the sweetness. 

“Theo or Teddy. Depends on how sweet he’s being.” Freddie chuckled, crossing his legs. “Come and look, he looks much better.”

Jim put the bag to the side and sat beside Freddie on the bed. “Oh, look at him.” He murmured. “You make the cutest babies.”

Freddie laughed and kissed Jim’s cheek. “He is truly adorable.”

“What’s that nickname you call him? That’s perfect.” Jim mused.

“Malus?” Freddie suggested. “That means loveable.”

“God, that’s so cute.” Jim chuckled. “You must be going crazy, being indoors all the time.”

“I just like to keep an eye on him. I love him.” Freddie kissed the baby’s head and smiled. “You never realise how much someone means to you until you get scared.”

* * *

“I had an idea.” Kash pulled the curtain to his cubicle back, looking at baby Theo, crawling around the bed, picking up toy after toy and shaking them all, searching for the loudest one. She sat beside her brother on the bed and handed him a tube of bubbles. “See if he likes these.”

“Oh, he’ll love these.” Freddie grinned, opening the tube and blowing a few bubbles at his baby. The little boy watched, enthralled, and broke into a huge smile; his little face fell again when they popped in front of him. “Baby, try this.” He whispered, blowing some more and then touching one of them to make it pop.

Theo rolled onto his back and pulled himself up to sitting before he flopped back down onto his back. Kash chuckled and put a hand on his back, helping him sit upright, grinning when he reached out to pop one of the bubbles himself. “He’s a clever little thing, isn’t he?”

“He’s certainly catching on.” Freddie chuckled, blowing some more and listening to his little giggles. “Is that fun?” He asked playfully.

Theo giggled with delight and popped more, gasping when they all disappeared. “I miss mine being this little.”

“God, don’t. He’s growing so fast, I feel like I’m losing his babyhood.” Freddie smiled shyly. “He’s so little, but he’s so big. I still can’t believe that Dylan’s going to be six this year.”

“Six?” She echoed. “Jesus.”

“I swear he was three yesterday, and I was chasing him around the pool in India and being shit scared that he was going to fall over and break his nose.” Freddie chuckled. “I can still remember Mary being pregnant with him. I can remember nearly fainting when she was fifteen and pregnant.”

“You really didn’t know the meaning of the word careful.” Kash chuckled. 

“I was a child!” Freddie blushed. “I was stupid and naive and I didn’t really know what I was doing. I didn’t even know I was gay.” He backtracked a little. “Well, maybe I did, but I wasn’t about to accept it.”

“You must’ve been a terrible lay.” She said with a smirk. “I’m glad you found Jim. You’ve been much happier since we moved.”

“I hate being a bloke.” Freddie chuckled, blowing more bubbles for his little boy. “You know, all tough and shoulder to lean on, I never wanted to be that. I hate the whole self-sufficiency thing. I was sixteen, I couldn’t look after myself, let alone a wife and a baby.”

“And you don’t have to do that now?” She asked.

“No, not at all. I think that’s why I’ve rushed everything, because I don’t want to stop being this guy. Because now I don’t have to worry about making money, keeping the roof over our head, whatever. I get to spend my time with my boys without having to worry.” Freddie smiled. “I think I need someone to look after me as much as I look after everyone else. Maybe I should’ve never left home, I needed Mum and Dad more than I thought I did.”

“I’m glad he looks after you. I must admit, when you told me you’d met a guy and you were going to marry him, I was worried. I didn’t necessarily think that anything bad was going to happen, I just- I knew that you’d never really been in a relationship with a guy that wasn’t just sex. I was worried that he might not be everything that you wanted from a boyfriend.” She told him. “But I’ve seen how much happier you’ve been recently. I think we all have.”

Freddie’s cheeks pinkened and he smiled. “I feel like we’ve both taken a burden off of each other. He really struggled having the job and having kids, I really struggled with money and a newborn, we were both struggling with loneliness. There’s something life changing about waking up with somebody next to you. I get so much more- more attention, now, I’m not just giving all of my time to others.”

“Did you not get that from Mary?” She asked.

“It was just different. There was always something missing, and in hindsight, I think it was the fact that I was realising my sexuality. It sounds stupid, but even the little things really start to get to you, like you feel like you should be the little spoon, or someone should be playing with your hair, or you should be the one feeding the baby, and alongside all that there’s obviously the sexual side of it, and you just grow to resent someone that you’re supposed to love.” He picked up Theo as he crawled closer and sat him in his lap. “And it was just like I met him, and he knew what I needed straight away. He knew that I needed to not always be so strong.”

“Good afternoon, darling!” He heard a voice call as Jim came around the corner, unbuttoning the first few buttons on his shirt. “How are my babies?” He asked, kissing Freddie first, and then Theo.

“Do I not get a kiss?” Kash asked, mock-offended, though she laughed when he kissed her cheek. “Watch it, I’ve got a fiancé.”

“So have I.” Jim winked, sitting up beside Freddie and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Baby looks happy.”

“Baby discovered bubbles.” Freddie rested his head on Jim’s shoulder; Kash could see immediately how he seemed to relax when he was with his lover. 

“Can I try?” Jim asked hopefully, taking the tube of bubbles. As soon as he opened the tube, Theo’s eyes were straight on him, looking up hopefully.

Jim blew bubbles into the air, laughing as little fingers came up to pop them, squealing and giggling the whole time. “Oh, darling!” He laughed.

“There is an awful lot of laughter coming from this cubicle.” One of the nurses came in, watching the family in front of her with delight. “What are we doing to poor baby?”

“He’s got bubbles.” Freddie chuckled, bouncing him playfully. “He’s got a lot of energy, so we’re trying to burn some off.”

“I like the sound of that.” She smiled. “How about some good news, boys?”

“Good news?” Jim looked up excitedly.

“Your little boy is doing wonderfully, as I’m sure you can tell. If he’s still doing well tomorrow, and all his vitals are good, then he can come home with you.” She crossed her arms and chuckled. “I’m sure that’ll put a smile on his face.”

“Really?” Freddie asked excitedly.

“You’ll have to take some antibiotics with you, keep everything nice and consistent, but you clearly take very good care of your little boy. I’m happy to let you care for him at home.” She nodded.

“You’re coming home!” Freddie lifted the baby up and kissed his forehead. “Baby, you’re coming home!”


	24. Midnight Bottles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Settling back into the routine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I have missed writing tiny babies

Freddie was wiped out; he was fast asleep on the sofa, curled up still in his clothes, without so much as a pillow to rest his head on. Jim was showering, finally having the time to relax, and they’d put the children to bed not long before: Freddie desperately stole the few minutes of sleep that he could, having been awake almost continuously for the last few days to check on his son. 

Jim whistled as he got dressed, his spirits high now that his home was so calm again, now that he could check on every sleeping face just by wandering the corridors of his home. He pulled on a sweater and wandered out into the living room, faltering when he saw his fiancé asleep; a soft smile crossed his lips and he knelt beside him, ever-so-carefully propping his head up with a cushion that he’d been clutching in his arms. When Freddie’s eyes began to flutter, he shushed him gently, stroking his hair from his eyes. “It’s alright, baby, go back to sleep.” He whispered. “I just don’t want you getting cramp in your neck.”

Freddie smiled lovingly and snuggled down, his cheeks pink with love and with warmth. “Jim.” He whispered.

“I’ve got you, darling.” He pressed a light kiss to the top of his head. “I’ll give Teddy his bottle, get some rest.”

He heaved his eyes open and then smiled. “Thank you.” He whispered. 

“No problem.” Jim glanced at the baby in his basket, smiling at the excited squeak he let out when Jim gently picked him up. “Oh, hello, darling!”

The baby looked up at him with wide eyes, grabbing happily onto him, and Jim chuckled. “He’s a happy little boy.” He said mindlessly, holding him against his chest as he went to warm his bottle on his stand. “My happy little boy.” He laughed, kissing his nose playfully and bouncing him gently. 

Freddie watched from his place on the sofa, already half asleep again, and smiled to himself. His son, his own little piece of his flesh and blood, a baby that he had nurtured and cared for ever since his birth, and his fiancé together was his favourite thing to watch; it was like watching Jim care for a part of him, so gentle as he moved his fingers back and forth across the baby’s fingers, so tender as he cradled him in his arms and showed him the night view of London from their flat window while he fed. 

Jim kissed his head idly when he took a break, tiny eyelids already drooping once again; he was still tired a lot, still recovering from being so poorly. Jim hummed soothingly, nuzzling the top of his head playfully and smiling when little fingers clutched tight to his shirt; the little boy was so loving and trusting of him, almost as much as he loved and trusted Freddie, and it made Jim feel so impossibly warm, so happy, to know how much the little boy loved him.

He sat on the arm of the snuggle chair in the lounge and tucked his feet up underneath him, shivering slightly in the evening air; though he was cold himself, his first instinct was to swaddle the baby in another blanket. 

Freddie heaved himself up eventually, watching his lover shiver, and carefully threw the dressing gown that he’d haphazardly had around his shoulders at him. “Wear this, darling.” He yawned and grabbed Jim’s patchwork quilt to wrap himself up in.

Jim glanced at him and smiled, pulling the jacket on and surreptitiously pulling the blanket over his nose to take in the smell of his lover. “I love you.” He said softly.

“I love you too.” Freddie shivered and tucked his feet up, making himself smaller to help preserve heat. “I’ve just realised that I’m starving.”

“That’s rare.” Jim smiled over at him, full of warmth.

“I didn’t really eat apart from the dinners you brought in hospital.” Freddie sat up and tucked the blanket around his shoulder. “I’ve kind of just remembered that I’m a human and I have needs.”

Jim laughed and bounced the baby. “Do you mind making dinner?”

“No, no, of course not. It’s my job.” Freddie chuckled sleepily and stood up.

“You’re not my maid, baby. It’s not your job.” Jim walked up behind him and kissed his cheek.

“No, but you’re the one that’s always busy. I like to look after you.” Freddie looked over at him and smiled. “Maybe if I get famous then we could have a personal assistant or a chef or something.”

“I think we’d need a nanny first of all.” Jim patted Theo gently on the back, bouncing him lightly. “What with number four on the way.”

“I still can’t believe she’s pregnant.” Freddie admitted. “That’s officially two out of three children that I haven’t planned for.”

“Did you not plan Theo?” He asked curiously.

“No, no, we planned Theo. We were trying to save our marriage.” Freddie smiled wryly. “Dylan was an accident. We were fifteen and just- just discovering ourselves, our bodies, I suppose. When you live in a culture where no one talks about sex, it’s this massive taboo, you feel like you’re being so daring by doing it before marriage, but the downside of that is nobody warns you that you’ll end up with a baby that’ll completely change your life.”

“I know what you mean.” Jim sat on the kitchen table with Theo in his arms, bouncing him playfully. “Abstinence is bullshit. I was just lucky that I fooled around with boys instead of girls.”

“I didn’t even really know that people were gay at that age. I mean I think- I think I knew that I was different, somehow, but I just assumed that everyone had those feelings for men and they just kind of ignored them.” He busied himself by starting the dinner and stretched a little. “And then there was this huge scandal at my school because two boys were caught sleeping together, and everyone called them gay, and that’s when I realised that it was actually a thing.”

“Do you wish somebody had told you about it?” Jim asked curiously. “Or that it had been more normalised?”

“I don’t think I’d have three children under the age of five if I did.” Freddie shrugged. “Things work out, don’t they? I’ve hardly ended up in a shitty situation.” He glanced back at him and smiled.

“Do you regret the children?” He questioned, voice so gentle and full of honesty.

“Regret them?” Freddie echoed. “No, no, God no. They’re the best thing I’ve ever done.” He smiled softly. “You know, I don’t have a career or a degree or anything, I’ve never been particularly successful at anything, but I’m a fucking good father. A lot of the time that’s enough for me.”

“You are a fucking good father.” Jim agreed. “I’ve never met someone who cares so much for their kids. You just- it’s so obvious that you love them, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you yell at them, you’ve never said that they’re annoying, you don’t complain about waking up in the middle of the night to do feeds or to change bedsheets or soothe tears or anything like that.”

“I won’t be able to do it forever.” Freddie smiled at the sight of Theo, who was watching Jim intently. “You’ve got to make the most of little ones. I’ve always loved babies and little kids, I think they keep you young.”

Freddie came closer and pinched Theo’s cheek playfully. “I can’t wait to have our little girl.” Jim said softly, stroking Theo’s soft, downy hair. “What would you like to call her?”

Freddie paused for a moment, holding a packet of pasta in his hand. “I hadn’t thought about baby names.” He admitted. “I’ve always been thinking of boys’ names.”

“Would you like a Persian name or an English name?” Jim asked curiously.

“It’s your choice as much as it is mine.” Freddie turned back to him and smiled. “What do you think?”

“I like your sister’s name. What other Persian girls’ names are there?” He asked curiously.

“I like the ones that start with E. Ester, Ezailah, Elaheh, names like that. I like Hettie, too, that’s kind of a cross between English and Persian.” He said contemplatively.

“Oh, I love Ezailah. That’s beautiful.” Jim smiled. “What does it mean?”

“Shadow.” Freddie chuckled. “It’s not particularly artistic, but I think it sounds beautiful. I think it’s even more wonderful when it’s spoken in the native tongue, but I’d obviously keep it Anglicised.”

“Say it in Persian for me.” Jim asked, sounding so excited; he loved the glimpses he got of Freddie’s past, his language, a whole world that he was outside of.

_“Aan dekhetr becheh men aset, Ezailah.”_ Freddie sounded so beautiful, so confident in himself and his voice; the language was so fluid, rolled off the tongue, liquid and molten, sweet like sugar. “Ezailah Gul Serkh- that’s-” He faltered for a moment, trying out a quick translation in his head. “Ezailah Rose.”

“Freddie, baby, that’s beautiful.” Jim sounded almost breathless, excited. “Can we call her Ezailah Rose?”

Freddie glanced over at him and smiled shyly. “You like it?”

“It’s incredible.” He said enthusiastically. “What did that sentence mean?”

“Oh, I was just introducing our baby daughter, Ezailah.” Freddie said, sounding so beautiful and bright, gorgeous and happy. “My first little girl. I always thought I was good at making boys, but maybe I can make little girls, too.”

“I wonder what she’ll look like.” Jim said, sounding dreamy. “Do you think she’ll have dark hair?”

“She might get my curls.” Freddie wound one of his own curls around his finger and smiled. “But then she might get Mary’s blonde hair. She’ll probably get my skin, though, and so she’ll probably have my hair, too.”

“Why your skin?” He asked curiously.

“Both my boys got my skin, they’ve got the Parsi in them.” He smiled. “But Theo’s got more of Mary’s hair, but Dylan’s definitely got mine.”

“Dylan looks just like you. He’s going to grow up to be a stunner.” Jim winked at him. “You know, I can’t believe that out of everybody in the whole world, I got you.”

“What do you mean?” Freddie asked curiously. 

“Well, you must’ve been hit on by more than just me while you’ve been over here. You’ve been to a lot of the clubs, haven’t you?” He asked curiously. 

“I mean, there were- well, a lot of guys before you.” Freddie’s cheeks pinkened. “I had a couple of boyfriends, but nothing serious. A lot of people didn’t get on with the kids.”

“And out of every single one of them, I somehow got the prize.” Jim leaned up and kissed his cheek. “And I get to have you in my house and asleep in bed next to me.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet!” Freddie blushed harder and grinned. “It’s not accidental that I’m here, darling. I’m here because you were the best out of any man I ever made love with.”

“Best of a bad bunch?” Jim asked playfully.

“Oh, shush. What if you’re the best of a brilliant bunch?” Freddie asked. “What if I had my brains fucked out four times a week by supermodels but I chose the man who makes me feel like I’m about sixteen and just falling in love for the first time?”

Jim stood up behind him and pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Freddie looked up at him and smiled. “And that’s why you’ve got me.”

* * *

“Baba, why is Theo crying?” Dylan asked loudly; Freddie was tiredly cradling the baby on the tube, Jim’s arm around his waist; the baby had been crying incessantly, spooked by the screeching of the train, and Freddie hated to listen to him cry when he couldn’t make it stop. 

“He doesn’t like the sounds, darling.” Jim replied distractedly. 

Dylan frowned. “Cover his ears.” He said, as though it were obvious.

Freddie looked up at Jim, his mind clicking with an idea: he leaned back in his seat and opened his jacket, ever so slightly pulling up his shirt, and rested the baby between his bare skin and the thin material of his shirt. He brought the jacket up against the baby’s ears and tried to shield him a little from the noise. It took a few minutes, but the baby started to calm against him; Freddie smiled, relieved, and let out a long breath. “Good idea, Dyl.”

The little boy smiled, proud, and kicked his little legs happily. “Wait, Jim, give me your scarf.” Freddie looked over at his lover. “Please?”

“Okay.” Jim unwound his scarf and gave it to Freddie. “Why?”

“I’m going to try this.” Freddie ever-so-carefully wound the scarf around the baby and then around his shoulders, tying a harness around them both to keep the baby against his chest. “Can you do a knot at the back for me?”

“Oh, good idea!” Jim agreed. He tied the harness in place, though Freddie kept an arm in place to support the weight of the baby. “You look really sweet like this.”

Freddie glanced up at him and smiled sleepily. “I’m just sorry I’ll be half asleep the whole time we’re at your parents’ house.”

“It’s not your fault.” Jim kissed his cheek. “Being a parent is a full-time job, Lucy knows more than anybody. I doubt she’s had a full night’s sleep for the last twenty years.”

“I know how that feels.” He murmured, resting his cheek on top of the baby’s head. 

Jim laughed and pressed a kiss to his head. “You’re only twenty-one.”

“I feel ancient. I’m about a hundred and ninety-six.” Freddie giggled, soft and playful, his cheeks pinkening from the gentleness of the kiss. 

“That’s because you’ve got four kids.” Jim smiled. “Most people haven’t knocked out that many by twenty-one.”

“To be fair to me, I’ve only knocked out two so far, as you so beautifully put it.” Freddie said, voice wry and playful. “One is adopted and the other one isn’t going to be around for another five months.”

“I don’t want to wait.” Jim pouted a little. “It’s taking so long. I don’t know why she can’t just be like- ready now.”

“She’s not a sandwich!” Freddie laughed. “Honestly, you impatient thing.”

“Oh, sue me, I’m excited.” Jim nuzzled the top of his head and pressed a soft kiss there. “Our own little girl.”

Eva clambered into Jim’s lap and wrapped her little arms around his neck. “I’m a girl.” She said loudly.

“I know you are, princess. You’re my special little girl.” He said soothingly. “But now we’re going to have a baby girl, too. You’re excited, aren’t you?”

She started to nod and giggled. “Teeny tiny.” She said softly. 

“Exactly.” He kissed her cheek. “And you’re going to be her big sister and her best friend. You can teach her everything about being a girl, Baba and I can’t do that.” He chuckled/

Her little eyes went wide and she gasped. “I’ll be special!”

“You will!” Jim agreed. “Do you want to teach her?”

She nodded excitedly. “Eyeshadow.” She said determinedly.

“You need to teach me that!” Dylan said, bouncing up and down in his chair. “Me and baby!”

“And you can teach Theo too.” Freddie stroked his thumb over the baby’s cheek and smiled. “You’re gonna look after all of us, aren’t you, Eva?”

She nodded and grinned, her cheeks flushed with joy. “Forever and ever and ever!”

**Author's Note:**

> This is the apology fic for Tenebrosity - I hope you enjoy it as much as you enjoyed that! As always, kudos/comments/general love is valued and adored!


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